Every-Thing Sports

Let's discuss 4 outside the box trade scenarios for the Texans

You never know what could happen. Composite image by Jack Brame

Sometimes you look at things and see what you want to see in them. Sometimes, you see things for what they really are and it's disappointing. Then there's the Texans' situation. You hate to see it. This team is bad enough to get a top five to ten pick, but can't reap the benefits of it due to what Butt Chin O'Brien has done. The Dolphins have gone from laughingstock to contender at the expense of the Texans' incompetence. Well, mainly Bill O'Brien's incompetence. But there's also Jack Easterby AKA Petyr Baelish AKA Littlefinger. He's had something to do with what's gone wrong with this franchise lately. Actually, he's had a lot to do with what's gone wrong with this franchise over the past few years.

When I look at this team and how far it's come under head coach/general manager Bill O'Brien (despite his obvious shortcomings), there's still room for improvement. O'Brien is now gone, and the only person remaining that has any stroke is seemingly Jack Easterby. He weaseled for power, but managed to get the head coach/GM fired that brought him into the fold. So now what?

We're at the NFL's trade deadline and there are moves to be made. Cal McNair came out and said this team can still compete for one of the final playoff spots and won't be trading anyone. I don't know if he was on drugs or not, so I'll assume he wasn't and made a crazy statement. Being that this is a rudderless ship, what would the trade deadline look like for the Texans?

J.J. Watt trade

They would most likely trade Watt to the Saints for a bowl of gumbo, a hurricane from Pat O'Brien's, and some beignets from Cafe Du Monde. No way Cal or Littlefinger gets this right. Those guys aren't used to dealing with other NFL front office guys and would get fleeced!

Wide Receiver trades

Next up, they'd end up trading Kenny Stills, Brandin Cooks, Randall Cobb, and Will Fuller. Refusing to acknowledge Deshaun Watson needs anyone to throw to, they'd trade every wide receiver in an effort to acquire more draft picks, except they'd end up with a couple 4th round picks, only to waste them on backup tight ends that suck, or offensive lineman that will eventually be cut and go on to a WWE career.

Deshaun Watson deal?

In a total shocker, they'd end up trading their hottest player by accident. Another general manager would call and offer them a first rounder and some change for Watson. In an instant, Cal and Littlefinger would think they're getting over and accept the deal, only to realize they've traded their most prized possession for an underwhelming pick after it's too late.

Laremy Tunsil gets traded too

Figuring they can't do any worse, the bumbling idiots trade prized left tackle Laremy Tunsil for some toilet paper and Kleenex since they can't stop pooping themselves and crying after trading Watson. Things have gotten quite ugly on Kirby. Cal ends up transitioning Littlefinger to the sales department, steps down as the head man, and promotes his teenage son to CEO because he's pretty good at Madden.


This is the kind of thing you'd expect when your franchise is run by a guy who doesn't know what he's doing, and an owner who thinks the people he's hired are "good people." The Texans are a mess and will be for at least another season or so. They need to hit a factory reset on this franchise in order to not waste another great player's prime years. It's sad when your team is known more for wasting it's great players' prime instead of maximizing them. Unfortunately, this is their fate until Cal decides it isn't.

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Yuli Gurriel had a monster night at the plate Friday. Photo by Elsa/Getty Images.

Although they lost the series 2-1, the Astros ended their road trip with a nice win over the Yankees to head home on a positive note. On Friday, they welcomed in the Toronto Blue Jays and former teammate George Springer, currently on the IL, to start a three-game series and long homestand. They had an excellent night at the plate, along with a strong start from Jose Urquidy, cruising past the Blue Jays to take the opener.

Final Score: Astros 10, Blue Jays 4

Astros' Record: 17-15, third in the AL West

Winning Pitcher: Jose Urquidy (3-2)

Losing Pitcher: Ross Stripling (0-2)

Jays strike first, then Houston responds and never looks back

It first appeared that Urquidy may be in for a long night, giving up two solo home runs early in Friday's game, one to Bo Bichette in the top of the first with one out to put Toronto up 1-0, then another to Danny Jansen in the top of the third. However, Urquidy would lock-in, and his offense would back him up strongly.

Houston ended up sending nine batters to the plate in the bottom of the second, getting two runs on a homer by Carlos Correa, then later loading the bases to set up an RBI walk by Alex Bregman. In the bottom of the fifth, with a one-run lead at 3-2, Yuli Gurriel expanded the lead to three runs on a two-run shot.

Gurriel went on to have a fantastic night, going 4-for-4 at the plate with 4 RBI. His third of those came in the bottom of the seventh, extending the lead again with an RBI single to make it 6-2. Kyle Tucker made it a five-run game that same inning with an RBI double, then more insurance came in the bottom of the eighth. They reached double-digits that inning, with Alex Bregman, Yordan Alvarez, and Yuli Gurriel, his fourth of the night, all getting an RBI to make it 10-2.

Urquidy finishes seven, then Emanuel finishes it off

Those gave Urquidy plenty of support, though he would bounce back after the two early homers and have a nice night on the mound. He allowed just two other hits, working around both, en route to a seven-inning two-run performance to earn him the win. His final line: 7.0 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 2 K, 2 HR, 84 P.

He likely could have gone longer, but Dusty Baker turned the ball over to Kent Emanuel to wrap things up with the significant lead. He did so, despite allowing a two-run home run to former-Astro Teoscor Hernandez in the top of the ninth to make the score 10-4. The win kept the Astros above .500 and two games back of the A's, who sit atop the AL West standings.

Up Next: The middle game of this series will be a 6:10 PM start Saturday night. The pitching matchup will be Steven Matz (4-2, 4.78 ERA) for Toronto and the electric Cristian Javier (3-0, 1.75 ERA) for Houston.

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