BEAT IT!
Hey Astros: keep this $@&! as far away from your team as possible!
Nov 10, 2022, 11:21 am
Fans showed up to see the Astros, not them. Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images.
Dear Astros owner Jim Crane and everybody who’s minding the store at Houston City Hall.
Next time the Astros win the World Series, which should be next year and several years after that, let’s not invite politicians to ride down Smith Street in the team’s victory celebration.
Let’s say there were 2 million people downtown for the Astros parade. Hey, I’ll go with 2 million when it helps my point. You know how many went to the parade to watch Lt. Governor Dan Patrick flash his toothy grin from a float?
In the words of George Costanza … absolute zero!
Patrick has been accused of being tone-deaf, but even he had to hear people boo him like he was a back-and-white movie villain tying the town’s pretty librarian to the railroad tracks.
Same for Harris County Judge Lina Hidalgo and every politician glomming off the Astros’ popularity and success. Nobody cares about you sidling up to the Astros.
Then there was Sen. Ted Cruz, smiling like he was Santa Claus at the end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Except people usually don’t boo, shoot the finger and hurl a full can of White Claw at St. Nick.
I watched all this and thought, don’t these politicians have a shred of self-awareness, an ounce of dignity?
We vote for you, well, at polling places that remember to stock up on ballots, to fill our potholes and fix downtown street lights when they’re flashing red in all directions, and you can’t even do that right. We do not want you riding in the Astros parade and thinking it’s all right to steal the limelight from our World Series champions.
We love the Astros. We tolerate you, and just barely. Next time a Houston team wins a title, maybe UH in this season’s Final Four, you should stay home or fly to Cancun.
I heard more jeering for Cruz at the parade than when the Iron Sheik spit on the American flag at WrestleMania.
When Hidalgo began tweeting congratulations to the Astros during their playoff run, the comments were not exactly supportive: “First game all year, huh?” “Jumping on the bandwagon?” “Aren’t you embarrassed?”
The parade crowd’s vitriol hit 11 when Cruz came into sight. The reaction to Cruz weeks ago in Yankee Stadium was brutal: “Racist!” “You piece of garbage!” “Go home you a—hole.” But that was tame to what Houston fans threw at him - in addition to that can.
Cruz has become a heel wrestler. The more people yell insults at him, the more he seems to enjoy it. Strange.
I heard someone say, “They need to lay off Ted. He’s got his daughters here with him.” Think maybe he was using his kids as props to keep the natives restful?
Wouldn’t have been the first time he used his daughters to take his heat.
Here’s some advice for Cruz and every politician who gravy-trains off popular sports teams.
Read the room.
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The Houston Astros wrapped up yet another series win this week, this time taking two of three from the struggling Colorado Rockies at Coors Field. Despite missing several key players and a bullpen that wasn’t fully available, the Astros continued their recent run of success, pushing their record to 52-35.
Manager Joe Espada appeared to be playing the long game in the rubber match on Thursday. After Houston rallied to tie the game in the seventh inning, Espada stuck with reliever Jordan Weems instead of turning to his high-leverage arms. That decision, while frustrating to some fans hoping for the sweep, underscored the team’s cautious approach to workload management as they navigate a long season.
One bright spot continues to be rookie Cam Smith, who delivered again in the clutch with a two-run triple in the seventh inning on Thursday. Smith has been Houston’s most dependable bat with runners on base and is quickly settling into the cleanup role—a rarity for a first-year player but one he’s earned with his poise and production.
Astros cleanup hitter RBIs this season:
Cam Smith: 10 RBIs in 7 games
All others: 28 RBIs in 80 games
— Matt Kawahara (@matthewkawahara) July 3, 2025
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The transparency around Alvarez’s situation is part of a larger shift. After being criticized in recent seasons for vague injury updates, the Astros have begun issuing daily availability reports. It’s a move that signals the front office is trying to regain some trust with the media and fans after a stretch of frustrating ambiguity around player health.
Now, the Astros head to Los Angeles for a marquee matchup with the defending champion Dodgers. Friday’s opener will feature Lance McCullers Jr. making just his second start since returning from the injured list. McCullers gave up eight runs in his return against the Cubs and will be under the spotlight as he looks to settle back into form. Control will be the key, as walks have long been McCullers’ Achilles’ heel.
Saturday sets the stage for one of the most anticipated pitching matchups of the season: Framber Valdez versus Shohei Ohtani. With both teams fighting for positioning in their respective divisions, this weekend in LA should serve as a measuring stick—and perhaps a postseason preview.
There's so much more to get to! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday.
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