Doomsday is not quite the end of the world

Doomsday hits Houston: The best wrasslin’ show in Texas

Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com

Being owner of Houston Tourism Gym, I make it my business to know all I can about our wonderful city of Houston, Texas. All the fun stuff. Stuff that teaches. Stuff that makes you feel creative. And quirky stuff. Speaking of quirky stuff, let me tell you about Doomsday Wrestling.

One day, I walked into the new brewery in town, Sigma in Eado (It was 2016). After walking about 16 miles that day, I was in serious need of 08/29/97, their signature IPA (they named it for the date of Doomsday in Terminator 2). As I was enjoying my refreshing brew, I noticed a ruckus in the brew room.

Owners Nick and David look at each other with sly grins and tell me to take a look. I open the double doors to the back of the brewery. I'm taken aback at the sight of two grown men and one woman body slamming each other in a full sized ring. All of a sudden, I'm approached by Tex Lonestar. He is a tall, overly friendly man who speaks with a southern accent. If you are old enough to remember on Three's Company, when Jack Tripper's cousin, Tex, would visit from Texas (It was really John Ritter doing this hilarious Texan accent)…that's Tex Lonestar.

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's the best wrasslin' show in all of Texas. I'm Tex Lonestar, the announcer. This is my daughter Charlene Lonestar. The lady in the ring is Hot Flash because she over 50, and the gentleman is Bojaffo, the genie. Are you coming to our show?

This was my introduction into quirky Houston. It was a few months before I was finally able to see them in show. I was impressed. One night, I was out walking (go figure). I ended up at the Moon Tower Inn on Canal St. As I walked up, I saw the full sized ring. Tex Lonestar steps into the ring. He is now dressed in an old country suit that you would see Meryl Haggard or Kenny Rogers wear in the late 70's.

The title match that night was supposed to be between the Top Banana (known for his humility, not!) and the Lunchador. However, the Lunchador ate himself into a food coma. Tex Lonestar beckons him in the ring. The Luchador wobbles in and immediately collapses at Tex's feet. Unable to resuscitate him, they roll him off the stage.

Russian Cub shows Cream Street who's boss.

They are also known for their wacky duos like Milk and Cookies, the Russian Bear and Cub, and of course, Cream Street.So Cream Street is comprised of two brothers Cody and Cory Cream. It is unknown whether they are actually porn stars, but it is highly suggested. They will be the ones dressed in tight spandex, fuchsia daisy dukes with turquoise midriff tops. Every time they enter the ring, without fail, they are accompanied by Ginuwine singing his sexy lyrics: "If your'e horny, jump on it….." You know the words.

Cream Street kicking some ass!

Also noteworthy is the unique talents of the wrestlers. Bojoffo can turn Lunchador's Snickers into carrot sticks. Animalia acts like an animal. La Dee Da, a millennial armed with an Instagram account and an iPhone, has the ability to be blaze blaze about everything. Twerkules will twerk you to death or at least hump the ring as he enters it. And I suggest you be very afraid of Cody and Cory Cream when they pin you down. They tend to rub their balls on your hand, your face, whatever is closest. They don't care.

Whether you think it is hilarious, stupid, or the grossest thing ever, your Doomsday experience will definitely be memorable. You can have a chance to see for yourself. The next show: Spring Break Your Face takes place on March 30. The title fight is between the Top Banana and Monkey Boy.

I'll even make it easy. You can join me on a 6-mile adventure to the Doomsday Wrestling Show. You'll be wondering what the hell, why the hell, how the hell did I get here. To reserve your spot, email info@tourismgymhtx.com with the phrase: I'm going to Doomsday.

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Watson's accusers appeared on Real Sports on Tuesday night. Photo by Nick Cammett/Getty Images.

HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel’s heavily promoted and much anticipated examination of Deshaun Watson’s legal mess involving alleged sexual misconduct shed little new light and merely presented a summary of well worn he said/she (x22) said accusations and denials.

