THE NERD REPORT

Nerds around town: Fixing the Hedgehog, comic books and more

ART BY JESUS RODRIGUEZ

Born with a comic book in one hand and a remote control in the other, Cory DLG is the talent of Conroe's very own Nerd Thug Radio, Sports and Wrestling. Check out the podcast replay of the FM radio show at www.nerdthugradio.com!

Hey Nerds!

It's Friday and the weekend is now upon us. There are so many good times to be had and enjoyed but as you're getting crazy and living the life just remember to take a few minutes to think of others and be kind.

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY

Stuff happens all the time, sometimes great stuff and sometimes bad stuff. We never know when stuff is going to hit us and how it will hit us. You're asleep in bed when suddenly the wildfires that were three miles away when you went to bed are burning your house down and you and your loved ones barely get out in time. Now you don't have your wallet, extra clothes, even a car or a tent literally everything is burning, these are the times people like the American Red Cross step in and help. Make sure to donate and help out. #NerdsUnite

WELL THAT'S DIFFERENT

This week history was made as the internet actually did something good. They got the director of a movie to acknowledge they messed up and to move away from the decisions they've made. Sonic the Hedgehog after being universally panned and hated by honestly everyone in the whole entire world, is going to be redesigned to be closer to the version everyone knows and loves. The director of the film made a tweet and basically said, we get it, if we do this movie as is we will lose tons of money so lets fix the dumb hedgehog. I can't think of a ton of times that the internet has whined about something and it actually happened, and it was for the better. This is a completely odd moment. Everyone take a bow.

WHILE YOU'RE OUT

This weekend while you're going by the hardware store and hanging out at the mall food court, and going to little Bobby's birthday, make sure you swing by the comic book shop. Your local comic book store has all kinds of goodies and things to check out and this week there are some cool things out. DC comic's is launching a new event called DCeased which features a world where a virus has spread dangerously and quickly and the heroes of the DC universe are caught quite unaware. Tom King is the writer and he's a rising star in comic books and this is going to continue that rise. Also debuting this week is Marvel's Savage Avengers, Conan the Barbarian is now a part of the Marvel Universe and he joins up with a team of crazy tough badass killing machines and form their own team of Avengers. Wolverine, Elektra, Punisher and Venom are hanging out with Conan. Also this week in the world of Indy comics comes Dragonsblood #1, it looks like it might be just the book for Game of Thrones fans to check out, I recommend giving it a look.

JAWS

I just saw a preview for a new movie about a city being flooded by a hurricane and a woman in particular in this small flooded town being harassed by a killer Croc. The movie looks tense and scary and I'm sure it'll be interesting but overall there's nothing overly original about the idea or the concept and it all comes back to Jaws. Young Steven Spielberg created the modern summer blockbuster by building a mechanical shark named after a lawyer named Bruce who ate pretty college co eds as they partied all summer on the beach. The gigantic and terrifying shark at the time winds up attack and destroying a boat and then finally is killed when an oxygen tank lodged in his mouth is shot and he explodes (spoilers, sorry). It was the original, scary what's in the water movie and since then sharks have been terrifying to me and some little kid gets to grow up with an unhealthy fear of crocodiles because of this movie. Get excited.

NOT THAT YOU ASKED

So I'm a little confused about something. Why on earth do we celebrate Cinco de Mayo? I know why Mexicans do, although it's not a great story, honoring a battle they lost in a bid for independence much in the same way that the Alamo became a rallying cry for Texans. The question that I'm getting at, is why do we celebrate it though? Why is Taco Cabana and whomever else giving away cheap margs and turning this thing into a three day party? How did we get to that? I'm sure people have the same question about St Patty's Day, I'm sure there are people thoroughly confused how these things became drinking festivals scheduled months out, with bands and crazy parties, but somehow we did and now the party just starts on the closest Friday for many. So be careful and be safe and be responsible and enjoy your now Cinco de Mayo (which makes no sense, but whatever).

I'm going to jump out and wish you guys a great Friday and remind everyone to be kind to each other and try a little harder to have a great day! I'm coming back Monday and we'll be bringing more good times your way. Feel free to check out my digital short story The Wilson House or buy a shirt from Side Hustle Ts where $.50 from every shirt is donated to a good cause or listen to Nerd Thug Radio or support our Patreon Page. Thoughts, complaints, events and comments can be sent to corydlg@gmail.com.

