Raheel Ramzanali: A snarky look at the top NFL prospects for 2019

Raheel Ramzanali: A snarky look at the top NFL prospects for 2019
Ed Oliver should have been in the draft out of high school. Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images

With the end of every draft season comes the start of the usual, and predictable, draft cycle for the following year. I wanted to get a jump start on my 2019 Draft Coverage by putting out my list of every prospect that will get hot with draft talk as the season progresses. Not much changes every year so this list could be used almost every draft season:

  1. Prototypical Pocket QB with a Big Arm, QB. Underachieving Power 5 School - He’s the guy that teams tank for because in the NFL you need a QB to win it all. It doesn’t matter that this guy’s team didn’t make it to the College Football Playoffs because well he didn’t have enough talent. Scouts will love this kid’s arm and poise in the pocket because it fits the NFL. He might not be the best athlete in the draft, but man, he fits the mold. Nevermind that teams will start using more explosive QBs with offenses built around their strengths because this guy, well THIS GUY, has it all for an unimaginative NFL offense.

  2. Looks the Part Defensive End, DE. Middle of the Pack SEC Team - If you can’t build through a QB then you better start thinking about the defensive line because disruption. Sure, this guy doesn’t have the ungodly numbers that you might want from a defensive end in terms of sacks, but my god does he disrupt. He’s the most talented player in this year’s draft, but because he has no other players around him, his team is just meh and we’re OK with it because disruption!

  3. Really Good Running Back That Could Never Go Number 1 Because NFL, RB, A Big 10 School - I get it, there is no value at taking a really good running back high in the draft because you can always find a gem later in the draft so we can’t rank this guy too high just yet. Sure, he’ll measure really well and maybe even be the no.1 draft pick in some mock drafts following the combine, but soon we will all come back to Earth and put him in his place by dropping him down the rankings. This guy can get you tough yards and catch out of the backfield, but he’s still not good enough to be the consensus number 1 pick because NFL.

  4. Franchise Saving Offensive Lineman for Your Franchise QB, OT, A School In a State That Exports Meat or Cheese - Boy, they sure do grow em big in <insert any school in the Big 10 or SEC>, don’t they?! I know O-line picks aren’t sexy, but damn they make sense so you have to insert one in the top 5.

  5. Talented QB That Nobody Really Watches All Season Long but Has All the Tools, QB, Some School That has a Farm Animal as a Mascot - Every year all the draft pundits fall in love with a QB from a small school because he has this “tools” that nobody else has in a bigger conference. I’m not sure how scouts always find this unicorn every year because if I was a scout and I happened to find this magical QB, I wouldn’t tell anybody about him and just scoop him up way later in the draft. But every year, somehow these guys get run. Who let’s the secret out?! I know who - The Belluminati.

  6. Uber Talented Defensive Player That Should’ve Been Allowed to Enter The Draft at 18, DT, Houston - Ugh, I wish Ed Oliver was allowed to enter right out of high school.

  7. This Wide Receiver Can Be a Game Changer, But The Drama Might Not Be Worth It, WR, A Pac-12 That Always Plays at 10:30 P.M. on Saturday Nights So Nobody Ever Watches Him - Stop with the lies, you’ve never watched this receiver play. The only person I know that watches late Pac-12 football is Del Olaleye and even the thinks this guy isn’t worth the pick.

  8. Alabama’s Best Defensive Player, LB, Alabama - Sometimes you just have to take the most beast guy from the most stacked team in the nation as your pick. Would this kid have been great at another school? Absolutely. But because he went to Alabama has a 5-star, there will be no doubt in his game and abilities so he will crack the top 10.  

  9. This Guy Is a Winner, QB, A College Football Playoff School - This kid just wins. He might have the most flaws of everyone in the top 10, but there is no measurement for that winning DNA. WE LOVE A WINNER!

  10. Another O-line Stud, G, Big 10 School - Again, gotta get the big dudes up here because we need to protect the investment!

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