What does it all mean?

John Granato: Thoughts and prayers for those of you who don't share your thoughts and prayers

If Sister Jean says thoughts and prayers, she means it. Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

(Warning: This may not be appropriate for a sports website because it has nothing to do with sports but oh well.)

I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I’m getting the feeling that "Thoughts and Prayers" is just a tad bit insincere or at the very least it’s losing some of its luster.

You see it everywhere now. Every tragic event or even mundane setback on Twitter or Facebook has a string of Thoughts and Prayers after it. No matter how big or small the incident, from a terrorist attack to a head cold we get T’s and P’s attached to everything.

Maybe you’ve never seen my shortened version T’s and P’s before. Not maybe. You haven’t seen it because I just made it up and I’m pretty sure it’ll take off because we as a society are so lazy that we’ll have to shorten even something as important as a condolence to someone who’s suffering because it’s what we do.  

Once -- just once -- I’d like to see someone get called out for their Thoughts and Prayers.

“Heading to Chicago. Mom’s not doing well.”

“Thoughts and Prayers”

“Wow, that was quick. Which ones did you say?”

“Which ones what?”

“Which prayers? Hail Mary? Our Father? A rosary? Did you say a rosary? Thank you so much.”

“I, uh, didn’t say a rosary. I asked God to watch over her.”

“Soooo, you didn’t really say a prayer. You more or less just made a request. Kinda chintzy wasn’t it? If you’re going to give thoughts and prayers it ought to be at least a Hail Mary. And by the way what thoughts did you attach to your request?

“Ummm.”

“Yeah. Thought so.”

You may be thinking that I’m being a bit of a jerk here. Someone who took the time to respond with a Thoughts and Prayers is at the very least sharing a kindness. I guess, but how many of those T’s and P’s are really sincere?

Raheel started a trend on our show. If you meet anyone in the military you have to say “Thanks for your service.” If you don’t, you don’t appreciate them or love your country.

Same goes for a tragic event. If everyone is responding on Twitter or Facebook with Thoughts and Prayers and you don’t, then you don’t care about that person or their suffering. You’re a bad person.

Honestly, how many people actually say a prayer and give more than a passing thought to that person who’s suffering, especially if it’s someone they’ve never met? Five percent? Ten percent? I’d have to say that’s the high end.

If Sister Jean gives me a Thoughts and Prayers I know she said a prayer. I just know it and I know it’s a good one, not just a fly-by. It had wings. God heard it and is giving it some thought himself.

If Raheel or Del give me a Thoughts and Prayers I’m not so sure. Matter of fact, I’m pretty sure it was the last thought they gave it and they immediately moved on to a shoe or college football website.

I’m not saying they’re bad people. They are, but not because of their insincere Thoughts and Prayers. They’re just following the crowd. If you don’t you’ll get roasted by Twitter and no one wants that heat.

I don’t want to be the Thoughts and Prayers police. I just want you to give it some thought yourself. The next time you throw a T’s and P’s at someone mean it. Give it your best shot or at the very least a Hail Mary. I’m just sayin’.












 

WWE's Royal Rumble arrives this Sunday at Minute Maid Park. Photo by Paul Muth

I'm not a big sign guy.

You know sign guys. The people who write puns on posters. The ones who carry the letter "D" in one had and a cutout of a literal fence in the other. The "Houston, YOU have a problem" sign guys.

I tried it once when I was 14, was punched in the face, and sort of lost my appetite after that.

Let me explain.

It was April 1, 2001. Wrestlemania 17. I won't ask my parents how much it cost them, but my aunt and uncle scored floor seats to the greatest spectacle in sports entertainment in no better confines than the Astrodome herself and I got to tag along.

It was a hell of a show. Some say it was one of the best Wrestlemanias ever. The card was stacked, including a Triple-H match against the hometown hero The Undertaker that set the stage for the main event.

At precisely two hours and forty-eight minutes into the event, Undertaker sent Triple-H flying over the barricade and "INTO THE STANDS!"

