RAHEEL RAMZANALI
Hypothetical: What animal your favorite athlete fought as a child
Oct 9, 2018, 7:00 am
Can you beat this guy? J.J. Watt can. Hypothetically. Getty Images
One of the most underrated things from the UFC 229 brawl and fight was Khabib Nurmagomedov’s childhood video of him wrestling a bear. Soon as that hit Twitter, it explained so much about Khabib as a fighter, man, and competitor. In fact, I think I saw more, “Wow, this makes so much sense now.” tweets than, “I’ll never watch the UFC again after this brawl! I’m so offended.” tweets.
So keeping in the spirit of that conversation, here are five hypotheticals of what animal some of our favorite Houston athletes fought as a kid:
James Harden vs a Lion: OK, I’m going to start this whole thing off with a lazy joke, ready? “Have you ever seen a lion play defense?” Think about it, lions are the craziest hunters when they’re in attack mode, but do they ever play defense? NOPE! And neither does James. OK, I’m sorry. Look, James has improved on his defense and I constantly argue with people that he’s a really good post defender, but this joke and stigma will never get old for a lazy blurb on my SportsMap article. In fact, the last time a lion had to play some defense was when Mufasa had to fight his brother Scar and because he didn’t know how to, he ended up dying. Now, the true comparisons of James being a killer on the court when he wants to is real and that’s why him fighting a lion as a child makes sense. Also, is there anything more fashion forward in the animal kingdom than a lion’s mane? There isn’t! James picked up his killer offensive instinct, fashion forward style, and blase attitude from this childhood fight with a lion. Seriously, lions literally nap the entire day. Here’s a little behind the scenes, after I wrote this blurb I ran it by my editors Jordan Smith and Del Olaleye (we’ll hear from him again in this post) and they said James vs a Bull makes more sense. Here’s why: the obvious ole jokes, the bull’s nose ring is even more fashion forward than a lion’s mane, and Harden can be a bull in a china shop at times when he’s driving to the hoop and flailing his arms everywhere.
Justin Verlander vs a Golden Retriever: OK, this wasn’t a fight as much as a stern talking to because Justin Verlander is such a sweet person and dad that he was more disappointed in the dog. Verlander just expected more out of the dog and that moment as a child instilled a dedication of always giving his best and exceeding expectations as a professional. This was the most boring of the fights, but probably makes the most sense.
Alex Bregman vs a Chupacabra: Some people (aka the fake news media) believe Bregman learned spanish so he could help his teammates adjust to the clubhouse and become friends with all of his teammates, but as one conservative radio personality, Del Olaleye, put it, Bregman really learned Spanish so he could tame the legendary Chupacabra. Bregman’s attitude of never backing down was instilled from a young age because his entire life was dedicated to fighting a mythical creature so powerful that Animal Planet has dedicated 18 episodes of Lost Tapes on it. How did this fight start? Because of an intense staring contest. I’ll see myself out.
Deshaun Watson vs a Goat: There an old saying in sports that goes something like this, “To be the man, you gotta beat the man - WOOOO!!” and that is exactly what Watson did as a child. To be the goat, you have to beat a goat. Deshaun is still the greatest QB ever and is going to lead the Texans to new heights under Bill O’Brien - like maybe win more than 9 games - so it’s only right that beat an actual goat so he could be called THE GOAT.
JJ Watt vs a Badger: Look, few things in life are more relentless than a badger. They never stop coming at you and will always grind it out. This explains why JJ Watt is so relentless. When he was a young lad, his fight with a badger put him on a path of greatness where he would never stop working hard and chasing greatness. Even though JJ lost that fight, he really won it because it gave him a goal to become the new badger.
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NFL insiders hint at eye-opening future for Houston Texans offense
Dec 7, 2024, 2:38 pm
C.J. Stroud faced criticism in Houston's last few games as the Texans hit a rough patch after losing just two of their first eight games.
But the second-year quarterback remained confident and his strong performance last Sunday helped the Texans (8-5) to a 23-20 win over the Jaguars to enter their bye with a two-game lead atop the AFC South.
“When he is leading and playing the way he is playing, our entire team feeds off of him,” coach DeMeco Ryans said. “I am excited for his second year. I think he is showing a ton of growth, he is in a really great spot for us physically, mentally. I really love where he is and I am excited to see how he comes back after the break.”
Stroud threw for 242 yards and a touchdown against Jacksonville to leave him ranked fourth in the NFL with 3,117 yards passing this season. That game came after he threw two interceptions in a 32-27 loss to Tennessee a week before for the team’s third loss in four games.
Those two interceptions brought his season total to nine, which are four more than he threw in 15 games a rookie. But the Texans aren’t worried about that statistic and believe he has grown in his second year.
“He’s made a lot of progress,” general manager Nick Caserio said. “There are some plays, like all of our players, that we probably wish he could have back, but happy he’s our quarterback, happy with what he brings to the table. ... Wouldn’t want anyone else leading this team.”
The Texans are in position to win their division for a second straight season despite dealing with several significant injuries on offense. Running back Joe Mixon missed three games early with an ankle injury and leading receiver Nico Collins was sidelined for five games with a hamstring injury.
They also lost four-time Pro Bowler Stefon Diggs for the season when tore an ACL in Week 8.
Mixon leads the team with 887 yards rushing and 11 touchdowns and has added four touchdown receptions. His work in his first season in Houston after a trade from Cincinnati has helped the team deal with those significant injuries to the receiving corps.
Mixon ranks third in the NFL by averaging 88.7 yards rushing a game and has had at least 100 yards rushing in seven games.
Stroud has continually raved about Mixon’s contributions on and off the field.
“He’s a servant, a helper,” Stroud said. “That’s ultimately what I want to be as well. Who can I serve and how can I help? That’s ultimately what the game of football is.”
While Mixon has been the team’s most important new acquisition on offense, Danielle Hunter has been Houston’s new defensive star. The defensive end spent his first eight seasons in Minnesota before joining the Texans this year.
He has helped Houston lead the NFL with 84 tackles for loss after piling up 15 this season, which is tied for third most in the league. He also leads the Texans with 10½ sacks to help them rank second with 42.
Hunter been a great addition to a team that already had defensive end Will Anderson Jr., last year’s AP Defensive Rookie of the Year. Anderson ranks second to Hunter on the team with 13 tackles for loss and 9½ sacks.
Ryans said this week’s break is much needed for a team that opened the preseason on Aug. 1 in the Hall of Fame game.
“It’s here and we’re going to take advantage of it,” he said. “We’ve been going at it for a long time.”
The Texans need to recharge this week with a brutal stretch of three games in 10 days when they return from their bye. Houston hosts Miami on Dec. 15 before a trip to Kansas City on Dec. 21 and a visit from the Ravens on Christmas Day.
“It’s Christmas and all that, but we can’t worry about that. All we can do is focus on Miami,” Caserio said. “And then when we get through the Miami game, then we kind of turn the page to the next. ... We’re either going to earn it or we’re not. Not to oversimplify it, but that’s the truth.”
The Texans will play those game without starting linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair after he received a three-game suspension for his violent hit to the head of Jacksonville’s Trevor Lawrence, which led to a concussion.
Al-Shaair will be eligible to return for Houston’s regular-season finale against Tennessee.