WATSON!!!

Here’s how Texans ownership put their fans in the worst possible position

No wonder Watson reportedly wants to play for the Jets. Composite image by Jack Brame.

Here's the real tragedy of Houston Texans superstar quarterback Deshaun Watson "requesting" (translation: "demanding") a trade, reportedly to the New York Jets. If Watson had done this a year ago, maybe Larry David's golf buddy Carl Sachs would still be alive.

Sure Watson is trying to get the last laugh on Texans owner Cal McNair now, but he already got the first laugh last year on an episode of David's hit comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO.

If you watched the "The Ugly Section" episode of Curb, you know that Carl was an obsessed Jets fan - to the point where he was so upset over the Jets' constant losing that he killed himself. His suicide note said, simply, "I can't take any more disappointment."

Here's the best scene:

*NSFW LANGUAGE

When told that Carl took his own life, Larry said, "That's what he used to say when we watched the Jets games together. I've seen that guy sob after losses. During games I've seen him sob. And they just kept losing and it kept eating at him. The Jets killed Carl … and a little bit the Knicks."

Larry tried to console Carl's widow at the funeral. Well, console and ask her for a date. That's confidence, hitting on a widow at her husband's funeral.

Carl's widow Veronica asked Larry, "I'm so thrown by this. Did he seem different to you? Was he agitated about anything?"

Larry: "Yes, he was very upset about the Jets."

Veronica: "Those f'ing Jets. He loved them so much and all they did was disappoint. The Jets ruined my marriage. One night he just woke up and yelled 'Watson!' What is that? Was it a Sherlock Holmes reference or something?"

Larry: "No, I think that is a reference to Deshaun Watson, who the Jets passed on drafting in 2017."

No wonder Watson reportedly wants to play for the Jets. That's pretty heady stuff, being mentioned on the funniest TV show ever. And think of all the suicidal Jets fans he can save in New York.

Plus, he'll be leaving the most dysfunctional team in professional sports. In one year, the Texans have fired an incompetent coach and general manager, traded their best receiver DeAndre Hopkins for a broken-down running back, infuriated Andre Johnson the only member of the Texans "Ring of Honor," elevated Jack Easterby a despised Svengali figure with no experience running a football team to general manager, exposed its president has an inarticulate hayseed with zero people skills who hired a new head coach who's been in the league for nearly three decades and hasn't even held a coordinator job, and most important, created such a toxic atmosphere that the most celebrated player in Texans history J.J. Watt, and their supremely gifted quarterback Deshaun Watson, want to leave.

More and more, the Watson dilemma boils down to a simple ultimatum to owner Cal McNair: either Jack Easterby goes or Watson goes. One or the other. What's it going to be, him or me? And Jethro apparently is picking "him" - Easterby.

It's such a Shakespearean tragedy that fans are supporting Watt and Watson's desire to get out of town. They know the Texans with McNair/Easterby calling the shots are hopeless. When was the last time you heard of local fans cheering on players who hate playing for the hometown team? Watson, who is obsessed with winning, is so disgusted with the Texans' organization that he reportedly wants to be traded to a team with an even worse won-loss record than the Texans. This is not going to end well for anybody.

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Kyle Tucker had a big day at the plate on Sunday. Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

After splitting the first two games of the series, with one team or the other putting on a solid offensive performance in each, the Astros tried to win their fourth series in their last five by taking the rubber game on Sunday against the Blue Jays. Thanks in part to a big day from Kyle Tucker, who played a significant role in the early offense they used to power to the win, they would accomplish their mission.

Final Score: Astros 7, Blue Jays 4

Astros' Record: 18-16, second in the AL West

Winning Pitcher: Bryan Abreu (2-1)

Losing Pitcher: Nate Pearson (0-1)

Kyle Tucker helps lead the offense to seven unanswered runs

Houston did not go easy on Nate Pearson in his 2021 debut. After a scoreless first, the Astros loaded the bases on two walks and a single, then brought the first run of the day home on an RBI walk by Michael Brantley. Another walk opened the door in the bottom of the third, and Kyle Tucker capitalized with an RBI triple to make it 2-0, followed by an RBI single by Robel Garcia to make it a three-run lead, ending Pearson's day one out into the bottom of the third.

Things didn't get easier for Toronto's pitching in the next inning, as Jose Altuve would lead off the bottom of the fourth with a solo homer. A single and a walk then set up another big hit for Kyle Tucker, a three-run dinger to make it seven unanswered runs and giving Tucker four RBI on the day.

Blue Jays pound Greinke in the fifth

After four shutout innings to start his day on the mound, working around a few hits along the way, Zack Greinke tried to cash in on his team's offense to get another win on his record. He wouldn't be able to get it done, though, as Toronto would get after him in the top of the fifth. They would score four times amongst five batters that came to the plate, with a solo homer by Rowdy Tellez, a two-RBI double by Bo Bichette, and an RBI single by Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

That made it a 7-4 game, and with Greinke still not having recorded an out in the frame, Dusty Baker would lift him at 88 pitches in favor of Bryan Abreu, who would get a pop out and a double play to end the inning and keep the lead at three runs. Greinke's final line: 4.0 IP, 9 H, 4 ER, 0 BB, 4 K, 1 HR, 88 P.

Houston takes the series

No more runs would come on either side the rest of the way, with Kent Emanuel working around a single for a scoreless sixth, Ryne Stanek getting a 1-2-3 seventh, and Andre Scrubb doing the same in the eighth to set up Ryan Pressly for the save. Pressly would get the job done, sending the Blue Jays down in order, including two strikeouts to wrap up the win and giving Houston the series victory.

Up Next: The Astros will stay at home to continue this homestand, welcoming in the Angels for three games starting Monday at 7:10 PM Central. The opener will feature a pitching matchup of Alex Cobb (1-2, 5.48 ERA) for Los Angeles and Luis Garcia (0-3, 3.28 ERA) for Houston.

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