Doomsday is not quite the end of the world

Doomsday hits Houston: The best wrasslin’ show in Texas

Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com

Being owner of Houston Tourism Gym, I make it my business to know all I can about our wonderful city of Houston, Texas. All the fun stuff. Stuff that teaches. Stuff that makes you feel creative. And quirky stuff. Speaking of quirky stuff, let me tell you about Doomsday Wrestling.

One day, I walked into the new brewery in town, Sigma in Eado (It was 2016). After walking about 16 miles that day, I was in serious need of 08/29/97, their signature IPA (they named it for the date of Doomsday in Terminator 2). As I was enjoying my refreshing brew, I noticed a ruckus in the brew room.

Owners Nick and David look at each other with sly grins and tell me to take a look. I open the double doors to the back of the brewery. I'm taken aback at the sight of two grown men and one woman body slamming each other in a full sized ring. All of a sudden, I'm approached by Tex Lonestar. He is a tall, overly friendly man who speaks with a southern accent. If you are old enough to remember on Three's Company, when Jack Tripper's cousin, Tex, would visit from Texas (It was really John Ritter doing this hilarious Texan accent)…that's Tex Lonestar.

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's the best wrasslin' show in all of Texas. I'm Tex Lonestar, the announcer. This is my daughter Charlene Lonestar. The lady in the ring is Hot Flash because she over 50, and the gentleman is Bojaffo, the genie. Are you coming to our show?

This was my introduction into quirky Houston. It was a few months before I was finally able to see them in show. I was impressed. One night, I was out walking (go figure). I ended up at the Moon Tower Inn on Canal St. As I walked up, I saw the full sized ring. Tex Lonestar steps into the ring. He is now dressed in an old country suit that you would see Meryl Haggard or Kenny Rogers wear in the late 70's.

The title match that night was supposed to be between the Top Banana (known for his humility, not!) and the Lunchador. However, the Lunchador ate himself into a food coma. Tex Lonestar beckons him in the ring. The Luchador wobbles in and immediately collapses at Tex's feet. Unable to resuscitate him, they roll him off the stage.

Russian Cub shows Cream Street who's boss.

They are also known for their wacky duos like Milk and Cookies, the Russian Bear and Cub, and of course, Cream Street.So Cream Street is comprised of two brothers Cody and Cory Cream. It is unknown whether they are actually porn stars, but it is highly suggested. They will be the ones dressed in tight spandex, fuchsia daisy dukes with turquoise midriff tops. Every time they enter the ring, without fail, they are accompanied by Ginuwine singing his sexy lyrics: "If your'e horny, jump on it….." You know the words.

Cream Street kicking some ass!

Also noteworthy is the unique talents of the wrestlers. Bojoffo can turn Lunchador's Snickers into carrot sticks. Animalia acts like an animal. La Dee Da, a millennial armed with an Instagram account and an iPhone, has the ability to be blaze blaze about everything. Twerkules will twerk you to death or at least hump the ring as he enters it. And I suggest you be very afraid of Cody and Cory Cream when they pin you down. They tend to rub their balls on your hand, your face, whatever is closest. They don't care.

Whether you think it is hilarious, stupid, or the grossest thing ever, your Doomsday experience will definitely be memorable. You can have a chance to see for yourself. The next show: Spring Break Your Face takes place on March 30. The title fight is between the Top Banana and Monkey Boy.

I'll even make it easy. You can join me on a 6-mile adventure to the Doomsday Wrestling Show. You'll be wondering what the hell, why the hell, how the hell did I get here. To reserve your spot, email info@tourismgymhtx.com with the phrase: I'm going to Doomsday.

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Composite photo by Jack Brame

Former Astros manager Andrew Jay Hinch is on a short list of candidates to become manager of the Detroit Tigers in 2021.

The question is, after being suspended and later fired for his role in the Astros sign-stealing scandal, does A.J. Hinch deserve to manage again in baseball?

It's weird to think because so much has happened in 2020, but Hinch was suspended and fired only nine months ago. His banishment, however, ends in a matter of weeks with the final out of the upcoming World Series. At that point, he will be available to manage the Tigers or any other team. There's a possibility that the Mets are interested. Some were hoping it'd be the Astros, but the Astros are committed to manager Dusty Baker for next year. After that … never say never.

Shortly after getting the Astros ax, Hinch went on MLB TV and apologized for his role in the Astros cheating scandal. Although baseball's investigation said the garbage can banging scheme was "with the exception of (Astros coach Alex) Cora, player-driven and player-executed," Hinch took responsibility as manager and didn't challenge his punishment. No players were punished.

"I still feel responsible and will always feel responsible as the man out front," Hinch said. "As the leader, I was in charge of the team. I put out a statement to apologize. But there is something different to doing it on camera and putting a face to an apology, and saying I'm sorry to the league, to baseball, to fans, to players, to the coaches.

"It happened on my watch. I'm not proud of that. I'll never be proud of it. I didn't like it. But I have to own it. And the commissioner's office made very, very clear that the GM and the manager were in position to make sure that nothing like this happened. And we fell short."

In effect, while Hinch didn't authorize or participate in the sign-stealing scandal, he didn't do enough (really anything) to stop it. He is the rare case of being a guilty bystander.

To be clear, Hinch has not been offered the Detroit manager job. However, he has more experience and more wins under his belt than most of the other candidates being considered.

Hinch's reputation is blemished, but his credentials can't be disputed. During his five years as Astros manager, the team never had a losing season, won 100 or more games three times, including a team record 107 wins last year, made the playoffs three times and won a World Series.

Has baseball forgiven Hinch, and does he deserve another chance to manage in the big leagues? This is America, the land of forgiveness and second chances.

As Mahatma Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Hinch knew his team was cheating and didn't do enough to stop it. There's no defense for that. But I think he's paid enough of a price to get back in baseball.

Mike Tyson raped a woman, went to jail, and now he's practically America's sweetheart. Hillary forgave Bill. We not only forgave Confederate leaders, we built schools and statues to honor them. Martha Stewart went to jail for insider trading, now she's back on TV baking crumpets. Ozzy Osbourne was arrested for pee'ing on a monument outside the Alamo, there is no more sacred place in Texas, and now he sells out concerts at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion.

Pee-wee Herman, well, let's not say what he was caught doing, but he's planning to tour the U.S. celebrating the 35th anniversary of Pee-wee's Big Adventure movie.

Remember, Hinch was suspended for a year. It could have been worse. Baseball commissioner Rob Manfred has the power to ban people for life. Since becoming the commish, Manfred has permanently banished two people: former St. Louis Cardinals scouting director Chris Correa for hacking into the Astros computer database, and former Atlanta Braves general manager, John Coppolella for signing international players illegally.

Manfred also has temporarily banned Astros assistant general manager Brandon Taubman for shouting inappropriate comments at female reporters last year. Taubman is eligible to apply for reinstatement after this year's World Series. However, if he commits one more violation of baseball rules, he will be banned for life.

Lifetime bans aren't as unusual as you might think. Since baseball's beginnings in the 1800s, dozens of players, managers and team owners have been banned, mostly, like Pete Rose and the Chicago Black Sox, for gambling-related offenses.

A.J. Hinch copped to his crime, suffered the consequences, now it's time for him to manage a baseball team again. It's not like he'd be landing a plum job with Detroit. The Tigers are out of this year's playoff picture. They lost 114 games last season. And were 64-98 the two years prior. Managing the Tigers will be punishment enough.

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