FALCON POINTS
Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche
Oct 16, 2019, 6:54 am
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Sports might be the worst when it comes to cliches. Fans and broadcasters alike can't help themselves.
Defense wins championships.
It doesn't get any better than this.
The best defense is a good offense.
One game at a time.
No I in team.
It is what it is.
Then there is my personal favorite, "you guys have a face for radio. When was the last time you heard that?"
Um, yesterday, and 11 other times this week. But yes, you are very creative!
These and many more are all lame. They are lazy. They are dumb.
And then there is the worst one of all:
Houston, we have a problem.
Or, the derivative, Houston, you have a problem.
Memo to fans in other cities: It is time to retire this phrase. Memo to announcers (including the Fox announcer who used it Sunday night) and worse yet, headline writers: You are pathetic and about as creative as a rock.
And if you are from Houston and have used it, delete your Twitter account immediately and pray for forgiveness. You are what we affectionately call a "dumb."
How stale is it? The phrase comes from an Apollo mission (that's space flight, which our country once did) message in the 1960s. That's SIXTIES. It was clever 50 years ago. Yet a quick Twitter search for the phrase yielded thousands of results. A google search? How about 281 MILLION results. So if you use it, you aren't even one in a million. You are one in 281 million. But that makes you clever and creative, right? If we are going to use phrases from the 1960s, how about "make love not war?" Or better yet, "we all live in a yellow submarine?"
Rest assured, there will be fan signs in Indianapolis this week, as there always are. Yankees fans will do it, too. (Although because it's New York, the signs will likely be misspelled. Or it will be "youse" have a problem).
First off, if you make signs for sporting events and are over the age of 12, you have your own issues. But do people really sit around and think, "hey, you know what would be clever?"
The real shame? Houston sports teams have no shortage of targets for clever phrases. You could write a book on Bill O'Brien alone. James Harden is just begging to be made fun of by anyone. Even the Astros have plenty of players to go after.
Houston fans collectively groan every time they hear the phrase. And they hear or see it A LOT. Public service announcement: It makes you look silly, boring and yes, dumb.
So if you are thinking about tweeting it, stop yourself. If you are diligently working on a sign, stop it. YOU are the problem.
And if you are an announcer? Go back to calling junior high school games.
It's also incumbent on the rest of us to stop this menace in our lifetime. If you see something, say something. Send them a shame bell. Or better yet, a link to this story.
Then again, it is what it is.
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Lance McCullers Jr. finally got some peace of mind on Tuesday night.
The Astros right-hander pitched six scoreless innings to get his first win since Sept. 21, 2022, as Houston beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 3-0. McCullers missed the 2023 and 2024 seasons because of injuries and had not won in five starts this year since being activated from the injured list on May 4.
Lance McCullers Jr.'s stuff was nasty tonight 😮💨 pic.twitter.com/ZjzZTDJZkl
— MLB (@MLB) June 4, 2025
McCullers (1-1) struck out seven and walked one while outdueling Pirates ace Paul Skenes, who gave up one run — on a solo homer by Christian Walker in the seventh — in eight innings.
“It took a while, but we got there,” McCullers said of getting the win. “I’m just happy that I’m kind of back in the mix with the guys, and I’m able to give them legitimate opportunities to win.”
McCullers was also happy to have a difficult off-field situation behind him.
A drunken bettor who made online death threats aimed at McCullers’ family lives overseas and told Houston police he was sorry for what he had done, a department spokesperson said Monday.
McCullers received the threats on social media directed at his children after a poor start against the Cincinnati Reds on May 10 in which he allowed seven runs while recording only one out.
The Astros said Houston police and MLB security were notified. McCullers and his wife Kara have two young daughters. Astros owner Jim Crane hired 24-hour security for them.
Police public information officer Erika Ramirez said the man who made the threats was identified during an investigation. Because no charges have been filed, police are not disclosing his identity or where he lives.
“I don’t want to keep on about it, but a lot of thanks go to the Astros, the Astros security, Jim Crane, MLB security, my teammates, the HPD,” McCullers said. “Having resolution is nice. Not being close to Houston is nice. The fans are super supportive, too, and I appreciate that. It’s good that it’s behind us and our family feels safe again.”
The man told police that he would like to apologize to McCullers for the threats. McCullers said he would accept.
“As a follower of Christ and called to love our neighbor and forgive, I would be open to that,” he said.