Doomsday is not quite the end of the world

Doomsday hits Houston: The best wrasslin’ show in Texas

Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com

Being owner of Houston Tourism Gym, I make it my business to know all I can about our wonderful city of Houston, Texas. All the fun stuff. Stuff that teaches. Stuff that makes you feel creative. And quirky stuff. Speaking of quirky stuff, let me tell you about Doomsday Wrestling.

One day, I walked into the new brewery in town, Sigma in Eado (It was 2016). After walking about 16 miles that day, I was in serious need of 08/29/97, their signature IPA (they named it for the date of Doomsday in Terminator 2). As I was enjoying my refreshing brew, I noticed a ruckus in the brew room.

Owners Nick and David look at each other with sly grins and tell me to take a look. I open the double doors to the back of the brewery. I'm taken aback at the sight of two grown men and one woman body slamming each other in a full sized ring. All of a sudden, I'm approached by Tex Lonestar. He is a tall, overly friendly man who speaks with a southern accent. If you are old enough to remember on Three's Company, when Jack Tripper's cousin, Tex, would visit from Texas (It was really John Ritter doing this hilarious Texan accent)…that's Tex Lonestar.

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's the best wrasslin' show in all of Texas. I'm Tex Lonestar, the announcer. This is my daughter Charlene Lonestar. The lady in the ring is Hot Flash because she over 50, and the gentleman is Bojaffo, the genie. Are you coming to our show?

This was my introduction into quirky Houston. It was a few months before I was finally able to see them in show. I was impressed. One night, I was out walking (go figure). I ended up at the Moon Tower Inn on Canal St. As I walked up, I saw the full sized ring. Tex Lonestar steps into the ring. He is now dressed in an old country suit that you would see Meryl Haggard or Kenny Rogers wear in the late 70's.

The title match that night was supposed to be between the Top Banana (known for his humility, not!) and the Lunchador. However, the Lunchador ate himself into a food coma. Tex Lonestar beckons him in the ring. The Luchador wobbles in and immediately collapses at Tex's feet. Unable to resuscitate him, they roll him off the stage.

Russian Cub shows Cream Street who's boss.

They are also known for their wacky duos like Milk and Cookies, the Russian Bear and Cub, and of course, Cream Street.So Cream Street is comprised of two brothers Cody and Cory Cream. It is unknown whether they are actually porn stars, but it is highly suggested. They will be the ones dressed in tight spandex, fuchsia daisy dukes with turquoise midriff tops. Every time they enter the ring, without fail, they are accompanied by Ginuwine singing his sexy lyrics: "If your'e horny, jump on it….." You know the words.

Cream Street kicking some ass!

Also noteworthy is the unique talents of the wrestlers. Bojoffo can turn Lunchador's Snickers into carrot sticks. Animalia acts like an animal. La Dee Da, a millennial armed with an Instagram account and an iPhone, has the ability to be blaze blaze about everything. Twerkules will twerk you to death or at least hump the ring as he enters it. And I suggest you be very afraid of Cody and Cory Cream when they pin you down. They tend to rub their balls on your hand, your face, whatever is closest. They don't care.

Whether you think it is hilarious, stupid, or the grossest thing ever, your Doomsday experience will definitely be memorable. You can have a chance to see for yourself. The next show: Spring Break Your Face takes place on March 30. The title fight is between the Top Banana and Monkey Boy.

I'll even make it easy. You can join me on a 6-mile adventure to the Doomsday Wrestling Show. You'll be wondering what the hell, why the hell, how the hell did I get here. To reserve your spot, email info@tourismgymhtx.com with the phrase: I'm going to Doomsday.

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Houston goes up 1-0 in the series

Altuve, Correa help lift Astros to ALCS Game 1 win over Red Sox

Carlos Correa's go-ahead homer in the seventh inning of ALCS Game 1 helped lift the Astros to a 1-0 series lead. Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

Despite one rough loss to the White Sox in the ALDS, the Astros looked like the dominant team they are capable of being, taking that series 3-1 to advance and taking ownership of home-field advantage in the ALCS against the Red Sox, who upset the Rays. In Game 1, despite trailing for the middle portions of the game, Houston would get more highlight moments from the faces of the franchise to start the series with a win.

