Celebrations should happen when you actually win something big. Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
I'm by no means an old man, but at 44 years old there are some things that bother me - and I don't care if you don't like it.
I'm not old school in that I don't think anybody should be having fun out there on the court or field, definitely not. It’s just that some of it is annoying to me.
These young whippersnappers might like it, sure, but they need to stay the hell off my lawn!
Also my back hurts and I need a nap.
And who took my tools? I can't find my hammer so I’m pretty sure somebody broke into my garage and stole it because there’s no way I just misplaced it.
Anyway, here are 7 things I hate about sports, grouped by league but in no particular order.
NBA
Pregame Handshakes
The pre-game “handshake” is getting out of control. First of all, the players are acting like they haven’t seen each other in months, when in reality they just saw each other in the locker room.
And what used to be a simple “high five” is now a choreographed dance. I swear the next step is to have some guy yelling out steps like they do at a square dance.
“Everyone Box The Gnat!
Prominade!
Now we Do Si Do.”
(yes, I had to google that sh--)
The hoody warm-up
Let's be real Mr. NBA player; it's not cold in the gym so you don't need to wear the hoodie. You're only doing it because you think you look cool, but you actually don't. You look like a scuba diver that just got out of the water.
Free throw celebrations
This has been bothering me for YEARS now. So much so that I’m kind of actually used to it. High fives and dap should be reserved for celebrating a great accomplishment. Making a free throw, aka THE EASIEST SHOT IN BASKETBALL, shouldn't be celebrated.
This is especially true IF YOU MISS THE DAMN THING!
NFL
Uniform Strictness
Hey NFL, lighten up already.
There’s a reason somebody said that NFL stood for “No Fun League.”
Let the teams be free to explore different options for their uniforms. If some teams want to stay traditional so be it, that's their option, but let other teams that want to try different color schemes and different uniform looks do so. Take a page out of the Oregon Ducks book for goodness sake. It's fun and people gravitate to it, and it might just help you sell more merch.
BASEBALL
Regular season walk-off win celebration
Winning 1 of 162 games isn’t that big of a deal, but you wouldn’t know that when you watch most teams celebrating a walk off win. In fact, if you didn't know any better you’d think said team just won the World Series.
Save that for the October, not for game 47 in May.
Exception to the celebration is the bat flip. I love the bat flip. We definitely need more bat flips in baseball. I want bat flips so grand that StatCast starts to track their launch angle.
Home run nicknames
I'm looking at you, “Springer Dinger” fans.
This might be the dumbest thing ever. How about we just call it a home run and enjoy it for what it is. It doesn't have to have a fancy name, does it?
OK I really like “McCannon baaaall” (said by Geoff Blum, when Brian McCann goes yard). That one's really great, otherwise they're all just really stupid.
All right I really just hate Springer dinger.
Also, I'm super pissed that no one ever called it a “Conger Donger” when Hank Conger was here and would go deep, #MissedOpportunity.
The Unwritten Rules of Baseball
Could someone please write all the #&(%@*$! rules down, already? I can't keep up with all this nonsense used by these sensitive ass baseball players. I swear to Zeus, baseball should be the choice of millennial sports fans the way some guys in the game are so sensitive about what amounts to absolutely nothing.
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A new challenge awaits, and the Astros know what’s at stake
Jun 27, 2025, 2:05 pm
The Houston Astros didn’t just sweep the Philadelphia Phillies. They sent a message.
In three tightly contested games against one of the best teams in baseball, the Astros leaned on their elite pitching and timely offense to secure a statement sweep. Hunter Brown was electric in the finale, shutting down the Phillies’ lineup and showing the kind of dominance that’s become a defining feature of his game. Bryan Abreu slammed the door with four strikeouts to close out the win, and rookie Cam Smith delivered the deciding blow — an RBI single in the eighth to drive in Isaac Paredes, lifting the Astros to a 2-1 victory.
It wasn’t a series filled with offensive fireworks, but that’s exactly the point. Both teams sent out top-tier pitching throughout the series, and Houston was the team that kept finding a way. For much of the season, the Astros’ inconsistent offense might’ve been a concern in a series like this. But this time, it felt different. The bats showed up just enough, and the pitching did the rest.
Now, with Houston on pace for 96 wins at the halfway point, the question becomes: Is the league officially on notice?
Maybe. Maybe not. But one thing is certain, the Astros have the third-best record in baseball, they’re 17-7 in one-run games, and they’re playing with the kind of rhythm that’s defined their near-decade of dominance. Unlike last year’s uneven campaign, this version of the Astros looks like a team that’s rediscovered its edge. Whether or not they need to take care of business against the Cubs to validate it, their recent run leaves little doubt: when Houston is clicking, there are very few teams built to stop them.
Off the field, however, a bit of long-term uncertainty is starting to creep in. Reports surfaced this week that extension talks with shortstop Jeremy Peña have been put on hold as he recently signed with super-agent Scott Boras. The combination has led many to wonder if Peña might follow the same free-agent path as Alex Bregman, Carlos Correa, and others before him. Boras clients rarely settle early, and Peña, now one of the most valuable shortstops in the game, could command a price tag the Astros have historically avoided paying.
If Peña and even Hunter Brown are likely to get priced out of Houston, the front office may need to pivot. Isaac Paredes could be the most logical extension candidate on the roster. His approach — particularly his ability to pull the ball with authority — is tailor-made for Daikin Park and the Crawford Boxes. Last year, Paredes struggled to leave the yard at Wrigley Field, but in Houston, he’s thriving. Locking him in long term would give the Astros offensive stability and the kind of value they’ve typically targeted.
As for Cam Smith, the breakout rookie is far from free agency and will remain a cost-controlled piece for years. That’s exactly why his contributions now, like his clutch eighth-inning knock to beat Philadelphia, matter so much. He's one more reason why the Astros don’t just look good right now. They look dangerous.
And the rest of the league is starting to feel it.
There's so much more to get to! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday.
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*ChatGPT assisted.
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