FALCON POINTS
Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche
Oct 16, 2019, 6:54 am
FALCON POINTS
Sports might be the worst when it comes to cliches. Fans and broadcasters alike can't help themselves.
Defense wins championships.
It doesn't get any better than this.
The best defense is a good offense.
One game at a time.
No I in team.
It is what it is.
Then there is my personal favorite, "you guys have a face for radio. When was the last time you heard that?"
Um, yesterday, and 11 other times this week. But yes, you are very creative!
These and many more are all lame. They are lazy. They are dumb.
And then there is the worst one of all:
Houston, we have a problem.
Or, the derivative, Houston, you have a problem.
Memo to fans in other cities: It is time to retire this phrase. Memo to announcers (including the Fox announcer who used it Sunday night) and worse yet, headline writers: You are pathetic and about as creative as a rock.
And if you are from Houston and have used it, delete your Twitter account immediately and pray for forgiveness. You are what we affectionately call a "dumb."
How stale is it? The phrase comes from an Apollo mission (that's space flight, which our country once did) message in the 1960s. That's SIXTIES. It was clever 50 years ago. Yet a quick Twitter search for the phrase yielded thousands of results. A google search? How about 281 MILLION results. So if you use it, you aren't even one in a million. You are one in 281 million. But that makes you clever and creative, right? If we are going to use phrases from the 1960s, how about "make love not war?" Or better yet, "we all live in a yellow submarine?"
Rest assured, there will be fan signs in Indianapolis this week, as there always are. Yankees fans will do it, too. (Although because it's New York, the signs will likely be misspelled. Or it will be "youse" have a problem).
First off, if you make signs for sporting events and are over the age of 12, you have your own issues. But do people really sit around and think, "hey, you know what would be clever?"
The real shame? Houston sports teams have no shortage of targets for clever phrases. You could write a book on Bill O'Brien alone. James Harden is just begging to be made fun of by anyone. Even the Astros have plenty of players to go after.
Houston fans collectively groan every time they hear the phrase. And they hear or see it A LOT. Public service announcement: It makes you look silly, boring and yes, dumb.
So if you are thinking about tweeting it, stop yourself. If you are diligently working on a sign, stop it. YOU are the problem.
And if you are an announcer? Go back to calling junior high school games.
It's also incumbent on the rest of us to stop this menace in our lifetime. If you see something, say something. Send them a shame bell. Or better yet, a link to this story.
Then again, it is what it is.
Jeremy Peña and Christian Walker each hit a three-run homer, and the Houston Astros outslugged the Baltimore Orioles 10-7 on Friday night.
A little something to make your day better pic.twitter.com/whwYikHwx2
— Houston Astros (@astros) August 22, 2025
Colton Cowser went deep for Baltimore, but the Orioles couldn’t pull this game out despite twice cutting a four-run deficit to one.
Steven Okert (2-2) got the win in relief for Houston, and the Astros — who are without injured closer Josh Hader and lefty reliever Bennett Sousa — held on. Houston signed veteran reliever Craig Kimbrel and he was with the team, but the AL West-leading Astros didn’t use him. Bryan Abreu struck out four to end the game and get his second save.
Rookie catcher Samuel Basallo, who agreed to an eight-year, $67 million contract before the game, did not start for the Orioles, but entered as a pinch hitter in the seventh and tagged out a runner at the plate the following inning.
Peña’s drive to left capped a four-run third that included two Baltimore errors. Jeremiah Jackson’s two-run double made it 4-3 in the fourth, but after Orioles starter Cade Povich (2-7) was pulled with two outs in the fifth, Yennier Cano came on and immediately gave up Walker’s homer.
The Orioles trailed 7-6 after Cowser’s solo shot in the seventh, but pinch-hitter Victor Caratini’s two-run double in the eighth made it a three-run game, and Peña’s comebacker bounced off reliever Corbin Martin and into shallow right-center field for an RBI double.
Orioles infielder Vimael Machín hit a solo homer in the eighth in his first big league plate appearance since 2022.
Houston starter Lance McCullers Jr. allowed three runs in four innings after coming off the injured list (right finger blister).
Jackson nearly made a diving catch on Caratini’s hit with two outs in the eighth, but once the ball got past him in right, two runs scored to make it 9-6.
Adding some insurance! pic.twitter.com/wKoPuHmenr
— Houston Astros (@astros) August 23, 2025
The Astros improved to 15-8 in games in which their opponent starts a left-handed pitcher.
Cristian Javier (1-1) starts for Houston on Saturday night against Dean Kremer (9-9) of the Orioles.