Final Score: Astros 5, Red Sox 4

ALCS Series (Best of Seven): Houston leads 1-0

Winning Pitcher: Ryne Stanek

Losing Pitcher: Hansel Robles

Houston strikes first, but Boston sends Valdez to an early exit

Both starting pitchers worked in and out of trouble in the early goings of ALCS Game 1, starting with Framber Valdez in the top of the first. After erasing a leadoff single by inducing a double play, he went on to load the bases on a single and two walks but would strand all three runners to keep Boston off the board. The Astros jumped in front in the bottom half, with Jose Altuve working a leadoff walk, moving to second on a one-out single by Alex Bregman, advancing to third on a wild pitch, then ultimately scoring on a sac fly by Yordan Alvarez to put Houston ahead 1-0 after one frame.

They had a chance to extend their lead in the bottom of the second, taking advantage of a shaky inning by Chris Sale, who loaded the bases with one out as Houston would get two singles and a hit-by-pitch. That flipped the order over to the top, but a great diving catch by former Astro Kiké Hernández would end the inning. Hernández led off the top of the third against Valdez, and he would tie things up with a solo homer.

Things went downhill from there for Valdez and the Astros, as a one-out walk followed by a single gave the Red Sox the go-ahead run in scoring position. On a groundball that likely should have been a double play to end the inning, it would get through Altuve's legs, scoring a run and keeping the inning alive for Boston. They took advantage, getting an RBI double to extend their new lead to 3-1. Valdez would get one more out before Dusty Baker would give him the early hook, bringing in Yimi Garcia, who finished the frame.

A battle of the bullpens, Altuve ties it up

Like Valdez, Sale would also not make it through three innings, getting two outs while putting two on base before Boston would start their bullpen's night as well. Both sets of relievers settled the game down, with the Red Sox stranding two of Houston's runners in the third as well as the fifth, maintaining their two-run lead. After Garcia finished the third, Cristian Javier entered to eat up a couple of innings, and he would do just that by getting through two frames with just one hit, four strikeouts, and no runs.

Next, Phil Maton took over in the top of the sixth and erased a leadoff walk to keep things in striking distance for the home team. In the bottom of the sixth, Houston put another runner on base, getting a one-out single by Chas McCormick. Two batters later, with two outs, Jose Altuve provided yet another career postseason highlight, tying the game 3-3 with a two-run home to re-energize the Minute Maid Park crowd.

Astros take ALCS Game 1

Now a brand new ballgame in the top of the seventh, Brooks Raley came in to face three batters, getting two strikeouts while allowing a single before Dusty Baker would move on to Ryne Stanek, who would get the third out. With two outs in the bottom of the seventh, Carlos Correa continued his march to a monster off-season contract, putting Houston back on top with a solo homer, making it 4-3.

Houston kept the script after Stanek with the new lead in hand, going to Kendall Graveman as the setup man in the top of the eighth. Despite a two-out single, he would get out of the inning with the lead intact, putting Houston three outs away from the victory. After a walk, single, and hit by pitch to start the bottom of the eighth with the bases loaded, Altuve would drive in his third run of the game, getting a sac fly to extend the lead to two runs at 5-3.

That insurance run proved pivotal, as closer Ryan Pressly was met with a leadoff solo home run by Hernandez, his second of the night for Boston, to make it 5-4. Pressly refocused and was able to get the next three batters in order, though, wrapping up the win to start Houston off with a 1-0 series lead and putting them three wins away from advancing to the World Series.

Up Next: The two teams will have a moderately quick turnaround, with ALCS Game 2 scheduled to start at 3:20 PM Central on Saturday ahead of NLCS Game 1 between the Dodgers and Braves getting the night slot. The pitching matchup is expected to be Nathan Eovaldi for Boston, who is 1-0 with a 2.61 ERA in his two starts this postseason, going opposite Luis Garcia, who had a rough outing in the ALDS for Houston, giving up five runs without completing three innings in Chicago.

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