GLASS HALF FULL?
Here are 3 positives to offset Texans' harsh reality
Remember when former Texans coach Bill O'Brien sucked up losses with "it's on me," and Texans owner Cal McNair rewarded O'Brien's confessed ineptitude by giving him more money and more power?
Now we have Texans rookie coach David Culley explaining the team's humiliating, worst-ever, 40-0 defeat on Sunday by admitting, "I did not have them ready to play. I've got to do a better job. We got out-coached today. We just played bad football and that starts with the head coach."
What's gonna happen next – McNair gives Culley part-ownership of the Texans? This is how things are done in the Bizarro World, not the NFL.
Culley, who spent three decades in the NFL without a head coaching offer, is showing us why. He watched third-round pick Davis Mills exploit the Buffalo Bills defense for 11-21 completions, 87 yards, no touchdowns (obviously), three sacks, four picks and a puny 23.4 quarterback rating ... and said he's not looking to bring in another quarterback. What is Culley seeing that isn't there? The Texans would have done better with a running back in the wildcat. At least a running back can run.
It's not like the Texans are committed to Mills as their starter and he might benefit from taking his lumps now. He's just a seat-filler until Tyrod Taylor heals up. Getting his head handed to him is not going to make Mills a better quarterback. Remember how David Carr never recovered from his disastrous first year with the newborn Texans? Carr was a tackling dummy in 2002, and still holds the NFL single-season record for getting sacked – 76 times. Don't tell me, well, Troy Aikman's Cowboys went 1-15 and Peyton Manning's Colts were 3-13 in their rookie seasons.
Davis Mills ain't Aikman or Manning. You have eyes, did you see a future Hall of Famer out there Sunday? The most optimistic, glass-half-filled comment I heard about the game was, "at least the defense played OK for a half."
For a half.
Before the season started, I predicted that the Texans would be underdogs every game and finish 0-17, a new record for horribleness in the NFL. I was wrong, it's on me. I underestimated how truly awful and even worse the Jacksonville Jaguars are. Last year, the Jags won their first game and then ran the table with 15 consecutive losses (and still counting, by the way). All eyes are on the Dec. 19 Texans-Jaguars rematch in Jacksonville. I'm thinking it will be pick'em.
What are the positives?
1. Thanks to the Jaguars, the Texans don't even have the most embarrassing coach in the league. At least Culley hasn't been caught dealing with soul-crushing defeat by having a young blonde grind on him in a bar while his wife is home watching the grandkids. Let's go to the video and zero in on Urban Meyer's right hand.
Is Urban Meyer practicing his snaps under center here?
— CJ Errickson (@CJErrickson_NFL) October 3, 2021
This episode isn't done and it's not going to end well for Meyer. His players reportedly dislike him and he's portrayed as a clown show by NFL media. More important, and really the be all, his team is 0-4. Of course if he pulled this crap in Houston, he'd get a promotion.
Yeah, things aren't going peachy for the Texans in 2021. The team's decades-old streak of sold-out crowds has ended, the natives are restless online, and the team is circling the drain. Fan support is dwindling. And this is Texas, where football is supposed to reign supreme.
2. You want tickets to a Texans game? The team's official website has all you want, and there are thousands of tickets available on secondary market sites. You can get a ticket for next week's home game against the Patriots for the low, low price of $59. That's what a 1-3 record and an out-coached coach will get ya. Let's go comparison shopping. The cheapest ticket available online for the next Green Bay Packers home game - $209. Three times as much for three times as many wins.
3. Of course we can look on the bright side of the Texans humbling 40-0 beatdown by Buffalo. While it's the worst loss in Texans history, it's nowhere close to the most lopsided margin of defeat in NFL history. In 1940, the Chicago Bears walloped the Washington Redskins, 73-0, in the NFL Championship Game, as the title game was known then. Mind you the game was played in Washington in front of a sold-out stadium with 36,034 hometown fans.
It's not known if the Washington coach later said, "It's on me."