WINNER, WINNER!
Here's a fun outside-the-box plan to cash in betting football this weekend
Sep 23, 2022, 10:19 am
Looking to place some bets this weekend? Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images.
How Houston Texans could be witnessing a turning of the tide at key position
Are you lonely? There’s no need to answer those blurbs online for “old-fashioned” Russian women looking to marry American men. Sure they “know how to respect their husbands and treat them like kings,” but who knows what will get off that plane when you greet the new Mrs. You. She may not look like that picture in the ad.
Here’s a better, safer way to find companionship. And I guarantee this new friend will stick with you longer than throwing a long distance Hail Mary for love. Unfortunately, this method may end up wiping out your 401k just the same.
If you listen to one of those weekend radio shows where sports betting hustlers tell you, “Call my toll-free number for a recorded message with our free picks this weekend” – and you think you’re getting something for free – you’re wrong. Once you make that call, they’ve got your number, and there’s nothing, certainly not call blocking or FCC regulations outlawing spam calls (yeah, those work) that will stop them from calling you till death do you part. You’ll have an easier time getting rid of a time share in Galveston.
I have a better way. You want to make money betting football? Listen to my friend Oreste San Juan’s weekly picks.
And bet the other way.
Let me tell you about Oreste. I’ve known this guy a long time, I used to work with him. He’s one of our gang. He likes to bet football.
Trouble is, he’s the worst bettor in the world. He’s horrible. Last week, he played a 5-team parlay. All five of his teams lost. You realized that’s as mathematically unlikely as picking five winners, right?
If he bets $100 on a parlay and loses all five games, what happens if you bet the other way? Here’s what - $759 for a tidy profit of $659.
It’s like Oreste is giving away free money. Think of Sundays as “Opposite Day,” – the opposite of Oreste. You know how pro sports “investment advisors” brag they have a “documented 90 percent win rate?” That’s a bunch of crap, of course. Oreste is honest - “I can’t remember the last time I had a winning year!”
If he loses and you go the other way, you don’t have to be Ed “The Professor” Horowitz to know this is a solid system. It’s like buying short in the stock market without worrying about your guy running back a certain Pick 6 for the win but he drops the ball on the 1-yard-line like an idiot.
Here’s how successful Oreste is in the sports speculation maelstrom. Monday through Friday, working 9 to 5, he is very successful, probably makes more money than the rest of us. He stinks on weekends, that’s all. When the boys go to McDonald’s, he’ll ask if I have any coupons for half-off Big Macs. A few summers ago, a bunch of went to Europe and rode all-night trains from country to country. One night he was in the top bunk over me. At 5 a.m., I heard him yell “&*$%$!” He stayed up till dawn listening to Monday Night Football on Armed Forces Radio and he lost on a last-second field goal.
We were on a bus in Warsaw and Oreste had his phone up to his ear. He was listening to a college football game. He was oblivious to the world. A passenger tapped him on his shoulder. “That guy just stole your wallet and ran off the bus.” Oreste spent the rest of that day at the U.S. Embassy trying to get a copy of his passport.
Enough selling the Oreste San Juan Plan for Prosperity. Here are his four NFL picks for Week 3. Remember, go the opposite way.
He likes the Bears (-3) over the Texans.
He likes the Chief (-6) at the Colts.
He likes the Bengals (-5) at the J-E-T-S.
He loves, loves, loves Buccaneers (-1) over the Packers.
See you at the pay window.
Most Popular
SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome
Listen Live
How Hunter Brown's impact on the Astros sparks a fresh perspective
Jul 26, 2024, 2:42 pm
With Tuesday’s trade deadline fast approaching, the Astros will look to add the necessary pieces to sustain their recent winning ways and make another playoff run this season.
It's no secret Houston is in need of rotation help with players such as J.P. France, Cristian Javier and Jose Urquidy all needing season-ending surgeries. Even considering the presumptive returns of Justin Verlander and Luis Garcia in some capacity, it would behoove the Astros to acquire more pitching options to help solidify their rotation.
General manager Dana Brown has made it clear he will be looking to add both starting pitchers and players who can play first base.
