THAT'S BOLD

Astros unthinkable circumstances, unlikely hypothetical, and one hilarious answer

Astros unthinkable circumstances, unlikely hypothetical, and one hilarious answer
Hunter Brown looks like the real deal. Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images.

Let’s say you’re the general manager of the Houston Astros, and by general manager I mean owner Jim Crane. It’s the New York Mets calling.

“Hear us out, what do you say to a trade – we want Hunter Brown and we’ll give you back Justin Verlander, plus we’ll pay most of Verlander’s salary for this year and next. Waddya say?”

Crane would say, “Waddya nuts? Heck no! JV is all yours. We’ll see you in the World Series … if you make it that far.”

Wednesday night Brown threw a modern day masterpiece – seven innings, two hits, eight strikeouts and no runs – against (for the time being) the best hitting team with the best record in all of baseball. It was the third time this season that the rookie righty has gone seven innings – one of only two pitchers in the bigs to do so (the other is Astros teammate Framber Valdez).

The Astros won Wednesday night’s game 1-0, their second consecutive shutout of the Tampa Bay Rays, who had set all sorts of hitting records for the start of a season and were undefeated at home until the Astros rolled into town.

Brown is 3-0 with an earned run average of 2.37. Verlander? He’s been on the injured list all season. When will he take the mound for the Mets? He gave another clubhouse interview Wednesday and repeated his mantra, “I’m close.”

You know what else is close? The month of May.

Verlander is 40 years old and with a medical rap sheet that typically strikes pitchers his age. He missed almost all of 2000, then all of 2001 and part of 2022 with injuries. And he’s started 2023 on the injured list.

Verlander makes $43 million this year.

Hunter Brown makes $750,000 this year.

I don’t believe salary should enter the debate of “who’s better?” It’s not our money, at least not directly, until teams raise ticket prices. But the difference between Brown and Verlander’s paychecks is noteworthy.

While Mets owner Steve Cohen has a bottomless bank account, he’s paying an aging pitcher with recent injury history who limped to the finish line last year.

You don’t need to go on Antiques Roadshow to know that Verlander is not worth 57 times (!) more than Brown this season.

Brown has more wins than Verlander (no wins) and the Mets other $43 million pitcher Max Scherzer (two wins and currently suspended) combined.

I know it’s early, the season has miles to go, but 25 games in a decent sample. The Astros are 14-11 and breathing down the necks of the American League West-leading Rangers at 14-10.

With all the buzz over the NFL draft, the Rockets hiring a new coach, the NBA playoffs and the Roughnecks going for the XFL title, the Astros have quietly and confidently rebounded from a disappointing start of the 2023 season, when they lost games they should have won against beatable opponents like the White Sox, Tigers and, we thought, the Rangers.

But the past 10 days, the Astros have dominated the Blue Jays, swept the National League’s best Braves and silenced the Rays. The Astros are back, baby. There is no doubt who’s the face that runs the place now. It’s the World Series defending champion Houston Astros.

And all this with Jose Altuve, Michael Brantley, Chas McCormick and Lance McCullers out with injuries. Altuve will be back in a month or so. Brantley is already on rehab assignment in Sugar Land, McCormick is taking batting practice and McCullers, well, Magic 8 Ball says “reply hazy, try again.”

Fun fact: it is against TSA rules to bring a Magic 8 ball on an airplane. That’s because it’s filled with liquid. Snow globes also are not permitted in carry-on bags. Both are allowed in checked bags, however.

Next up for the Astros are series against the sputtering Phillies, Giants, Mariners, Angels, White Sox, Cubs, A’s and Twins - all winnable opportunities. That will take the Astros into June when the dust will be settled, the lineup will be at full strength and fans can start thinking post-season and gambling whether to buy a Temper-Pedic mattress.

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That's five straight losses for Houston. Composite Getty Image.

Pete Crow-Armstrong hit a tiebreaking two-run homer for his first major league hit, and the Chicago Cubs swept the Houston Astros with a 3-1 victory on Thursday.

Nico Hoerner had three hits and Mike Tauchman went 1 for 1 with three walks as Chicago won for the fourth time in five games. Hayden Wesneski (2-0) pitched 2 1/3 perfect innings for the win in relief of Javier Assad.

Houston has lost a season-high five straight and eight of nine overall. At 7-19, it is off to its worst 26-game start since it was 6-20 in 1969.

First-year manager Joe Espada was ejected by plate umpire Jansen Visconti in the top of ninth.

Crow-Armstrong was recalled from Triple-A Iowa when Cody Bellinger was placed on the 10-day injured list on Wednesday with two fractured ribs. The 22-year-old outfielder, who is considered one of the team’s top prospects, made his big league debut last year and went 0 for 14 while appearing in 13 games.

He picked a perfect time for his first major league hit.

Houston had a 1-0 lead before Dansby Swanson scampered home on a fielder’s choice grounder for Miguel Amaya in the sixth.

Espada then replaced Rafael Montero with Bryan Abreu, who threw a wild pitch with Crow-Armstrong trying to sacrifice Amaya to second. Crow-Armstrong then drove his next pitch deep to right, delighting the crowd of 29,876 at Wrigley Field.

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