BEAT IT!
Hey Astros: keep this $@&! as far away from your team as possible!
Nov 10, 2022, 11:21 am
Fans showed up to see the Astros, not them. Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images.
Dear Astros owner Jim Crane and everybody who’s minding the store at Houston City Hall.
Next time the Astros win the World Series, which should be next year and several years after that, let’s not invite politicians to ride down Smith Street in the team’s victory celebration.
Let’s say there were 2 million people downtown for the Astros parade. Hey, I’ll go with 2 million when it helps my point. You know how many went to the parade to watch Lt. Governor Dan Patrick flash his toothy grin from a float?
In the words of George Costanza … absolute zero!
Patrick has been accused of being tone-deaf, but even he had to hear people boo him like he was a back-and-white movie villain tying the town’s pretty librarian to the railroad tracks.
Same for Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo and every politician glomming off the Astros’ popularity and success. Nobody cares about you sidling up to the Astros.
Then there was Sen. Ted Cruz, smiling like he was Santa Claus at the end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Except people usually don’t boo, shoot the finger and hurl a full can of White Claw at St. Nick.
I watched all this and thought, don’t these politicians have a shred of self-awareness, an ounce of dignity?
We vote for you, well, at polling places that remember to stock up on ballots, to fill our potholes and fix downtown street lights when they’re flashing red in all directions, and you can’t even do that right. We do not want you riding in the Astros parade and thinking it’s all right to steal the limelight from our World Series champions.
We love the Astros. We tolerate you, and just barely. Next time a Houston team wins a title, maybe UH in this season’s Final Four, you should stay home or fly to Cancun.
I heard more jeering for Cruz at the parade than when the Iron Sheik spit on the American flag at WrestleMania.
When Hidalgo began tweeting congratulations to the Astros during their playoff run, the comments were not exactly supportive: “First game all year, huh?” “Jumping on the bandwagon?” “Aren’t you embarrassed?”
The parade crowd’s vitriol hit 11 when Cruz came into sight. The reaction to Cruz weeks ago in Yankee Stadium was brutal: “Racist!” “You piece of garbage!” “Go home you a—hole.” But that was tame to what Houston fans threw at him - in addition to that can.
Cruz has become a heel wrestler. The more people yell insults at him, the more he seems to enjoy it. Strange.
I heard someone say, “They need to lay off Ted. He’s got his daughters here with him.” Think maybe he was using his kids as props to keep the natives restful?
Wouldn’t have been the first time he used his daughters to take his heat.
Here’s some advice for Cruz and every politician who gravy-trains off popular sports teams.
Read the room.
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The Houston Astros kick off a pivotal weekend series against the Boston Red Sox on Friday night at Fenway Park — and they'll do so with a familiar face back in the lineup. Carlos Correa, reacquired in a stunning trade deadline move on Thursday, is set to make his return to the Astros and will hit cleanup in his first game back with the team that drafted him No. 1 overall in 2012.
Correa rejoins a Houston club that sits atop the AL West at 62-47 and is coming off a resounding 9-1 win over Washington on Wednesday, fueled by Jose Altuve’s four-hit performance. The Astros are 27-23 on the road and enter Friday with the fourth-best on-base percentage in the American League (.321).
The Red Sox, meanwhile, have won six of their last 10 games and hold a 34-21 record at home. Boston enters the weekend third in the competitive AL East at 59-51. Outfielder Jarren Duran has been a spark plug, hitting .265 with 29 doubles and 12 triples on the year.
Houston will send right-hander Hunter Brown (9-5) to the mound, while Boston will counter with RHP Cooper Criswell (1-0).
Friday marks the first meeting of the season between these two clubs.
All eyes will be on Correa’s return in a stadium where he’s delivered countless postseason moments. Now, he begins the next chapter of his Astros career, joining a team counting on him to help fuel their playoff push.
Starting lineup
So how will Joe Espada deploy his new toys? Pena is back at shortstop and leading off, with Altuve hitting second and serving as the DH. Jesus Sanchez gets his first Astros, start hitting third, and playing left field. Correa begins his Astros reunion hitting fourth and playing third base.
Big night in Beantown.
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— Houston Astros (@astros) August 1, 2025
Yainer Diaz (C) will hit fifth, followed by Christian Walker (1B), and Taylor Trammell (CF). It's interesting to see Cam Smith hitting so far down the lineup at eighth. He'll play right field and finally, Mauricio Dubon will hit ninth and play second base.
Betting odds
BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Astros -134, Red Sox +113; over/under is 8 runs
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