4th and a mile with Paul Muth
Help me sound cool: A Super Bowl guide for the casual fan
Feb 5, 2021, 12:50 pm
Tom Brady is looking to win his 7th Super Bowl. Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images.
If you've been counting down the days until February 7th, 2021, this string of text probably isn't for you.
If you're...a little less invested...you've come to the right place.
This is and has always been a primer for those that just need a little backstory before the game. I've made a career off of faking it until I make it, so I'm just here to pay it forward.
This is what you forward to your friends that heard there was going to be a party in early February, but just now realized that it was a football thing.
Let's go.
What's going on
The Super Bowl, no need to act that naive.
Who's playing?
The Kansas City Chiefs versus the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Help me sound cool
The Kansas City Chiefs are looking for the first back to back Super Bowl Championship since 2004. Guess who won it?
The dude quarterbacking the team they're facing, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Who's quarterbacking the Bucs? (yes that's how it's abbreviated)
Tom Brady. The Uggs spokesman. Gisele Bündchen's less successful spouse. Also the most successful quarterback in NFL history. Look him up.
He's a good looking dude.
FOCUS.
What about the other quarterback?
Patrick Mahomes? Well he went to Texas Tech, he's already a league MVP, Super Bowl champion, Super Bowl MVP and he's only 25. He also throws no-look passes like a robot and sounds like Kermit the Frog.
What about the rest of the Chiefs?
You'll hear the name Tyreek Hill a lot. He's the fastest man on the planet. I think. His nickname is "Cheetah," which means a lot considering that professionally fast people gave him a fast nickname.
On defense look for a guy named Tyrann Matthieu. His nickname is "The Honey Badger," which is just cool as hell. He's from LSU, and he used to play for the Texans. Since he left Houston, the Texans have finished the past two seasons with one of the worst rated pass defenses in all of football.
Seems like a guy worth keeping around, but I digress.
Sure, ok. What about the Bucs?
Watch for Mike Evans. He's a giant wide receiver who's basically a basketball player that just jumps over everyone and catches everything. He's an A&M alum, and is so unabashedly Texan that he catered Whataburger at his wedding. You can't root against that, unless you're from California or something.
On defense look for Devin White. Well, you won't have to. He'll make himself known.
Anything else?
Tampa Bay is the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium. Oh, and Tom Brady is 700 years old.
So who wins?
Vegas has the Chiefs favored, and they should. But I've learned over the past 20 years to never--ever--bet against Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr.
Ever.
I call 31-27 Bucs, because I want to see Rob Gronkowski do Rob Gronkowski things.
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It’s May 1, and the Astros are turning heads—but not for the reasons anyone expected. Their resurgence, driven not by stars like Yordan Alvarez or Christian Walker, but by a cast of less-heralded names, is writing a strange and telling early-season story.
Christian Walker, brought in to add middle-of-the-order thump, has yet to resemble the feared hitter he was in Arizona. Forget the narrative of a slow starter—he’s never looked like this in April. Through March and April of 2025, he’s slashing a worrying .196/.277/.355 with a .632 OPS. Compare that to the same stretch in 2024, when he posted a .283 average, .496 slug, and a robust .890 OPS, and it becomes clear: this is something more than rust. Even in 2023, his April numbers (.248/.714 OPS) looked steadier.
What’s more troubling than the overall dip is when it’s happening. Walker is faltering in the biggest moments. With runners in scoring position, he’s hitting just .143 over 33 plate appearances, including 15 strikeouts. The struggles get even more glaring with two outs—.125 average, .188 slugging, and a .451 OPS in 19 such plate appearances. In “late and close” situations, when the pressure’s highest, he’s practically disappeared: 1-for-18 with a .056 average and a .167 OPS.
His patience has waned (only 9 walks so far, compared to 20 by this time last year), and for now, his presence in the lineup feels more like a placeholder than a pillar.
The contrast couldn’t be clearer when you look at José Altuve—long the engine of this franchise—who, in 2024, delivered in the moments Walker is now missing. With two outs and runners in scoring position, Altuve hit .275 with an .888 OPS. In late and close situations, he thrived with a .314 average and .854 OPS. That kind of situational excellence is missing from this 2025 squad—but someone else may yet step into that role.
And yet—the Astros are winning. Not because of Walker, but in spite of him.
Houston’s offense, in general, hasn’t lit up the leaderboard. Their team OPS ranks 23rd (.667), their slugging 25th (.357), and they sit just 22nd in runs scored (117). They’re 26th in doubles, a rare place for a team built on gap-to-gap damage.
But where there’s been light, it hasn’t come from the usual spots. Jeremy Peña, often overshadowed in a lineup full of stars, now boasts the team’s highest OPS at .791 (Isaac Paredes is second in OPS) and is flourishing in his new role as the leadoff hitter. Peña’s balance of speed, contact, aggression, and timely power has given Houston a surprising tone-setter at the top.
Even more surprising: four Astros currently have more home runs than Yordan Alvarez.
And then there’s the pitching—Houston’s anchor. The rotation and bullpen have been elite, ranking 5th in ERA (3.23), 1st in WHIP (1.08), and 4th in batting average against (.212). In a season where offense is lagging and clutch hits are rare, the arms have made all the difference.
For now, it’s the unexpected contributors keeping Houston afloat. Peña’s emergence. A rock-solid pitching staff. Role players stepping up in quiet but crucial ways. They’re not dominating, but they’re grinding—and in a sluggish AL West, that may be enough.
Walker still has time to find his swing. He showed some signs of life against Toronto and Detroit. If he does, the Astros could become dangerous. If he doesn’t, the turnaround we’re witnessing will be credited to a new cast of unlikely faces. And maybe, that’s the story that needed to be written.
We have so much more to discuss. Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday!
*ChatGPT assisted.
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