Astros fans should expect their team to make a move or two by Tuesday’s deadline, just as they have done in years past.
Zach Eflin
Recent reports suggest the Astros are one of several teams interested in Rays’ pitcher Zach Eflin who has a 5-7 record and 4.09 ERA this season.
The 30-year-old signed a three-year, $40 million deal with the Rays prior to the 2023 season and would be an affordable option for the Astros if they were to acquire him.
Although the Rays have a 52-51 record, it doesn't seem like they will become buyers at the trade deadline and could sell off some of their pieces while staying competitive.
Historically speaking, Tampa Bay has never been afraid to let their higher level pitchers go as they did with Blake Snell prior to the 2021 season and Tyler Glasnow during this past offseason
The Rays have multiple pitchers returning from injuries and can afford to let someone like Eflin go.
The only pause the Astros might have is the asking price in return from the Rays. If this is the case, there are other short-term pitching options the Astros could look to instead.
Jack Flaherty
The Tigers are stuck in the middle between good and bad and don’t seem to be playoff contenders this season, making them an ideal candidate to become sellers at the trade deadline.
One of the biggest names on the trading block recently has been Jack Flaherty who has a 7-5 record with a 2.92 ERA and 133 strikeouts this season.
Considering he's a free agent at the end of the year, it shouldn’t cost the Astros much in return to acquire the Tigers' pitcher.
Houston has not been directly linked to the 28-year-old, but he could be a low-risk, high-reward rotation piece.
Flaherty could be a perfect number 3 or 4 option in the rotation behind Framber Valdez, Ronel Blanco and Hunter Brown.
Yusei Kikuchi
Similarly to Flaherty, Yusei Kikuchi is on a Blue Jays team with little to no playoff hopes this year and is set to become a free agent at the end of this season.
Toronto has already hinted at becoming sellers at the trade deadline and could look to offset many of their impending free agents.
Kikuchi’s record at 4-9 and 4.54 ERA might not be impressive, but he does have 133 strikeouts this season and can be a reliable back end of the rotation piece for the Astros if acquired.
Adding a starting pitcher is certainly a priority, but Houston will also scour the market for first base options as well.
Isaac Paredes
The Astros have been connected to Rays’ infielder Isaac Parades in the last few days and it seems to make sense for both sides.
As mentioned earlier, Tampa Bay is in an interesting situation this season and could become pseudo sellers by the deadline.
The Rays have a plethora of infielders in their origination and can afford to trade someone like Parades and still remain competitive.
The 25-year-old can play first or third base, and has been used as a designated hitter this season as well. Parades has a slash line of .250/.353 /.797 and could be an improvement at first base over Jon Singleton.
Acquiring him could be affordable as his salary is only $3.4MM this year. Parades has three additional years of club control, and his defensive versatility could make him a perfect long-term addition to this Astros’ roster.
Brent Rooker
This one might be a stretch, but would it be shocking to see the A’s let go of one of their best players? The answer is no. Brent Rooker has had a remarkable season, hitting near .300 and becoming one of Oakland’s most consistent bats in their lineup.
The 29-year-old has been the A’s primary designated hitter this season, but has the ability to play both corner outfield positions as well.
Even though Houston doesn't need another DH/outfielder, Rooker's bat would be an upgrade in the lineup and could give the Astros another weapon to add to their offensive arsenal.
Although not as likely as the other candidates mentioned, Rooker would be a more realistic and cheaper option to acquire than someone like Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
Honorable Mentions
Starting pitchers Jameson Taillon (Cubs) and Erick Fedde (White Sox) have been linked to the Astros recently, and either would be an ideal fit.
Both players would add necessary pitching depth, and either could fit in seamlessly as a 4th or 5th starter in the rotation.
Needless to say, Houston seems to be casting a wide net to increase their odds of landing someone who can help the team immediately.
An ideal scenario would be for the Astros to acquire at least one pitcher and use a six-man rotation once Verlanader and Garcia come back at some point this year.
It would be beneficial for the Astros to acquire an extra starting pitcher or two to add to their rotation and maybe another option who can play first base as well to ensure this team continues to improve and make another run at the postseason this year.