BARRY BAD DAY

Barry Laminack: Archie Bradley is not afraid to do the dirty work, apparently

Baseball can be a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. Mark Brown/Getty Images

Archie Bradley is as nasty as they come, but in one particular game this year it wasn’t just his stuff that was filthy.

The Diamondbacks closer joined Tim Brown on the June 26 Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast and told a tale of tragedy, perseverance, and triumph.  

The closer told Brown about a game earlier this year were he had to take the field with boo-boo in his pants.

“I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Bradley said to Yahoo Sports.

“So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually sh-- my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning…”

I see what you did there Archie…

“...and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just sh-- myself.’ They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like ‘Oh my God, you had to see this.'”

(source)

We've all been there. Of course, not all of us happend to do it at work, but at some point in our adult lives everyone has pooped their pants (yes, sharts count).

I feel bad for the guy. I mean, some of us have jobs that afford us the opportunity to delay work while we clear our bowels. While I’m doing radio, I can use the 3-4 minutes between segments to drop the kids off at the pool if I have to. Heck, most of you reading this probably have an office job where you spend upwards of 30 minutes in the bathroom, sometimes several times a day. Many of you might actually be reading this on the toilet right now (thanks for that, by the way).

I do feel bad for the folks that don't have the opportunity to poop at work like construction workers, lawn care folks, and hookers.

I've been there too.

As a stand-up comedian you don't get a break during your set. You’re on stage for sometimes up to 45 minutes to an hour, and if you have to poop in that hour you can't just walk off stage and then come back later and finish the show.

One time earlier this year I was working a club in San Antonio and I had to warn the club manager before I hit the stage that I had the bubble guts and “dooty” might call me at any moment.

I warned that if 5 minutes in to my 30 minutes set he heard me say “well that’s my time goodnight” and saw me run off the stage, to please send the MC back up to continue the show because I’ll do just about anything for a laugh on stage, but sh--ting my pants is on the “won't do” list.

So cut Bradley some slack. Besides, who cares if he pitched one inning with some boo-boo in his pants, Dallas Keuchel has been sh--ting the bed all year.

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Composite image by Jack Brame.

This past weekend James Harden and Russell Westbrook combined for a total of 135 points after two tough wins. The Rockets went up against the Dallas Mavericks and Milwaukee Bucks and because of Westbrook and Harden, they were able to pull off two close wins in the 4th quarter.

Harden recently just surpassed Calvin Murphy for second in all-time scoring for the Houston Rockets. He is now trailing behind only Hakeem Olajuwon. Harden also passed up David Robinson on the all-time scoring list. Making him the all-time scorer for lefties in NBA history.

Besides Harden passing up legends in scoring, he was able to lead the Rockets because of his defense too. Even though Harden had a grand total of 73 points last weekend, he had a total of nine steals but six of them came against the Bucks. Harden had a 118.2 rating against the Mavericks by holding Kristaps Porzingis 1/7 in the post. He also played great defense against Luka Doncic too. Another thing Harden did, was being able to steal the ball from Giannis Antetokounmpo and hold him down for the last two possessions of their matchup. He caused Giannis to turnover the ball by throwing the ball to Danuel House in the corner. That allowed the Rockets close the game out.

James Harden told Kelly Iko of The Athletic his thoughts on his defense.

When Harden got doubled by the Mavericks and in foul trouble against the Bucks, Westbrook was big with 31 points in each game. Westbrook shot 45% from the field by being relentless. He attacked the basket no matter what zone each of those two teams were playing. By Westbrook continuing to attack the basket, he was able to find his teammates out on the perimeter for open shots. This allowed Robert Covington and PJ Tucker to have better looks at the basket. Westbrook's biggest statement was when he made four big free throws to close game out against the Bucks.

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