KEEPING IT RAHEEL
Raheel Ramzanali: Some other icons Kendrick Perkins might have missed out on besides Chewbacca
May 22, 2018, 7:02 am
Do you know this wookie? Kendrick Perkins does not. Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
The NBA Playoffs isn’t short of good stories this year, but the strangest story thus far has to be Kendrick Perkins not knowing anything about Chewbacca. Chewy has been in the zeitgeist since 1977, when Star Wars first hit the big screen so Perkins not knowing who he is has to be the most mind-blowing story yet.
Look, I get that Kendrick has dedicated his life to being a professional basketball player so I won’t use this prime real estate to destroy him for not knowing who Chewbacca is ; I’m the same age as Kendrick so I wanted to take the time to catch him up on other really really really popular and “new” things that he should know about as he maneuvers through life. These are things he should recognize right away if they were sitting courtside:
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Back to the Future - While not as old as Star Wars, this classic film series has some of the most recognizable pop culture references known to man. From the self-lacing shoes that Nike recently recreated to the jaw-dropping Delorean, Back to the Future references are as important as Chewbacca. Oh, and hoverboard!
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Barney - The big purple dinosaur was once the most-known kid programming character ever and if he sat down courtside, it would be a huge deal. I know Barney is now a tantric sex therapist, but that shouldn’t take away from his pop culture recall.
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The Avengers - Come on, even Kendrick knows about the Avengers.
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Pogs - Man, just unfollow me if you weren’t down with Pogs growing up. Pogs were the Beanie Babies for cool dudes. It was a life changer when Pogs teamed up with Michael Jordan to release the ultimate collaboration for sports fan. You think Supreme x Louis Vuitton was popular? Psh, Pogs x MJ was it!
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Michael Jordan - For some reason Kendrick strikes me as a guy that totally ignored the existence of Michael Jordan so he has no idea about His Airness.
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Crying Jordan Meme - If he doesn’t know MJ, there’s no way he knows about the MJ Crying Meme.
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The MJ vs LeBron Debate - Hey Kendrick, all the cool kids are doing it so you better be up on this pop culture trend where we must take sides and destroy the other side’s legacy.
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98 Degrees - You can keep your Backstreet Boys and N*Sync, I’m here for the legacy of 98 Degrees and Nick Lachey. He was the original “damn I feel so bad for him being married to her” reality star. Even though he was with prime Jessica Simpson, he was also the first true reality star where we saw just how miserable one guy could be married to a famous pop icon.
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Red Velvet Cupcakes - For a stretch there in 2010, Red Velvet Cupcakes were all we talked about in everyday conversation. This one cupcake generated thousands of cupcake shops and even a television show where we celebrated war, but the only casualty was deliciousness - This is Cupcake Wars.
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Smartphones - Kendrick is gonna lose it when he learns about these “new” things that make life so much easier, yet tear us apart as humans.
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Lil Tay - Honestly, I don’t even know what a Lil Tay is so I can’t speak on this one, but I know most people know about this trend.
The expanded College Football Playoff has a decidedly old-school feel: Smothering defenses have carried the last four teams still in the hunt for the national championship.
If you want offense, look elsewhere this weekend. The defenses, with All-Americans spread throughout the lineups, are the story of the semifinals. Ohio State, Texas, Penn State and Notre Dame all rank among the top eight defenses nationally this season.
The No. 8 seed Buckeyes (12-2) meet the No. 5 Longhorns (13-2) in the Cotton Bowl on Friday night. The Buckeyes are No. 1 in total defense and scoring defense. Texas is ranked third and fourth, respectively.
The Orange Bowl matchup Thursday night between No. 7 Notre Dame (13-1) and No. 6 Penn State (13-2) feature run-stuffing defenses that shut down Georgia and Boise State's Ashton Jeanty, the nation's top running back, in the quarterfinals.
Buckeyes quarterback Will Howard, who was 0-3 against Texas when he was at Kansas State before transferring, summed up the Longhorns defense this way: “They got some dudes, man,” Howard said.
Dudes indeed. Everywhere.
Longhorns senior cornerback Jahae Barron won the Thorpe Award as the nation's top defensive back. Edge rusher Colin Simmons has a team-high nine sacks and won the Shaun Alexander Award as the nation's top freshman.
Barron leads a deep, experienced and physical secondary that has punished receivers and anchored a defense that has produced turnovers in 23 consecutive games, the longest streak in the country.
In the quarterfinal win over Arizona State, safety Michael Taaffe's late-game hit on a receiver on the final drive of regulation was reviewed for targeting before it was determined to be legal, and Andrew Mukuba sealed the victory with an interception near the goal line in the double overtime thriller that ended 39-31, the most points Texas has allowed this season.
“I think our defense has been tremendous all year,” Texas coach Steve Sarkisian said. “As far as football goes, hey, we don’t play flag football, man. This isn’t seven-on-seven. This is tackle football. We believe in playing a physical brand of football. We try to do it the right way within the rules.”
Next up for the Texas secondary is trying to corral dazzling Buckeyes freshman receiver Jeremiah Smith.
“You know, that kid can ball. He’s a big baller. Strong, strong ability. He’s a deep threat," Barron said. "He’s a physical player, and I’ll have to be physical.
Ohio State can bully opponents too, with bookend pass rushers J.T. Tuimoloau and Jack Sawyer and All-American safety Caleb Downs on the back end. The Buckeyes have allowed just 12.1 points per game, just one 300-yard passer and two 100-yard rushers all season.
When top seed Oregon beat Ohio State at midseason, Ducks quarterback Dillon Gabriel had a clean pocket all afternoon. In the Rose Bowl rematch, the No. 8-seeded Buckeyes sacked him eight times, with two each from Tuimoloau and Sawyer.
“When we’re executing and we’re at a high level, it’s hard to do anything with us,” Buckeyes defensive tackle Tyleik Williams said. “The most violent team, the team that plays the fastest, executes the most, and exceeds their game plan the most is going to win this game.”
Notre Dame and Penn State will feature their own style of violence in South Florida. Bowl. Both units rank in the top 10 in total defense and scoring defense.
After cruising past Indiana in the first round, the No. 7 seed Irish held No. 2 Georgia to 62 yards rushing and 10 points. Notre Dame forced two turnovers, and stopped the Bulldogs on all three fourth-down attempts, most notably inside the Irish 10 with just under 10 minutes left.
And they did it despite being without standout defensive tackle Rylie Mills, who was knocked out of the playoffs with a knee injury in a quarterfinals win over Indiana.
Still anchoring the Irish defense is safety Xavier Watts, a two-time AP All-American, who has six interceptions this season.
Penn State ranked fifth nationally against the run this season, allowing just 101 yards per game. In their quarterfinal win over Boise State, the Nittany Lions held Jeanty to a season-low 104 yards and forced an early fumble.
Penn State took a hit in that game when All-American defensive end Abdul Carter, the Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year, left early with an unspecified upper body injury and did not return.
Carter leads Penn State with 11 sacks and is second among all FBS players with 21 1/2 tackles for loss this season. Nittany Lions coach James Franklin seemed optimistic that Carter could return this week, even if he stopped short of saying he would.
“At this point, I don’t think there’s anything that is stopping him from playing,” Franklin said Saturday.