Jovan Abernathy is an international marathoner and owner of Houston Tourism Gym. To claim your free tour, contact her at info@tourismgymhtx.com. Follow her on Twitter @jovanabernathy. Instagram @TourismGymHtx. Facebook @TourismGymHtx
With the new year coming up, many people want to turn over a new leaf and make atonement for the mistakes and habits of the year before. I'm not into New Year's Resolutions because I always have something going on. Self improvement should be an ongoing thing. So, instead of a list of what I am going to start to do, here is a list of the things I'm going to stop doing.
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STOP overthinking and over analyzing.
This is also known as paralysis by analysis. It comes from examining an issue so much that no decision or solution gets made. While taking some time to think things through and not being impulsive is commendable, the opposite causes lots of damage. And lots of anxiety, insecurity, depression, and a whole host of other problems. If you stop to think about it, it is just another way to procrastinate. Don't think too long though.
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STOP winging it.
If you are like me, chances are you are a very creative person and thrive on that energy, but too much of a good thing is just that. Too much. It is good to be spontaneous, but there is a difference between spontaneity and just being unprepared and covering it up. If you STOP and think about it, it is selfish, inconsiderate, and irresponsible. We know that we are able-bodied and just as capable as anyone else.
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STOP obsessing about the same old thing.
Have you ever had a bad experience and the memories just will not go away? Maybe you tripped and fell in front of a crowd of people. Maybe you said the wrong thing during a speech. You may have showed up late to an interview or a special engagement that cost you. We all make mistakes. Some have changed the trajectory of our lives. It is not worth it to get stuck in a loop that literally goes nowhere. Please DO what it takes to forgive yourself and move on.
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STOP taking delight in pain.
What does that mean, Jovan? Taking delight in pain comes in a few forms. Gossiping or rejoicing over others misfortunes is one of the most common ways. Listening to music, watching movies, and any other media that makes you angry, sad, or is degrading is another way. Of course, all these things are entertaining, but done at an excess is harmful. Tool and NIN are awesome, but a bender of it can work on your mental health. Instead, go to the park, take some pictures, read a book, or bake something.
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STOP eating out soooo much.
This one is a hard one for me. I'm super busy all the time and have worked in restaurants for 20 years. Restaurants feel more like home than home. If I were to say that I am addicted to anything, it is going out to eat. However, I looked at my account and realized that I was being bled to death, $5, $6, $7 at a time. It is insulting. You may be experiencing the same thing. Also, they say that abs are made in the kitchen. That is a true statement. I look in the mirror and say "Why not me."
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STOP drinking sooo much.
If you are like me, you have a love hate relationship with alcohol. I love craft cocktails, craft beer, and fine wine. It is costly on our health, our pocketbook, our productivity, our fitness, and our time. I like to take the Fred approach to drinking alcohol: I take time off to reclaim control and get my bearings. It is the most realistic I can be.
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STOP prejudging. Period.
Why didn't I say: stop judging others. True, we do judge others, but we judge ourselves even more. This is where we rob ourselves of a lot of amazing opportunities. I wonder if we are judging others to mask the fact that we are actually judging ourselves. We do this to avoid pain and disappointments. In doing this, we rob ourselves of new relationships, new opportunities, and new business experiences. In 2020, I will challenge myself to wait for more information before I judge.
I could go on. I'm just getting warmed up with all the things that I am going to STOP doing in 2020. The point is: it is time to STOP and think about how we think as individuals. I mean to say..that there is a way that YOU and I actually think as individuals. When I think about the person that I want to be, I seriously think about the things that I will think about and talk about as that individual. That is where change is happens. There, it is no longer about looks or status, but long lasting and testable. See you in 2020.
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