"Holy crap," 14-year-old Paul thought. "They're headed right down my aisle."

Now I'm not sure how it works these days, but back then it was totally customary to bail on your seat and follow the fight as they weaved up and down the aisles. I wasn't about to miss the chance so I grabbed my poorly scribbled wrestling poster, glanced back and my Aunt for the OK, then darted after the action.

The fight snaked its way up to some scaffolding with a camera perched atop. There, the fight would stall as they battled their way to the top. Oblivious to anything but the action in front of me, I threw my sign up as high as I could, probably screamed at the top of my lungs, and my voice probably cracked in the process. I was 14.

Suddenly someone pushed me in the back of my shoulder. I turned around and there was an old lady, maybe five feet tall, standing on her chair. She had the quintessential cowgirl big hair and enough costume jewelry on to short-circuit a metal detector.

"GET THE @#$% OUT THE WAY, BOY," she commanded in the most east Texas accent you've ever heard in your life. I ignored her and turned back around.

Then she pushed me again.

I turned around again and before I had any clue what was happening, this knockoff mini Dolly Parton had already connected a stiff left hook to my temple. She then grabbed my sign and ripped it in half. Stunned, I retreated to my seat while tending to a now bleeding eyebrow thanks to what I assume was a Wal-Mart engagement ring.

Haven't really been a big sign guy since.

But this weekend the WWE takes over Minute Maid Park for their annual Pay-Per-View event known as the Royal Rumble. It will be the first time since that fateful night in the Astrodome 19 years ago that I've returned to a high profile wrestling event.

Now am I looking forward to this weekend as an opportunity to retake the dignity that was ripped away so long ago? Probably not. I'll most likely just drink a bunch of beer and yell at wrestlers with my friends. But I'm not ruling anything out.

Now instead of a power rankings this week, I figured that in the spirit of the Royal Rumble we could rehash some of the best sports fights Houston's served up:

#5 Charles Barkley throws man through window

Now I know this one didn't happen on a court, but the story is just too good. In a classic case of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes," a 5'2" Floridian by the name of Jorge Lugo decided to harrass the 6'6" then-power forward for the Houston Rockets at an Orlando bar . Barkley ignored and avoided the issue until a Lugo-thrown glass intended for Barkley missed and struck a nearby woman. Bad move. When judge presiding over the ensuing case asked Barkley if he had any regrets, The Round Mound of Rebound replied "Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

#4 Chris Paul serves a two-piece to Rajon Rondo

This one is actually fairly recent and adds to what I discovered was a hefty list of Rockets throw downs. After breaking up a stare down between Lakers forward Brandon Ingram and James Harden, Paul and Rondo began a heated chest-to-chest exchange. From all replay indications it appeared as if Rondo then spit on Paul, which triggered a disrespectful finger push to Rondo's face, which then descended into a good old fashioned knuckle sandwich exchange. Paul was suspended for two games.

#3 Derrick Lewis verifies amateur of amateur status

Some dude actually had the nerve to walk in to UFC Heavyweight fighter and Houston native Derrick Lewis' gym and pick a fight. The amateur claimed that he would knock Lewis out because he was an MMA fighter, and not a real boxer. "The Black Beast" was more than happy to oblige, and swiftly teleported the no name into the shadow realm.

#2 Vernon Maxwell fights Portland man

Sometimes people forget that sporting events are intended to be family friendly. Some also forget that players are people with actual feelings. Maxwell claims that aside from general harassment, a Portland fan decided to bring Maxwell's wife's recent miscarriage to light as well. Maxwell stood up from the bench, calmly walked up the stairs, and knocked the crap out of the dude. Maxwell was suspended 10 games.

#1 Andre Johnson baptizes Courtland Finnegan

It had been seasons in the making. Finnegan had built a reputation out of adding cheap shots here and there, ripping helmets off at the end of plays, and various other dirty tactics. In late November of 2010 Johnson had reached the end of his rope. Schadenfreude was the flavor of the day for all Texans fans as Johnson manhandled Finnegan, reigning down fists of righteous justice.

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