NO-BRAINER
The perfect choice for Rockets head coach seems undeniably obvious
Jun 12, 2020, 10:43 am
Composite image by Jack Brame.
Last week was a strange mixed bag for Houston Rockets coach Mike D'Antoni.
First NBA Commissioner Adam Silver announced that "certain coaches might not be able to be the bench coaches" when the league resumes play under quarantine at Disney World in late July. And by "certain coaches," he meant senior citizens like D'Antoni, age 69, the second-oldest coach in the NBA, behind only San Antonio Spurs coach Greg Popovich, 71.
Silver continued: "They may have to retain social distancing protocol. Maybe they can be in front of a room, a locker room, or a ball room with a whiteboard, but when it comes to actual play we're not going to want them that close to players in order to protect them."
Funny how someone named "Silver" was telling older people they can't do something.
After some intense brush back, Silver re-thought his stance on putting older coaches in time out. So it looks like D'Antoni, probably with face mask fastened, will be allowed to sit on the bench and pace courtside like a caged tiger when the Rockets head into the playoffs. The games will be played with no fans, but every game will be on TV. You know the drill, "check your local listings" for time and channel.
Then things really went downhill for D'Antoni, whose 4-year contract as Rockets coach expires at the end of this season. Rockets owner Tilman Fertitta praised D'Antoni to the moon, saying, "I think I have one of the NBA's great coaches. Personally I like Mike."
That's scary talk.
General manager Daryl Morey made things much worse by adding, "Mike will be coaching our team (in Orlando). It would be such a huge disadvantage to lose him. We would never stand for that." Morey added, "Coach D'Antoni is one of the best all-time coaches in my opinion. He's one of the great innovators and a great partner. I'd love to keep it going."
Uh-oh. Historically speaking in sports, votes of confidence from owners and general managers means a coach, especially those in the last year of their contract, will be clearing out his office and heading to the unemployment office. (Tip, Line C usually moves faster.)
Here's what the Rockets should do. Get D'Antoni, Fertitta and Morey in a room, lock the door, and nobody leaves until D'Antoni is offered and signs another contract to remain as Rockets coach. A more important "historically speaking" – D'Antoni has the best winning percentage (.687) in team history. The Rockets are 213-97 during his tenure. Morey is right, D'Antoni is of the great innovators in basketball. D'Antoni has some Phil Jackson in him, able to coach ego-driven superstars like James Harden and Russell Westbrook and keep them happy and on the same page.
OK, Chris Paul not so much.
The Rockets are a veteran squad. Their key players, Harden (30), Westbrook (31), P.J. Tucker (35) and Eric Gordon (31) are in the second half of their careers. Their time for a championship is now. The Rockets need a veteran coach with a steady hand, a brilliant basketball mind and experience. That's D'Antoni. To borrow a phrase, D'Antoni is the stable genius suited to guide the Rockets to the promised land, the Larry O'Brien championship trophy. James Harden calls D'Antoni "a real players coach." That's perfect for these Rockets.
Things do, or should, come in threes, Toyota Center needs to hang a third NBA title banner. It's been a long time, a quarter century, since we had a parade downtown for the Rockets.
Should the Rockets triumph in this weird, coronavirus-shortened season, D'Antoni would be the oldest coach in NBA history to win the title. For you trivia buffs, Larry Brown was 63 when he guided the Detroit Pistons to the crown in 2004. Heck, Brown should have won the title, he had enough practice. The Pistons were the seventh NBA team that Brown coached. He coached nine different teams by the time he retired in 2011. He finished with a .548 winning percentage over 27 years. Pretty good.
D'Antoni has coached five teams over 16 seasons. His winning percentage is .557. Even better.
D'Antoni wants to keep coaching a few more years. He still out-thinks most rivals. His mind is sharp. Besides, Prevagen is available without prescription at Walgreen's and Walmarts. The magic ingredient is from jellyfish.
Fun fact: D'Antoni has dual citizenship, the United States and Italy. His grandpop emigrated from Italy to the U.S. in the early 1900s. D'Antoni played 14 seasons (1977-90) with Olimpia Milano in the Italian pro league and became their all-time leading scorer. Olimpia Milano won five Italian league titles and two European championships with D'Antoni as its starting point guard. He can relate to Harden, Westbrook and Green. They respect D'Antoni and listen when he tells them, "Fellas, you gotta share the ball."*
*Does not apply to Harden.
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I left for vacation on April 14. Came back home on April 24. Eleven days in England and Germany.
Astros first baseman Jose Abreu went 0 for my vacation.
The last time Abreu reached base via a real-life hit was April 13 when he got two hits (fully half of his season total) and his batting average soared to a robust .122.
Since then, while I was dining on shepherd’s pie and schnitzel, Abreu has gone hitless in 21 at bats and his batting average has plunged to a squinty .065.
There’s an expression in baseball when a player is having a horrible, dreadful season: “He ain’t hitting his weight.”
Abreu ain’t hitting his uniform number. If you’re keeping score at home, Abreu weighs 250 pounds and wears number 79.
Abreu is chasing history. The record for suckiest single-season batting average for a player with enough plate appearances (502) to qualify for the batting title is held by former Orioles slugger Chris Davis.
In 2018, Davis batted .168. Despite being in the middle of a wildly overpaid 7-year, $161 million contract, the Orioles essentially fired Davis and his career was over in 2020.
Abreu is in the middle year of a guaranteed 3-year, $58.5 million, money down the toilet contract. Will he be an Astro next year when owner Jim Crane chokes on signing yet another $19.5 million paycheck for Abreu? Unlikely.
Other modern era batters have turned in disastrous single-season averages. Dan Uggla batted an unattractive .179 for the Braves in 2013. Rob Deer was a deer in the headlights swatting .179 for the Tigers in 1991.
Abreu is turning futility into an art form. If he continues his .065 pace he will obliterate every record for crummiest season in baseball history.
He has appeared in 19 games and has 4 hits in 62 at bats, with no home runs and one measly RBI. He had his latest oh-fer Tuesday night against the Cubs.
Fans are clamoring for Astros manager Joe Espada to open his eyes, stop looking at the back of Abreu’s baseball and bench the flailing, failing first baseman.
I say the opposite. In fact move him back to fifth in the batting order. If Abreu stays focused on doing what he does best this season - striking out with runners in scoring position - fans can witness the worst batting stats anybody’s ever had.
Oh, by the way, Abreu is a horrible fielding first baseman. We don’t know if he’s a good base runner. He’d have to get on base for us to tell.
Abreu is on pace to get 502 plate appearances. So this counts.
There actually is a player who’s having worse time at the plate than Abreu., though.
Abreu’s meager stats look positively Ruthian compared to what former Astro catcher Martin Maldonado is putting up for the White Sox. Maldy has 2 hits in 42 at bats for a subterranean .048 batting average with no homers and no RBI in 15 games. Maldonado won’t get to 502 plate appearances, however.
Who will end 2024 with a lower batting average: Abreu or Maldonado? This epic battle could go down to the final game of the season.