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ESPN without sports is like NASA without space. But ESPN is smarter than NASA – it can still thrive even if its world explodes into the atmosphere. Here is a look at the new ESPN 24-hour coronavirus programming schedule:
8 a.m. ET: "Don't Get Up!"
10:00: "Stephen A. Smith: Unfettered." The real Stephen A. lets loose – unvarnished, unbridled and uninhibited – at a Brooklyn barbershop.
11:00: "Greatest NFL Coaches' Challenges (Season 1)."
11:30: Stephen A. Smith talks smack to first responders on their coffee break.
12 p.m.: Chris Berman runs down his all-time 250 favorite nicknames, alphabetically.
1:30: 1998 French Open women's bracket draw.
2:00: "Burning Bridges with Keith Olbermann." The once-popular "SportsCenter" anchor documents his seven tours of duty with the worldwide leader in sports.
3:15: "Best NASCAR Pit Stops, Volume 3 (2010)."
3:30: "Kiper and Lunardi: The Art of Coaxing." The two iconic ESPN savants discuss how they persuaded the network to turn one-day events into year-round pursuits.
4:30: Stephen A. Smith yells at gate agents at O'Hare Airport.
5:00: "Around the Shoehorn." Nike, Adidas, Puma and Under Armor reps examine best self-quarantine footwear.
5:30: "Pardon the Interruption, Undercover." A hidden camera documents Tony Kornheiser complaining about Michael Wilbon and every single guest cohost with whom he's ever worked.
6:00: 2001 Mid-American Conference men's basketball tournament third-place game.
6:30: "Backstory with Don Van Natta Jr." An investigative look at Adam Schefter's cellphone log.
7:00: "Outside the Lines: The Sunset." The award-winning OTL team chronicles the sun setting in Bristol, Conn. ITAL Live. END ITAL
7:30: World Series of Poker 2003.
8:30: World Series of Poker 2004.
9:30: "Outside the Lines: The Sunset (Pacific Time Zone)." The award-winning OTL team chronicles the sun setting in Pahrump, Nev. Live.
10:00: Stephen A. Smith moonlights as a tollbooth worker who will not give out change.
10:30: "Cricket Tonight." Adnan Virk returns as host.
11:00: World Series of Poker 2005.
12 a.m.: World Series of Poker 2006.
1:00: "Stephen A. Smith: After Dark." The very eligible sweet talker tries his best hot takes in several New York City singles bars.
2:00: World Series of Poker 2007.
3:00: World Series of Poker 2008.
4:00: "The Sports Reporters 2.0." Veteran correspondents from Bleacher Report, The Big Lead, Deadspin and Barstool Sports debate the hot issues of the day.
4:30: "The Making of 'Cold Pizza' (2003-2004)."
5:00: Jeremy Schaap reads select passages from Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged."
5:30: Shuttle run highlights from 2012 NFL Scouting Combine.
5:45: Charley Steiner ITAL is END ITAL "Macbeth."
6:00: 2014 Pub Darts Challenge (Ireland vs. Wales).
6:30: "BodyShaping" (any year).
7:00: "Kraft Mac & Cheese Presents The Craig Kilborn Show." With sidekick Downtown Julie Brown. Why not?
Meanwhile, Fox Sports 1 has a simpler, adjusted schedule:
9:30 a.m. to 1 a.m. ET: "Skip and Shannon: Undisputed."
1 a.m. to 9:15 a.m.: "Skip All Night." Skip Bayless at home!
9:15 a.m. to 9:30 a.m.: Off air for routine maintenance.
Ask The Slouch
Q. After several days of all major sports sidelined, I watched the PBA and saw statistics of MPHs and RPMs on the screen. As a bowler, can you tell me if I am withdrawing from baseball and NASCAR, or is it real and I need some help? (Steve Hintyesz; Spokane, Wash.)
A. It is real – we all need help. I have begged the powers-that-be to wipe the screen clean; alas, they will not listen to a 140 bowler.
Q. Being the wise man you are, can your readers assume that you anticipated this pandemic-related sports hiatus and have a mitigating stockpile of columns to get us through these rough times? (Kim Hemphill; South Riding, Va.)
A. I am currently watching dozens of old Dick Vitale broadcasts that will provide me column content through Labor Day.
Q. Is it true the only reason your marriage to Toni has lasted 12½ years is ever since your wedding night, she has strictly enforced the six-foot social distancing rule? (J.B. Koch; Macomb, Mich.)
A. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt on our wedding night.
Q. After you've written, edited and submitted your column, do you then "take no responsibility" for it? (JC Hodgson; Spokane, Wash.)
A. Many of my columns write themselves; thus, indeed I take no responsibility.
Q. I see Sean Payton has the coronavirus – can't he challenge that? (Kirk Long; Spokane Valley, Wash.)
A. Not reviewable – NFL competition committee will take a look at this during 18-month offseason.
Q.Is it true that Robert Kraft is suing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for entrapment? (Terry Golden; Vienna, Va.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!
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The Houston Astros have looked like one of baseball’s most dangerous teams in recent weeks, riding a hot streak fueled by dominant starting pitching and a red-hot offense that’s erupted for double-digit runs in four of their last eight games. But behind the current success, there are fair questions about whether this pace is truly sustainable as the grind of the season continues.
Yes, the Astros are winning — and winning big — but context matters. Many of their recent victories have come against struggling clubs like the White Sox and Athletics. Even matchups against the Twins and Guardians, while respectable, don’t exactly represent championship-caliber tests. That soft stretch of the schedule has certainly helped Houston pad its win column, but it may not be the best predictor of long-term performance. Houston will be tested in the upcoming series against the Phillies and Cubs.
On the pitching side, the numbers have been impressive, but how repeatable is it? With Lance McCullers Jr. sidelined for at least a couple of weeks, the Astros are relying on a patchwork rotation that includes unproven arms like Colton Gordon, Ryan Gusto, and Brandon Walter. While each has shown flashes, asking them to shoulder the load deep into the summer may be a tall order.
Offensively, Houston is firing on all cylinders. But scoring 10 or more runs every other game simply isn’t sustainable over a 162-game season. Regression is inevitable; the question is how the team responds when the bats cool down or the bullpen is asked to carry more weight.
Amid all this, rookie third baseman Cam Smith continues to shine. Just a few months into his major league career, Smith is producing at a level that suggests he’s not just a key piece of the future — he’s already one of the team’s most valuable players. His batting average sits just a point behind Jose Altuve’s, and his OPS is even higher. If the Astros were forced to choose two players to build around long-term, factoring in youth and contract status, the logical duo might be Smith and breakout pitcher Hunter Brown.
So what about the big picture? Is this team a true World Series contender?
Oddsmakers currently have Houston with the seventh-best odds to win it all, and only the Yankees and Tigers rank higher among American League teams. The core is still there, the experience is undeniable, and if the pitching continues to hold — especially with the anticipated return of Spencer Arrighetti and a healthy McCullers — the Astros have every reason to believe they’ll be in the mix deep into October.
But that’s a big “if.” The ceiling is still high, and with Cam Smith emerging as a star in real time, this team might just have another gear. Whether they can reach it when the competition stiffens, that remains to be seen.
There's so much more to cover! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday.
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*ChatGPT assisted.
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