EVERY-THING SPORTS (AND NOT)
For men, trips to the doctor - even for elective procedures - are not a sign of weakness
Oct 30, 2018, 7:03 am
At least the TV was on. Jermaine Every
There’s a stigma with most men. We often times don’t want to go to the doctor. Let me rephrase that: we never like going to the doctor. Whether it’s fear of what they’ll tell us, or fear of what may happen as a result, we don’t like going. Most of us would rather fall out and die than know what’s going on.
That said, I somewhat fall into this category. I only go when I’m forced. A cyst on the back of my neck got infected and grew into the size of a golf ball before I had it taken care of. When it grew back, it took me about a year or so to get it removed. Thank God it was non-cancerous, or else I would’ve taken even longer to get treatment. Yes, I’m hardheaded and tolerate pain or discomfort differently than others.
On March 7, I filled in on The Blitz and co hosted with AJ Hoffman. Beth Liebling of Darling Way was on with us in the 6 p.m. hour. If you’ve ever heard her segments, it can get interesting. The topic turned to birth control somehow. When my method was deemed taking a chance, AJ said vasectomy was the best way to go. His exact words were “it’s like going to the gun range with unlimited bullets.” Took me a while, but I finally decided to take the plunge.
I looked online at their website, read up on the procedure, and made an appointment. I was sent an email, and then got a phone call to confirm. Edgar and Madison were both very nice and accommodating. They explained everything to me in detail, helped me switch my appointment around, and even gave me the price for everything with my insurance.
When I got there Monday, my nerves were bad. I mean, I’m about to literally put my manhood in the hands of strangers! Jennifer helped me get signed in and took my payment. Nicest person I’ve ever willingly gave that much money to. Nathan was the medical assistant that went over the procedure and post-care instructions. He’s a funny guy that made me feel a little more at ease. By the time Dr. Williams came in, I was calmer, but I could feel myself getting nervous again.
Dr. Williams was nervous also. See, I laugh when I’m in pain. So while he was busy working on my nether regions, I was busy laughing and groaning. The stuff he did to numb me initially worked sort of. I also have a high tolerance for meds and stuff. But when something is going on down there, all bets are off. I was worried it wouldn’t work anymore if something went awry. The main reason I was there was to freely use it without fear of making another human tax deduction! My wife had to explain that that’s what I do, but he went to get more anesthesia. After the next round of anesthesia, I was good to go; only a little pain and discomfort.
I wrote as a man trying to get other men to realize that it’s OK to seek medical help. Next up, I’m getting this skin spot biopsied to make sure it isn’t cancerous. There’s no need for seeming weak or less of a man. Sure this was elective, but I wasn’t afraid to get it done. Okay, maybe a little. It’s my balls we’re talking about! Seriously though guys, if you need help, get it. Don’t be afraid. Take care of yourselves.
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After finishing up with the Guardians the Astros have a rather important series for early May with the Seattle Mariners heading to town for the weekend. While it’s still too early to be an absolute must-win series for the Astros, losing the series to drop seven or eight games off the division lead would make successfully defending their American League West title that much more unlikely.
Since their own stumble out of the gate to a 6-10 record the Mariners have been racking up series wins, including one this week over the Atlanta Braves. The M’s offense is largely Mmm Mmm Bad, but their pitching is sensational. In 18 games after the 6-10 start, the Mariners gave up five runs in a game once. In the other 17 games they only gave up four runs once. Over the 18 games their starting pitchers gave up 18 earned runs total with a 1.44 earned run average. That’s absurd. Coming into the season Seattle’s starting rotation was clearly better on paper than those of the Astros and Texas Rangers, and it has crystal clearly played out as such into the second month of the schedule.
While it’s natural to focus on and fret over one’s own team's woes when they are plentiful as they have been for the Astros, a reminder that not all grass is greener elsewhere. Alex Bregman has been awful so far. So has young Mariners’ superstar Julio Rodriguez. A meager four extra base hits over his first 30 games were all Julio produced down at the ballyard. That the Mariners are well ahead of the Astros with J-Rod significantly underperforming is good news for Seattle.
Caratini comes through!
So it turns out the Astros are allowed to have a Puerto Rican-born catcher who can hit a little bit. Victor Caratini’s pedigree is not that of a quality offensive player, but he has swung the bat well thus far in his limited playing time and provided the most exciting moment of the Astros’ season with his two-out two-run 10th inning game winning home run Tuesday night. I grant that one could certainly say “Hey! Ronel Blanco finishing off his no-hitter has been the most exciting moment.” I opt for the suddenness of Caratini’s blow turning near defeat into instant victory for a team that has been lousy overall to this point. Frittering away a game the Astros had led 8-3 would have been another blow. Instead, to the Victor belong the spoils.
Pudge Rodriguez is the greatest native Puerto Rican catcher, but he was no longer a good hitter when with the Astros for the majority of the 2009 season. Then there’s Martin Maldonado.
Maldonado’s hitting stats with the Astros look Mike Piazza-ian compared to what Jose Abreu was doing this season. Finally, mercifully for all, Abreu is off the roster as he accepts a stint at rookie-level ball in Florida to see if he can perform baseball-CPR on his swing and career. Until or unless he proves otherwise, Abreu is washed up and at some point the Astros will have to accept it and swallow whatever is left on his contract that runs through next season. For now Abreu makes over $120,000 per game to not be on the roster. At his level of performance, that’s a better deal than paying him that money to be on the roster.
Abreu’s seven hits in 71 at bats for an .099 batting average with a .269 OPS is a humiliating stat line. In 2018 George Springer went to sleep the night of June 13 batting .293 after going hitless in his last four at bats in a 13-5 Astros’ win over Oakland. At the time no one could have ever envisioned that Springer had started a deep, deep funk which would have him endure a nightmarish six for 78 stretch at the plate (.077 batting average). Springer then hit .293 the rest of the season.
Abreu’s exile opened the door for Joey Loperfido to begin his Major League career. Very cool for Loperfido to smack a two-run single in his first game. He also struck out twice. Loperfido will amass whiffs by the bushel, he had 37 strikeouts in 101 at bats at AAA Sugar Land. Still, if he can hit .225 with some walks mixed in (he drew 16 with the Space Cowboys) and deliver some of his obvious power (13 homers in 25 games for the ex-Skeeters) that’s an upgrade over Abreu/Jon Singleton, as well as over Jake Meyers and the awful showing Chas McCormick has posted so far. Frankly, it seems unwise that the Astros only had Loperfido play seven games at first base in the minors this year. If McCormick doesn’t pick it up soon and with Meyers displaying limited offensive upside, the next guy worth a call-up is outfielder Pedro Leon. In January 2021 the Astros gave Leon four million dollars to sign out of Cuba and called him a “rapid mover to the Major Leagues.” Well…
Over his first three minor league seasons Leon flashed tools but definitely underwhelmed. He has been substantially better so far this year. He turns 26 May 28. Just maybe the Astros offense could be the cause of fewer Ls with Loperfido at first and Leon in center field.
Catch our weekly Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast. Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and I discuss varied Astros topics. The first post for the week generally goes up Monday afternoon (second part released Tuesday) via YouTube: stone cold stros - YouTube with the complete audio available via Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.