The Couch Slouch

Olympics, MLB try to get creative in rescheduling

Olympics, MLB try to get creative in rescheduling
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Have you ever tried to reschedule an Olympic Games? Sure, many of us have postponed weddings – and there are at least two I should've canceled altogether – but those are much smaller affairs to manage. The Olympics? That's got to be the biggest event in the world, even larger than a "Duck Dynasty" Easter egg hunt.

Meanwhile…

Have you ever tried to push a Major League Baseball season back into autumn and winter? It's a scheduling and logistical nightmare – too many games to fit into too tight of a calendar – pitchers and fans won't like the weather and, of course, Houston Astros video equipment might freeze over.

So IOC and MLB officials, used to waking up around noon before strolling to the bank with those oversized checks usually reserved for Publishers Clearing House winners, now are scrambling to get their money trains back on track.

I guess the IOC had the less difficult task: It simply plopped the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo into the exact same time frame in 2021.

Ah, if it were only that easy.

So many factors – housing, venues, food services, security, vendors, et al. Do you know how many sporks have to be reordered for the Olympic Village commissary? Those babies just disappear; sporks are always the first item to walk out of the supply closet.

Heck, rebooking flights – airline change fees alone will kill you – is a financial strain.

It's a massive jigsaw puzzle, and every piece must fit. There are 25 or 30 sports, plus golf; you can't just say, "We're all good schedule-wise except for swimming – swimming doesn't work that week, so, okeydokey, we'll drop swimming."

NBC, naturally, will still be there to televise the 2021 version of the 2020 Summer Olympics, but that still leaves a 7,777-hour gaping crater in its schedule this July 24 to Aug. 9.

Sadly, NBC only has three viewable properties: The Olympics, "The Voice" and "America's Got Talent." And, sure, America's got talent, but I don't know if my beloved, beleaguered homeland has enough talent to fill all the network's needs.

(Column Intermission: With everyone corona safer-at-home at the moment, my immediate family is rather tired of hearing my dulcet tones ranting day and night; our pit mix Daisy is the only one who never leaves the room when I'm talking. So I have started the Couch Slouch podcast – for real, folks – available on your favorite podcasting app. Seeking two-legged listeners.)

As for MLB, it is contemplating a lot of less-than-optimal options.

There is still a glimmer of hope for a June 1 or July 1 start, with the possibility of playing initially at empty stadiums – so, for the Miami Marlins, it would be your typical Opening Day.

MLB might use spring training parks in Florida and Arizona, quarantining the teams in those areas and operating with no crowds until the pandemic allows otherwise.

In any compacted scenario, every day is precious, which means…doubleheaders are back, baby! I assume they will still be separate admission because, even though baseball fans will have no money, the 1 percent still needs to make up for lost yachting-and-penthouse revenue.

Speaking of which, super agent Scott Boras – FYI: "super agent" here is a euphemism for "uber-wealthy" – floated a proposal, and since he negotiated ONE BILLION DOLLARS worth of player contracts this offseason, he has considerable financial interest in this.

Boras wants a summer start, and when the temperatures drop in the fall, he points to 11 stadiums that are either domes or warm-weather sites in which postseason games could be played. He envisions a neutral-site World Series, with Game 6 being played on Christmas.

Christmas? The NBA's holiest day? Wow. Maybe they should play Game 7 in Bethlehem.

Various models have 162-game, 144-game or 100-game seasons. Or – here's a thought – they could just skip to the postseason directly; have Joe Lunardi seed the teams 1 to 30, then engage in autumnal March Madness. Call it September Insanity!

My solution? Play the entire season on Strat-O-Matic Baseball: No weather worries and the Astros can't steal signs.

Ask The Slouch

Q. President Trump spoke Saturday with executives from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, WNBA, PGA, LPGA, WWE, NASCAR and others, but the PBA was not included. What gives? (Larry Snider; Seattle)

A. Underground bowling is flourishing. The White House has its own alley – POTUS should try it some time.

Q. Are you going to follow the government's policy and award all the people who write you the $1.25, or just me? (Bruce Kanter; Laurel, Md.)

A. The government's check should cover you.

Q. The Santa Anita Derby has been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic. If the horse wears a mask, why should this be a problem? (Mitchell Shapiro; Rockville, Md.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q. Under the new NFLPA agreement, does gambling revenue include all receipts at what will surely be the Oakland-L.A.-Oakland-Las Vegas Raiders Wedding Chapel? (Victoria Dailey; Alexandria, Va.)

A. Pay the lady, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!


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Cam Smith continues to swing a hot bat! Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images.

The Houston Astros wrapped up yet another series win this week, this time taking two of three from the struggling Colorado Rockies at Coors Field. Despite missing several key players and a bullpen that wasn’t fully available, the Astros continued their recent run of success, pushing their record to 52-35.

Manager Joe Espada appeared to be playing the long game in the rubber match on Thursday. After Houston rallied to tie the game in the seventh inning, Espada stuck with reliever Jordan Weems instead of turning to his high-leverage arms. That decision, while frustrating to some fans hoping for the sweep, underscored the team’s cautious approach to workload management as they navigate a long season.

One bright spot continues to be rookie Cam Smith, who delivered again in the clutch with a two-run triple in the seventh inning on Thursday. Smith has been Houston’s most dependable bat with runners on base and is quickly settling into the cleanup role—a rarity for a first-year player but one he’s earned with his poise and production.

 

Off the field, the biggest storyline continues to be Yordan Alvarez’s injury. After reports surfaced that the slugger had experienced a setback in his return from a fractured hand, the team clarified that the issue is inflammation, not the fracture itself. Astros general manager Dana Brown said Alvarez received injections to address the irritation and is expected to rest for now. Encouragingly, the Astros say the fracture is no longer a concern, and while there’s still no definitive timeline for his return, the overall tone from the club was optimistic.

The transparency around Alvarez’s situation is part of a larger shift. After being criticized in recent seasons for vague injury updates, the Astros have begun issuing daily availability reports. It’s a move that signals the front office is trying to regain some trust with the media and fans after a stretch of frustrating ambiguity around player health.

Now, the Astros head to Los Angeles for a marquee matchup with the defending champion Dodgers. Friday’s opener will feature Lance McCullers Jr. making just his second start since returning from the injured list. McCullers gave up eight runs in his return against the Cubs and will be under the spotlight as he looks to settle back into form. Control will be the key, as walks have long been McCullers’ Achilles’ heel.

Saturday sets the stage for one of the most anticipated pitching matchups of the season: Framber Valdez versus Shohei Ohtani. With both teams fighting for positioning in their respective divisions, this weekend in LA should serve as a measuring stick—and perhaps a postseason preview.

There's so much more to get to! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!

The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday.

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*ChatGPT assisted.

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