JOHN GRANATO

So many things are not my job

A lot of things are not people's jobs. Joe Robbins/Getty Images

In the wake of Bill O’Brien’s now famous utterance of “It’s not my job” (and make no mistake about it, this will never leave him, it will always be part of his resume, quite possibly the first thing we think of when we refer to him) I’ve put together a list of jobs people don’t have.

Serena Williams: It’s not my job to not totally lose my mind and create a non-gender issue into one

Baltimore Orioles: It’s not my job to not suck as badly as any team ever.

Nathan Peterman: It’s not my job to be able to play well to last more than a half in a football game

Cleveland Browns: It’s not our job to win the turnover battle by 5 and win the football game.

Cam Newton: It’s not my job to listen to females talkin’ ‘bout routes

Matt Ryan: It’s not my job to throw a touchdown pass to Julio Jones

Jamie Lannister: It’s not my job to not smash my sister

Urban Meyer: It’s not my job to be a decent human being

Nick Saban: (See Urban Meyer)

Ed Orgeron: It’s not my job to speak English

Tom Herman: It’s not my job to beat mediocre programs like Maryland

Alex Bregman: It’s not my job to make an out

Raheel Ramzanali: It’s not my job to dress like a heterosexual male

Del Olaleye: It’s not my job to like people

Joel Blank: It’s not my job to like AJ Hoffman

AJ Hoffman: It’s not my job to keep any thought I have about anyone to myself

John Granato: It’s not my job to stay sober