FALCON POINTS

Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche

Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche
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Sports might be the worst when it comes to cliches. Fans and broadcasters alike can't help themselves.

Defense wins championships.

It doesn't get any better than this.

The best defense is a good offense.

One game at a time.

No I in team.

It is what it is.

Then there is my personal favorite, "you guys have a face for radio. When was the last time you heard that?"

Um, yesterday, and 11 other times this week. But yes, you are very creative!

These and many more are all lame. They are lazy. They are dumb.

And then there is the worst one of all:

Houston, we have a problem.

Or, the derivative, Houston, you have a problem.

Memo to fans in other cities: It is time to retire this phrase. Memo to announcers (including the Fox announcer who used it Sunday night) and worse yet, headline writers: You are pathetic and about as creative as a rock.

And if you are from Houston and have used it, delete your Twitter account immediately and pray for forgiveness. You are what we affectionately call a "dumb."

How stale is it? The phrase comes from an Apollo mission (that's space flight, which our country once did) message in the 1960s. That's SIXTIES. It was clever 50 years ago. Yet a quick Twitter search for the phrase yielded thousands of results. A google search? How about 281 MILLION results. So if you use it, you aren't even one in a million. You are one in 281 million. But that makes you clever and creative, right? If we are going to use phrases from the 1960s, how about "make love not war?" Or better yet, "we all live in a yellow submarine?"

Rest assured, there will be fan signs in Indianapolis this week, as there always are. Yankees fans will do it, too. (Although because it's New York, the signs will likely be misspelled. Or it will be "youse" have a problem).

First off, if you make signs for sporting events and are over the age of 12, you have your own issues. But do people really sit around and think, "hey, you know what would be clever?"

The real shame? Houston sports teams have no shortage of targets for clever phrases. You could write a book on Bill O'Brien alone. James Harden is just begging to be made fun of by anyone. Even the Astros have plenty of players to go after.

Houston fans collectively groan every time they hear the phrase. And they hear or see it A LOT. Public service announcement: It makes you look silly, boring and yes, dumb.

So if you are thinking about tweeting it, stop yourself. If you are diligently working on a sign, stop it. YOU are the problem.

And if you are an announcer? Go back to calling junior high school games.

It's also incumbent on the rest of us to stop this menace in our lifetime. If you see something, say something. Send them a shame bell. Or better yet, a link to this story.

Then again, it is what it is.

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Lance McCullers returns to the Astros rotation on Sunday. Composite Getty Image.

Lance McCullers Jr is to start Sunday for the Houston Astros against the Chicago White Sox in his first major league appearance since Game 3 of the 2022 World Series in Philadelphia.

“I’m really excited to have him on the mound on Sunday,” Astros manager Joe Espada said Wednesday. “He’s worked his tail off to get back to this point, and this whole entire team and this city should be excited to get Lance back.”

An All-Star in 2018, McCullers had surgery on June 13, 2023, to repair his right flexor tendon and to remove a bone spur. The 31-year-old right-hander threw a bullpen session last June but had a setback and was shut down for the year. He has made four minor league rehab starts this year, allowing four runs and 10 hits over 12 2/3 innings with 16 strikeouts and six walks.

In his last appearance, he struck out seven in five shutout innings for Double-A Corpus Christi on Saturday.

“My last two outings I’ve felt really good, my stuff has been pretty crisp,” McCullers said.

He is 49-32 with a 3.48 ERA in seven seasons, all with Houston. McCullers first injured his flexor tendon while pitching on short rest during the 2021 AL Division Series. He missed the first four months of the 2022 season.

“Been waiting for it for a long time,” McCullers said. “Almost feel like I’m making my debut in some aspects, but it’s been a really long road for me.”

McCullers has missed three full seasons since making his major league debut in 2015.

“It would’ve been a pretty sad ending to my story,” McCullers said.

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