BARRY BAD DAY

Barry Laminack: Archie Bradley is not afraid to do the dirty work, apparently

Barry Laminack: Archie Bradley is not afraid to do the dirty work, apparently
Baseball can be a dirty job, but someone's got to do it. Mark Brown/Getty Images

Archie Bradley is as nasty as they come, but in one particular game this year it wasn’t just his stuff that was filthy.

The Diamondbacks closer joined Tim Brown on the June 26 Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast and told a tale of tragedy, perseverance, and triumph.  

The closer told Brown about a game earlier this year were he had to take the field with boo-boo in his pants.

“I was warming up to go in a game. I knew I had the next hitter. I knew he was on deck. The at-bat was kinda taking a little bit. As a bullpen guy in these big situations, I call ’em nervous pees, where like I don’t have to pee a lot, but I know I have to pee before I go in the game. I can’t believe I’m telling you this,” Bradley said to Yahoo Sports.

“So it’s a 2-2 count, and I’m like, ‘Man, I have to pee. I have to go pee.’ So I run in our bathroom real quick, I’m ready to go. I’m trying to pee and I actually sh-- my pants. Like right before I’m about to go in the game, I pooped my pants. I’m like ‘Oh my gosh.’ I know I’m a pitch away from going in the game, so I’m scrambling to clean myself up. I get it cleaned up the best I can, button my pants up, and our bullpen coach Mike Fetters says, ‘Hey, you’re in the game.’ So I’m jogging into the game to pitch with poop in my pants essentially.

“It was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been on the mound. And I actually had a good inning. I had a clean inning…”

I see what you did there Archie…

“...and I walked in the dugout and I was like, ‘Guys, I just sh-- myself.’ They didn’t believe me, then the bullpen came in and they’re like ‘Oh my God, you had to see this.'”

(source)

We've all been there. Of course, not all of us happend to do it at work, but at some point in our adult lives everyone has pooped their pants (yes, sharts count).

I feel bad for the guy. I mean, some of us have jobs that afford us the opportunity to delay work while we clear our bowels. While I’m doing radio, I can use the 3-4 minutes between segments to drop the kids off at the pool if I have to. Heck, most of you reading this probably have an office job where you spend upwards of 30 minutes in the bathroom, sometimes several times a day. Many of you might actually be reading this on the toilet right now (thanks for that, by the way).

I do feel bad for the folks that don't have the opportunity to poop at work like construction workers, lawn care folks, and hookers.

I've been there too.

As a stand-up comedian you don't get a break during your set. You’re on stage for sometimes up to 45 minutes to an hour, and if you have to poop in that hour you can't just walk off stage and then come back later and finish the show.

One time earlier this year I was working a club in San Antonio and I had to warn the club manager before I hit the stage that I had the bubble guts and “dooty” might call me at any moment.

I warned that if 5 minutes in to my 30 minutes set he heard me say “well that’s my time goodnight” and saw me run off the stage, to please send the MC back up to continue the show because I’ll do just about anything for a laugh on stage, but sh--ting my pants is on the “won't do” list.

So cut Bradley some slack. Besides, who cares if he pitched one inning with some boo-boo in his pants, Dallas Keuchel has been sh--ting the bed all year.

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Has Christian Walker finally turned the corner? Photo by Alex Slitz/Getty Images.

The Houston Astros return to Daikin Park on Tuesday night looking to keep their momentum going as they host the AL Central-leading Detroit Tigers. First pitch is set for 8:10 p.m. ET, with Ryan Gusto (3-1, 2.78 ERA) on the mound for Houston against Detroit’s Reese Olson (3-1, 3.29 ERA).

Winners of seven of their last ten, the Astros (15-13) have found their rhythm after a rocky start to the season. Their recent surge has been fueled by dominant pitching — a 2.35 ERA over the last 10 games — and improved production at the plate, including a .264 team batting average over that span. Houston has also outscored opponents by 18 runs during that stretch and boasts a solid 10-6 record at home.

While the offense has yet to fully catch fire, signs of life are emerging. Jeremy Peña continues to be a steady presence with five doubles and three homers, while Christian Walker has driven in six runs over his last 10 games, including three long balls. The Astros’ bats will be tested against a Tigers staff that leads the American League with a 2.86 ERA.

Houston’s Tuesday starter, Ryan Gusto, has been sharp through his first five outings, posting a 1.10 WHIP and 23 strikeouts. He’ll look to keep Detroit’s bats quiet, especially red-hot Zach McKinstry, who’s hitting .406 over his last 10 games, and slugger Spencer Torkelson, who already has eight homers this season.

The Tigers (18-11) may sit atop their division, but they’ve struggled away from home, going just 5-8 on the road. The Astros will look to capitalize and even the season series in their second matchup with Detroit.

With the offense trending upward and the pitching staff in a groove, Houston has a prime opportunity to keep building momentum in front of the home crowd.

Here's a sneak peek at the Astros lineup. Altuve is once again batting second after asking manager Joe Espada to move him down in the batting order. Zach Dezenzo is playing right field with Cam Smith getting the night off. Jake Meyers is back in center field and Mauricio Dubon is starting at second base.

Image via: MLB.com/Screenshot

A big test awaits

It appears the Astros may have tipped their hand regarding tomorrow's starting pitcher. Chandler Rome is reporting AJ Blubaugh is at Daikin Park today.

Following Tuesday night's game, Blubaugh has been officially announced as the starter.

Espada said Hayden Wesneski is not injured but needs more time to recover from his last start.

*ChatGPT assisted.

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