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Baseball is right around the corner. Photo by Elsa/Getty Images.

The Texans and Rockets are disasters, so bring on the Astros! Even if they weren't disasters, bring on the Astros! Their spring training opener is Sunday, their regular season opener one month from Monday. Alexander Pope wrote "hope springs eternal." I hear he played a pretty decent shortstop. All 30 Major League Baseball teams can be hopeful in March. The Astros have plenty to be hopeful about and plenty about which to be wary. A couple of early storylines: 1. Yuli Gurriel admitted he was unacceptably overweight last season. It would be great for the Astros if that explains most of Gurriel's pathetic performance as opposed to age catching up with him. 2. Jose Altuve is in great spirits and health. His MVP level days of 2016 and 2017 are likely gone for good, but getting the Altuve of 2018 or 2019 would be a tremendous boost. The Altuve of 2020 was one of the worst players in MLB.

And now to the dueling debacles…

Rough stretch for the Rockets

The Rockets are awful. They sit with 11 wins and 19 losses. Just three seasons ago they lost 17 games the entire season. They are routinely non-competitive. They lug a nine game losing streak to the court Friday night in Tampa against the Toronto Raptors. Among the losses are blowouts by 20, 22, 25, and 29 points. All of those routs came against teams with losing records. By NBA standards the Rockets' roster stinks. The injured Christian Wood is the only player they have who is or projects to be an average or better starter. John Wall's contract is an anvil.

That they are this bad is actually one of the few silver linings to the Rockets' near term future. The Rockets only retain their first round pick this summer if it falls in the top four of the draft. The Rockets currently have the fourth worst record in the NBA, just one half game ahead of third worst! Where the pick falls comes down to which draft lottery ping pong ball combination is drawn, but the worse their record the better shot the Rockets have of being in the top four. If not in the top four, the Rockets settle for the lowest of their own, Oklahoma City's, or Miami's first rounder. That's probably the Heat pick, and probably not in the top 15.

The longest losing streak in Rockets' franchise history is 17. During their expansion season the San Diego Rockets lost 17 straight. The longest losing streak in Houston Rockets' history is 15 games during the 2001-02 season. They finished the season 28-54. How many of their five most frequent 2001-02 starters can you name? Answer below.

The worst team in Rockets' history was the tanking and awful 1982-83 club that finished 14-68. Longest losing streak that season? 10. The first 10 games of the season.

Releasing JJ Watt might have been a mistake

The Texans are poised to add yet another feather to their dunce cap if J.J. Watt signs with the Packers, Bills, Titans, Roughnecks, Inmates (The Longest Yard) or anybody else for 15-plus million dollars per season. Such a deal would indicate at least one team would have been willing to give up a decent draft pick (say a third rounder) for Watt and the one year 17.5 million that was left on his contract. If the Texans think they score points for doing Watt "a solid" in setting him free they are absurdly mistaken. The Texans need all the draft capital they can get. J.J. Watt will always have a hallowed place in Texans' lore but they owed Watt nothing. Over the last five seasons he played just three seasons worth of football and was paid 82.5 million dollars for them.

More Deshaun Watson drama

Meanwhile, Deshaun Watson reportedly directly told new Texans Head Coach Edward Smith that Watson has no interest in playing for him. It's nothing personal against David Culley (Edward Smith captained the Titanic) but Watson wants the Texans' organization permanently in his rearview mirror. We'll see if Cal McNair and new General Manager Nick Caserio have the stomach to not trade Watson through the draft. If the Dolphins offer Tua Tagavailoa, the third and eighteenth picks in the first round, the fourth pick in the second round, and their first round pick in 2022, the Texans should make the trade and move on.

Buzzer Beaters:

1. Rockets' starters by most starts in 2001-02: Cuttino Mobley (74) Kelvin Cato (73) Kenny Thomas (71) Steve Francis (56) Moochie Norris (26).

2. It can't soothe Rocket fan nerves that the best bet for the Eastern Conference Final matchup is James Harden's Nets vs. Daryl Morey's 76ers.

3. Most frustrating 2021 Houston-visiting player appearances: Bronze-Harden the Net Wednesday Silver-George Springer the Blue Jay in May Gold-Watt the Titan this fall? Would he really sign with the Titans?

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