Every-Thing Sports

Bleep it! Go full heel turn!

Astros World Series
photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

I've listened to all the bull bleep and crap spewed after Jim Crane allowed Rob Manfred to clip his manhood and put them it a glass case with the heavy handed punishment in regards to the Astros sign stealing scandals. He then bowed down even further by forcing his players to publicly apologize at Spring Training. It was despicable. In the first hour of Late Hits, Patrick Creighton and Jayson Braddock laid out how many times throughout history teams were caught stealing signs and how they were doing it. This crucifixion of the Astros as if they're some sort of lone bandit is sickening!

All the people bitching and complaining, the frivolous lawsuits, the blatant ignorance, the spreading of baseless accusations...This should all serve as fuel to the Astros and their fans this season. They got caught. They thumbed their noses at the whole apology thing, especially Alex Bregman (shot out to Justin Verlander for wearing the "Nobody Cares" hat at the golf outing). Bleep it! Let's go full heel mode! The heel turn is complete.

First Things First

A heel turn is a wrestling term used to describe a good guy (a babyface or face) turns into a bad guy or heel. The Astros were the fun-loving bunch of homegrown talent of a franchise that endured tanking in order to restock their minor leagues. That paid off in a major way in 2017 when they won a World Series. It was extra sweet considering Houston was hit by Harvey that August. Most of the world fell in love with them. They were the John Cena of baseball. They were beloved by most, and still hated by a good amount of folks for their antics.

Scandals Tear Away At Their Image

Sign stealing was the straw that broke the camel's back. When they signed Roberto Osuna, there was a ton of backlash and understandbly so. He was suspended amid a domestic violence incident and they traded for him anyway. That lead to another incident in which former GM Brandon Taubman was fired for causing a stir in the locker room for being obnoxious about the Osuna trade towards some female reporters. Top this bleep cake off with thew fact that former GM Jeff Luhnow created a toxic work environment, and you have the making of a heel turn.

Heel Mode: Activated

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Back in 1996, Hulk Hogan turned heel when he joined the nWo. The wrestling world was turned on its ear. Everyone actually thought WWE sent them to take over WCW. Fans were shocked to see their hero of the last 10-plus years turn heel. This is how Astros fans must feel right now. Their beloved team got caught stealing signs. Now what? Bleep it! Go with it. Yeah they got caught. No they weren't the only ones. Sure the punishment is harsh. And yes, the trolls and piece-riders in media and other fan bases are annoying AF, but embrace it!

Relish The Role

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You know what happened to the nWo? They ended up becoming the hottest act in wrestling. Stone Cold Steve Austin did something similar. Both were supposed to be heels, but were so good at it and so cool, people ended up liking them. They were cheered, sold a ton of merch, and drove ratings through the roof. So much so that WCW actually beat WWE in the ratings for over a year. This is what the team and fans need to do. I don't give a flying flip that they cheated! "If you aint cheatin you aint tryin!" and my other favorite line "It's only cheatin if you get caught!" Become the cool heels. Celebrate homeruns and big hits by simulating buzzers and banging trash cans. Have a trash can bobblehead giveaway. Pretend to talk into fake buzzers and devices in the dugout. Fans: wear "Steal It Back" shirts and create other parody paraphenelia to thumb your noses at the crybabies from other teams.

I don't give a damn what people may think. If they stink, do it anyway. Do it more if they're mashing the ball and leading the division. During the All Star festivities, keep it going by pretending to steal signs and bang trash cans. That World Series win isn't going anywhere. It's history, it happened and they can't undo it. Ignore the dumbasses online and in the media. They're going to say all kinds stuff to keep this going, so don't feed them MLB can pretend to investigate other teams all they want, but we all know they want this to go away faster an unwanted rash in their nether regions. So let's go full heel Houston! Screw them! It's us versus all yall mentality from here on out!

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The Astros are back in action Tuesday night, hosting the White Sox. Composite Getty Image.

The Astros are making noise again — not by bludgeoning teams with a powerhouse offense, but by grinding through games and getting elite production from a patched-together pitching staff. It’s a testament to their depth and resilience that they went 4-2 on a tough road trip while averaging just 3.6 runs per game. Even more impressive? The staff allowed just 2.3 runs per game during that stretch.

It’s fair to be impressed. This is a team still missing key pieces and leaning heavily on unproven arms, yet they’ve built a 2.5-game lead over Seattle in the AL West. If the rotation keeps performing like this, that cushion might not just hold through the All-Star break — it could grow.

Houston's pitching has been the great stabilizer. The Astros rank 1st in strikeouts, 9th in ERA, 4th in WHIP, and 2nd in batting average against. The numbers aren’t carried solely by the stars either. Youngsters like Brandon Walter and Colton Gordon have stepped in admirably. Walter has allowed just two runs combined across his first two starts (6 IP and 5 IP), while Gordon has quietly gone five innings in three straight outings, giving up 1, 4, and 3 runs. Ryan Gusto has been inconsistent — failing to get through five innings in his last three starts — but has kept the damage manageable (3, 2, and 2 runs in those outings).

Meanwhile, the top of the rotation has been lights out. Framber Valdez and Hunter Brown have become one of the most dominant 1-2 punches in baseball, and Lance McCullers Jr. is starting to look like a real contributor again. It’s a staff carrying the team while the bats slowly try to catch up.

That offense, while mediocre overall — 15th in OPS, 20th in runs, 19th in homers, and 18th in slugging — has shown signs of life in recent days. Jeremy Peña and Jake Meyers have provided much-needed sparks. Peña is hitting .370 over the past week with an .851 OPS, while Meyers has been even hotter, posting a .381 average and .934 OPS.

The biggest news off the field this week was the potential end of the Forrest Whitley era. The former first-round pick was designated for assignment, a move that answers an early-season question: Who’s more likely to contribute this year — Whitley or McCullers? The answer is now clear.

Whitley’s DFA also serves as a reminder that not even elite GMs like Jeff Luhnow are immune to draft misses.

As the Houston Chronicle's Greg Rajan points out, Luhnow’s final four first-round picks with Houston all fell short: Whitley (2016), J.B. Bukauskas (2017), Seth Beer (2018), and Korey Lee (2019) have yet to become meaningful pieces for any club. The draft remains a gamble — even for the best.

Still, the Astros are finding answers. Despite an offense that’s still searching for consistency, their pitching — both from the top and the bottom of the depth chart — has been dominant. If that continues, this club won't just hold the lead. They’ll have momentum heading into July.

There's so much more to cover! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!

The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday!

*ChatGPT assisted.

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