Ken Hoffman: Texans unveil super lineup of new stadium food for 2018 season
TEXANS STARTERS
17 August 2018
This article originally appeared on CultureMap.
The Houston Texans have announced their lineup of starters — and entrees, sandwiches, and snacks —for the upcoming season at NRG Stadium.
As the Texans enter their 17th year, two rookies have made the team: Antone’s Famous Po’Boys and the Original Ninfa’s on Navigation. Two superstars are returning: award-winning Chris Shepherd with a menu from his new restaurant, Georgia James, and barbecue wizard Ronnie Killen waving beef ribs that would tip over Fred Flintstone’s car.
Texans president Jamey Rootes and Aramark district bossman Joel Nash recently revealed the new food items at the big stadium on Kirby. Rootes calls Houston the “most diverse city in the U.S.” and “culinary capital of the South.” He also says that “Texans love to eat.”
If Hotels.com ever needs a new Captain Obvious, Rootes is their guy. (I kid — because I love.)
How are the Texans doing? Rootes noted that the waiting list to buy Texans season tickets is comparable to the current number of Houston Rockets and Houston Astros season ticket holders — combined. Yeah, Houston is a football town.
Football and...lobster rolls?
As the media grazes tables showcasing high-falutin’ concession items, I ask Nash: “Even with all this haute cuisine (lobster rolls and quinoa salad at a football game?), what percentage of fans will buy a couple of hot dogs and a beer and be happy?” He says, “between 60 and 70 percent.” So take that, Korean Barbecue Eggroll Lettuce Wraps with rice wine vinaigrette, which will be available in suites, where they belong — and better stay there.
Hot dogs at NRG Stadium are from Holmes Smokehouse, so they’re legit franks, not generic, no-name mystery franks.
Flintstones food
By the way, those two-pound monster beef ribs from Killen are $40 each — the highest priced single food item in Houston Texans history. They’re incredibly fantastic and worth the money — if you have that kind of money.
Texans exhibition season at NRG Stadium begins August 18 against the San Francisco 49ers. And much like the action on the field, concession stands will feature a lot of newcomers and rookies. In my best Marc Vandermeer "rock 'n' roll" voice, here are the players and their numbers.
Video: See what's cooking at NRG Stadium
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With the Texans coming off their sorry second half showing at the Jets and the Detroit Lions coming to town riding a six-game winning streak, it has the look of pretender vs. contender Sunday night at NRG Stadium. The 7-1 Lions are obviously the better team but that is no guarantee that they will be the better team Sunday night. The point spread is only three and a half points. It’s not as if a Texans victory would be a stunning upset. The Texans knocking off the Lions would not balance the books for the Detroit Tigers having bounced the Astros from the baseball playoffs last month, but it would be one of the better regular season wins in Texans’ history.
If not upsetting, it certainly isn’t uplifting that Nick Caserio made zero consequential moves before Tuesday’s trade deadline. If you’re a Texans fan it is upsetting, though shouldn’t be infuriating. Claiming off waivers an offensive lineman (Zachary Thomas) who was getting about 10 snaps per game on one of the very worst o-lines in the NFL (New England Patriots) does not qualify as consequential. It’s not as if Caserio could snap his fingers and make a great deal for a legitimate starting left guard. But his job is to build the roster and he made nothing that qualifies as even a modest upgrade to the most glaring weakness on the team. Play can’t be much worse than what Kenyon Green was providing at left guard before his season-ending injury. But Kenyon was only playing because the staff considered him better than Kendrick Green and Jarrett Patterson. Or, Kenyon was getting unwarranted extended run to prove conclusively he was a waste of a first-round draft pick in 2022.
If Caserio believes the Texans are a bonafide threat in the AFC, adding nothing is a clear fail. Any gurgling about “we believe in our guys” as justification for inertia should be scoffed at, unless Caserio or anyone else believes the Chiefs, Bills, Steelers, and Ravens didn’t “believe in their guys.” All those AFC contenders made clear upgrades. This is not talking about the Texans trading high draft choices. Last week the Minnesota Vikings acquired Jacksonville starting left tackle Cam Robinson for a conditional fifth-round pick.
Tale of the tape
As for Sunday, NBC has to be hoping the Texans being 4-0 this season at NRG Stadium bodes well for them, at least giving the Lions a good game. The Texans are with the Chiefs, Bills, Commanders (!), and Bears (!!) as unbeaten at home. On the other hand, the Lions are a perfect 4-0 on the road. The Chiefs and Falcons have also yet to lose on the road.
While hoping that Aidan Hutchinson makes a complete recovery from his multiple leg fractures, the Lions’ beastly defensive end’s absence sure helps the cause of the Texans’ feeble pass-protecting offensive line. Hutchinson was the early leader for Defensive Player of the Year with seven and a half sacks in five games before he went down. The Lions traded for DE Za’Darius Smith from Cleveland this week. It’s unclear whether Smith makes his Detroit debut chasing C.J. Stroud.
The Texans have topped 30 points in a game once this season. The Lions average an NFL-leading 32.3 per game, topping 30 in four of their last five games, only coming up short last Sunday in a rain-soaked 24-14 win at Green Bay. Over those five games quarterback Jared Goff has completed an absurd 83.8 percent of his passes, with 11 touchdown passes and no interceptions. For the season Goff is completing 74.9 percent. If he maintains that number, he’ll break the NFL record of 74.4 that Drew Brees posted with the Saints in 2018.
Third time's the charm?
Only once in their history have the Texans managed three consecutive winning seasons. They went 9-7 in each of them under Bill O’Brien in 2014, ‘15, and ‘16. They did so with three different quarterbacks leading them in passing yardage: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Brian Hoyer, and Brock Osweiler (really!). The Lions are two victories from securing their first back-to-back-to-back winning seasons since 1993, ‘94, and ‘95. That was the heyday of the great Barry Sanders at running back. Three different quarterbacks led the Lions in passing yardage those years. You’re probably fibbing if you claimed “I know them: Rodney Peete, Dave Krieg, and Scott Mitchell.”
For Texans’ conversation, catch Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and me on our Texans On Tap podcasts. Thursdays feature a preview of the upcoming game, and then we go live (then available on demand) after the final gun of the game: Texans on Tap - YouTube
The Astros are always in season for discussion. Our Stone Cold ‘Stros podcasts drop Mondays: Click here to watch!
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