GLASS HALF FULL?
Here are 3 positives to offset Texans' harsh reality
Oct 5, 2021, 1:54 pm
What is David Culley seeing that isn't there? Composite image by Jack Brame.
Remember when former Texans coach Bill O'Brien sucked up losses with "it's on me," and Texans owner Cal McNair rewarded O'Brien's confessed ineptitude by giving him more money and more power?
Now we have Texans rookie coach David Culley explaining the team's humiliating, worst-ever, 40-0 defeat on Sunday by admitting, "I did not have them ready to play. I've got to do a better job. We got out-coached today. We just played bad football and that starts with the head coach."
What's gonna happen next – McNair gives Culley part-ownership of the Texans? This is how things are done in the Bizarro World, not the NFL.
Culley, who spent three decades in the NFL without a head coaching offer, is showing us why. He watched third-round pick Davis Mills exploit the Buffalo Bills defense for 11-21 completions, 87 yards, no touchdowns (obviously), three sacks, four picks and a puny 23.4 quarterback rating ... and said he's not looking to bring in another quarterback. What is Culley seeing that isn't there? The Texans would have done better with a running back in the wildcat. At least a running back can run.
It's not like the Texans are committed to Mills as their starter and he might benefit from taking his lumps now. He's just a seat-filler until Tyrod Taylor heals up. Getting his head handed to him is not going to make Mills a better quarterback. Remember how David Carr never recovered from his disastrous first year with the newborn Texans? Carr was a tackling dummy in 2002, and still holds the NFL single-season record for getting sacked – 76 times. Don't tell me, well, Troy Aikman's Cowboys went 1-15 and Peyton Manning's Colts were 3-13 in their rookie seasons.
Davis Mills ain't Aikman or Manning. You have eyes, did you see a future Hall of Famer out there Sunday? The most optimistic, glass-half-filled comment I heard about the game was, "at least the defense played OK for a half."
For a half.
Before the season started, I predicted that the Texans would be underdogs every game and finish 0-17, a new record for horribleness in the NFL. I was wrong, it's on me. I underestimated how truly awful and even worse the Jacksonville Jaguars are. Last year, the Jags won their first game and then ran the table with 15 consecutive losses (and still counting, by the way). All eyes are on the Dec. 19 Texans-Jaguars rematch in Jacksonville. I'm thinking it will be pick'em.
What are the positives?
1. Thanks to the Jaguars, the Texans don't even have the most embarrassing coach in the league. At least Culley hasn't been caught dealing with soul-crushing defeat by having a young blonde grind on him in a bar while his wife is home watching the grandkids. Let's go to the video and zero in on Urban Meyer's right hand.
Is Urban Meyer practicing his snaps under center here?
pic.twitter.com/4xVLQ3HcFb
— CJ Errickson (@CJErrickson_NFL) October 3, 2021
This episode isn't done and it's not going to end well for Meyer. His players reportedly dislike him and he's portrayed as a clown show by NFL media. More important, and really the be all, his team is 0-4. Of course if he pulled this crap in Houston, he'd get a promotion.
Yeah, things aren't going peachy for the Texans in 2021. The team's decades-old streak of sold-out crowds has ended, the natives are restless online, and the team is circling the drain. Fan support is dwindling. And this is Texas, where football is supposed to reign supreme.
2. You want tickets to a Texans game? The team's official website has all you want, and there are thousands of tickets available on secondary market sites. You can get a ticket for next week's home game against the Patriots for the low, low price of $59. That's what a 1-3 record and an out-coached coach will get ya. Let's go comparison shopping. The cheapest ticket available online for the next Green Bay Packers home game - $209. Three times as much for three times as many wins.
3. Of course we can look on the bright side of the Texans humbling 40-0 beatdown by Buffalo. While it's the worst loss in Texans history, it's nowhere close to the most lopsided margin of defeat in NFL history. In 1940, the Chicago Bears walloped the Washington Redskins, 73-0, in the NFL Championship Game, as the title game was known then. Mind you the game was played in Washington in front of a sold-out stadium with 36,034 hometown fans.
It's not known if the Washington coach later said, "It's on me."
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With the Astros now officially ten games under .500 for the season, manager Joe Espada is taking a lot of heat from the fanbase for the team's struggles.
While we don't agree with the sentiment, we even hear fans clamoring for the return of Dusty Baker and Martin Maldonado, thinking the Astros wouldn't be in this mess if they were still here.
Which is ridiculous. First of all, Maldonado has been awful for the White Sox, hitting .048 (even worse than Jose Abreu's .065). And for those of you that think his work with the pitching staff justifies his pathetic offense. Let me say this: Where was Maldy's game calling genius for Hunter Brown, Cristian Javier, and Framber Valdez last year? All of them regressed significantly.
And as far as Baker is concerned, we have no idea how much a difference he would make, we can only speculate. Baker would also be dealing with a pitching staff ravaged with injuries. And let's not forget, Baker was the guy that refused to move Jose Abreu down in the batting order, even though he would finish the regular season with the ninth-worst OPS in baseball.
The reality of the situation is managers can only do so much in baseball. Which leads us to something else that needs to be considered. Is Espada being handcuffed by the front office? Espada and GM Dana Brown both said recently that Jon Singleton was going to get more at-bats while they give Abreu time off to try to figure things out. Yet, there Abreu was in the lineup again in the opening game of the Cubs series.
It makes us wonder how much power does Espada truly have? The Astros have some other options at first base. Yainer Diaz may only have eight games played at the position, but how much worse could he be than Abreu defensively? Abreu already has four errors, and Diaz is obviously a way better hitter. Victor Caratini isn't considered a plus offensive player, but his .276 batting average makes him look like Babe Ruth compared to Abreu. Let him catch more often and play Diaz at first. Starting Diaz at first more often could also lengthen his career long-term.
Maybe that's too wild of a move. Okay, fine. How about playing Mauricio Dubon at first base? I understand he doesn't have much experience at that position, but what's the downside of trying him there? If he can play shortstop, he can play first base. He's driving in runs at a higher rate (11 RBIs) than everyone on the team outside of Kyle Tucker and Yordan Alvarez. And he's producing like that as part-time player right now.
The other criticism we see of Espada is his use of Jon Singleton to pinch hit late in games. Let's be real, though, who else does Espada have on the roster to go to? Batting Abreu late in games in which you're trailing should be considered malpractice. Espada can only use who he has to work with. This all really stems from the Astros poor farm system.
They don't have anyone else to turn to. The draft picks the club lost from the sign-stealing scandal are really hurting them right now. First and second rounders from 2020 and 2021 should be helping you in 2024 at the big league level.
Maybe they go to Astros prospect Joey Loperfido soon, but after a hot start he has only two hits in his last six games.
Finally, we have to talk about what seems like a committee making baseball decisions. Lost in a committee is accountability. Who gets the blame for making poor decisions?
As time continues to pass it looks like moving on from former GM James Click was a massive mistake. He's the guy that didn't sign Abreu, but did trade Myles Straw (recently DFA'd) for Yainer Diaz and Phil Maton. He also built an elite bullpen without breaking the bank, and helped the club win a World Series in 2022.
The reality of the situation is Dusty Baker and James Click are not walking back through that door. And all good runs come to an end at some point. Is this what we're witnessing?
Don't miss the video above as we hit on all the points discussed and much more!
Catch Stone Cold 'Stros (an Astros podcast) with Charlie Pallilo, Brandon Strange, and Josh Jordan. We drop two episodes every week on SportsMapHouston's YouTube channel. You can also listen on Apple Podcast, Spotifyor wherever you get your podcasts.