Every-Thing Sports

Let's discuss 4 outside the box trade scenarios for the Texans

You never know what could happen. Composite image by Jack Brame

Sometimes you look at things and see what you want to see in them. Sometimes, you see things for what they really are and it's disappointing. Then there's the Texans' situation. You hate to see it. This team is bad enough to get a top five to ten pick, but can't reap the benefits of it due to what Butt Chin O'Brien has done. The Dolphins have gone from laughingstock to contender at the expense of the Texans' incompetence. Well, mainly Bill O'Brien's incompetence. But there's also Jack Easterby AKA Petyr Baelish AKA Littlefinger. He's had something to do with what's gone wrong with this franchise lately. Actually, he's had a lot to do with what's gone wrong with this franchise over the past few years.

When I look at this team and how far it's come under head coach/general manager Bill O'Brien (despite his obvious shortcomings), there's still room for improvement. O'Brien is now gone, and the only person remaining that has any stroke is seemingly Jack Easterby. He weaseled for power, but managed to get the head coach/GM fired that brought him into the fold. So now what?

We're at the NFL's trade deadline and there are moves to be made. Cal McNair came out and said this team can still compete for one of the final playoff spots and won't be trading anyone. I don't know if he was on drugs or not, so I'll assume he wasn't and made a crazy statement. Being that this is a rudderless ship, what would the trade deadline look like for the Texans?

J.J. Watt trade

They would most likely trade Watt to the Saints for a bowl of gumbo, a hurricane from Pat O'Brien's, and some beignets from Cafe Du Monde. No way Cal or Littlefinger gets this right. Those guys aren't used to dealing with other NFL front office guys and would get fleeced!

Wide Receiver trades

Next up, they'd end up trading Kenny Stills, Brandin Cooks, Randall Cobb, and Will Fuller. Refusing to acknowledge Deshaun Watson needs anyone to throw to, they'd trade every wide receiver in an effort to acquire more draft picks, except they'd end up with a couple 4th round picks, only to waste them on backup tight ends that suck, or offensive lineman that will eventually be cut and go on to a WWE career.

Deshaun Watson deal?

In a total shocker, they'd end up trading their hottest player by accident. Another general manager would call and offer them a first rounder and some change for Watson. In an instant, Cal and Littlefinger would think they're getting over and accept the deal, only to realize they've traded their most prized possession for an underwhelming pick after it's too late.

Laremy Tunsil gets traded too

Figuring they can't do any worse, the bumbling idiots trade prized left tackle Laremy Tunsil for some toilet paper and Kleenex since they can't stop pooping themselves and crying after trading Watson. Things have gotten quite ugly on Kirby. Cal ends up transitioning Littlefinger to the sales department, steps down as the head man, and promotes his teenage son to CEO because he's pretty good at Madden.

This is the kind of thing you'd expect when your franchise is run by a guy who doesn't know what he's doing, and an owner who thinks the people he's hired are "good people." The Texans are a mess and will be for at least another season or so. They need to hit a factory reset on this franchise in order to not waste another great player's prime years. It's sad when your team is known more for wasting it's great players' prime instead of maximizing them. Unfortunately, this is their fate until Cal decides it isn't.

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