The episode debuted Tuesday night on the premium cable service and will be repeated dozens of times throughout the week on HBO’s platforms. Check your local listings for times and channel.

The segment was hosted by Soledad O’Brien who presented compelling face-to-face interviews with two of the quarterback’s accusers: massage therapists Ashley Solis and Kyla Hayes. Their stories were detailed and graphic. Both cried during the interviews.

Solis: “As I’m working, he deliberately grabs himself and put his penis on my hand. I pulled my hand away instantly and I started crying. I told that I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Solis said she felt threatened when Watson, before leaving the session, allegedly told her: “I know you have a career to protect, and I know that you don’t want anyone messing with it, just like I don’t want anyone messing with mine.”

Solis added, “That’s when I got really scared because that sounded like a threat to me.”

Hayes: “He wanted me to kind of make a V motion in his pelvic area. I just kept massaging and did what he asked, until his penis kept touching me repeatedly as I did it.”

Hayes said that Watson had an orgasm, which she said was “mortifying, embarrassing and disgusting.”

O’Brien asked Hayes why she continued to have contact via email with Watson after their encounter.

Hayes: "I wasn't sure what he was capable of. He could've physically assaulted me. He could've bashed my business, so I had to protect myself and my business the best way I saw fit. Did I ever see him again after that? No. Did I give him the runaround? Yes."

O’Brien pointed out that two separate grand juries in Texas heard criminal accusations against Watson and neither found enough evidence to indict him.

Solis and Hayes, and 20 other massage therapists have filed civil suits against Watson. The cases aren’t expected to reach a courtroom until next March. Both sides could reach a settlement before then which would effectively shut down any legal action against Watson. However, both sides say they aren’t interested in any pretrial settlements. That’s what they say now, anyway.

After being banished to the sidelines for the 2021 season by the Houston Texans, Watson signed a historic, 5-year fully guaranteed $230 million contract with the Cleveland Browns.

Hayes said she feels Watson “is being rewarded for bad behavior." Solis said, "It's just like a big screw you. That's what it feels like. That we (the Browns) don't care. He can run and throw, and that's what we care about.”

Watson currently is participating in preseason workouts with the Browns and, at the moment, is cleared to play the upcoming NFL season.

That is unless the NFL suspends Watson for some, most or all of the 2022 season. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has said the league is nearing completion of its independent investigation into Watson’s case and will reach a decision “shortly,” probably this summer. The NFL and NFL Players Association mutually agreed to have former U.S. District Judge Sue Robinson decide whether or not Watson violated the league’s Personal Conduct Policy and what discipline should be handed down if he did.

The Browns are scheduled to play the Texans on Dec. 4 at NRG Stadium in Houston.

O’Brien said, while producing the Real Sports piece, she tried to interview Watson, his attorneys and the Cleveland Browns for their side of the story. All declined.

During a press conference in March to announce his joining the Browns, Watson denied any inappropriate behavior with the massage therapists.

Watson: “I never assaulted any woman. I’ve never disrespected any woman. I was raised to be genuine and respect everyone around me. I’ve never done the thing that these people are alleging. My mom and my aunties didn’t raise me that way.”

Leah Graham, a member of Watson’s legal team, sat for an interview after O’Brien’s segment was complete.

Graham: "It's 22 women. It's one lawyer. There's only one lawyer who was willing to take these cases. And as we know from Ashley Solis’ deposition, Mr. (Houston attorney Tony) Buzbee was not the first, probably not the second or third lawyer she went to, but he was the only one to take her case. Why? Not because it had merit, but because he would use these cases to increase his social media following and quite frankly to get on shows like this one.”

My reaction after watching the Real Sports segment? We weren’t in the room when the massage therapists worked on Watson. We weren’t in the grand jury room when evidence against Watson was presented. We don’t know what happened. We don’t know what will happen if these cases go to trial.

Until then all we have is one big, lurid, embarrassing mess. In American courtrooms, defendants are presumed innocent. That’s often the opposite in the court of public opinion. We’ll just have to wait while the wheels of justice grind painfully slow.

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