JUST SAY NO
No deal: Rockets could be on brink of colossal organizational misstep
Don't think Elias Sports Bureau keeps track of this sort of thing, but Houston has to be the first city weird enough to have two pro sports teams tell their highest-paid stars, under contract for hundreds of millions of dollars, "We know you're not injured, we just don't want you to play for us. You don't even have to show up for games. Don't worry, we'll still pay you."
If media reports are correct, the Houston Rockets are on the verge of trading one of those players, John Wall, to the Philadelphia 76'ers for Ben Simmons, who's threatening to sit out the season unless he's moved to another team.
This would be a trade involving one player whose team refuses to play him for a player who refuses to play for his team.
This would be such a horrible trade for the Rockets it's a miracle it hasn't been made yet. Here's all you need to know about Ben Simmons:
The NBA is a 3-point league and Ben Simmons can't shoot threes. The end.
Not only can't he shoot threes, he won't even attempt them. In his four years as an NBA starter, he's tried only 35 threes and made only five. Five 3-pointers in four years! Steph Curry makes five 3-pointers during the national anthem.
Simmons played 58 games last year, averaging 32 minutes a game. That's fulltime work. He made three of 10 shots from long range. His career 3-point percentage is 14.7 percent.
Simmons' refusal to shoot 3-pointers, and miss the ones he does try on rare occasions, is an occupational hazard the Rockets can't afford this year. Simmons is a 6-ft. 11 point guard, unique in the NBA. Unique isn't always a good thing. Jerry Seinfeld once convinced Babu Bhatt to open a Pakistani restaurant, said it would be unique on the Manhattan's upper west side. Yadda, yadda, Babu wound up getting deported.
This is why owners should hire 10-year-olds as general managers. Kids don't need a stat sheet to know who can play and who can't. A child can watch Ben Simmons play a season, single-handedly stink up a playoff series, mope around the locker room, pass up open shots, have his work ethic questioned, demand to be traded, and know that Simmons isn't what the Houston Rockets need.
He's 25 years old and still isn't sure if he's right-handed or left-handed?
With his team's season on the line in the playoffs, Simmons shot 25 for 73 … from the free throw line! Over a seven-game series, which the 76'ers lost, he took only three shots in the fourth quarter when the chips were down.
Sorry, Houston already has a "Clutch" comedy figure.