Every-Thing Sports

Bleep it! Go full heel turn!

photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

I've listened to all the bull bleep and crap spewed after Jim Crane allowed Rob Manfred to clip his manhood and put them it a glass case with the heavy handed punishment in regards to the Astros sign stealing scandals. He then bowed down even further by forcing his players to publicly apologize at Spring Training. It was despicable. In the first hour of Late Hits, Patrick Creighton and Jayson Braddock laid out how many times throughout history teams were caught stealing signs and how they were doing it. This crucifixion of the Astros as if they're some sort of lone bandit is sickening!

All the people bitching and complaining, the frivolous lawsuits, the blatant ignorance, the spreading of baseless accusations...This should all serve as fuel to the Astros and their fans this season. They got caught. They thumbed their noses at the whole apology thing, especially Alex Bregman (shot out to Justin Verlander for wearing the "Nobody Cares" hat at the golf outing). Bleep it! Let's go full heel mode! The heel turn is complete.

First Things First

A heel turn is a wrestling term used to describe a good guy (a babyface or face) turns into a bad guy or heel. The Astros were the fun-loving bunch of homegrown talent of a franchise that endured tanking in order to restock their minor leagues. That paid off in a major way in 2017 when they won a World Series. It was extra sweet considering Houston was hit by Harvey that August. Most of the world fell in love with them. They were the John Cena of baseball. They were beloved by most, and still hated by a good amount of folks for their antics.

Scandals Tear Away At Their Image

Sign stealing was the straw that broke the camel's back. When they signed Roberto Osuna, there was a ton of backlash and understandbly so. He was suspended amid a domestic violence incident and they traded for him anyway. That lead to another incident in which former GM Brandon Taubman was fired for causing a stir in the locker room for being obnoxious about the Osuna trade towards some female reporters. Top this bleep cake off with thew fact that former GM Jeff Luhnow created a toxic work environment, and you have the making of a heel turn.

Heel Mode: Activated

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Back in 1996, Hulk Hogan turned heel when he joined the nWo. The wrestling world was turned on its ear. Everyone actually thought WWE sent them to take over WCW. Fans were shocked to see their hero of the last 10-plus years turn heel. This is how Astros fans must feel right now. Their beloved team got caught stealing signs. Now what? Bleep it! Go with it. Yeah they got caught. No they weren't the only ones. Sure the punishment is harsh. And yes, the trolls and piece-riders in media and other fan bases are annoying AF, but embrace it!

Relish The Role

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You know what happened to the nWo? They ended up becoming the hottest act in wrestling. Stone Cold Steve Austin did something similar. Both were supposed to be heels, but were so good at it and so cool, people ended up liking them. They were cheered, sold a ton of merch, and drove ratings through the roof. So much so that WCW actually beat WWE in the ratings for over a year. This is what the team and fans need to do. I don't give a flying flip that they cheated! "If you aint cheatin you aint tryin!" and my other favorite line "It's only cheatin if you get caught!" Become the cool heels. Celebrate homeruns and big hits by simulating buzzers and banging trash cans. Have a trash can bobblehead giveaway. Pretend to talk into fake buzzers and devices in the dugout. Fans: wear "Steal It Back" shirts and create other parody paraphenelia to thumb your noses at the crybabies from other teams.

I don't give a damn what people may think. If they stink, do it anyway. Do it more if they're mashing the ball and leading the division. During the All Star festivities, keep it going by pretending to steal signs and bang trash cans. That World Series win isn't going anywhere. It's history, it happened and they can't undo it. Ignore the dumbasses online and in the media. They're going to say all kinds stuff to keep this going, so don't feed them MLB can pretend to investigate other teams all they want, but we all know they want this to go away faster an unwanted rash in their nether regions. So let's go full heel Houston! Screw them! It's us versus all yall mentality from here on out!

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Could Tank Dell record over 1,000 yards as a rookie? Photo by Omar Rawlings/Getty Images.

The cuts have been made. The roster is still being shaped by the front office and scouting department. The main players are in place. The coaching staff is hard at work prepping game plans for week one against the Baltimore Ravens. The players are studying film and perfecting their crafts. Opponents are probably licking their chops looking at this team.

I think the over on 6.5 wins this season may be a stretch. If they reach seven wins, it'll be because they won some games most didn't think they could win. My expectations are much higher than the previous few seasons. One thing for sure, this team will be a LOT more exciting to watch. Here are some of my statistical forecasts for a few pivotal players:

C.J. Stroud: 3,417 yards; 23 touchdowns; 11 interceptions- I think Stroud will benefit this year from a good run game. Pass protection may be shaky to start with injuries, but I think the offensive line will get better as the season progresses. Averaging just over 200 yards per game isn't outrageous. I feel he'll stay at or just above a 2:1 TD to pick ratio. While not ideal, it's better than some Hall of Fame QBs did in their rookie seasons. It would rank him in PFF's top 10 all time rookie QB seasons if he's at or around 65% completion percentage.

Tank Dell: 68 catches, 1,105 yards and 6 touchdowns- Dell will be a really good slot, but has some outside skills. Namely, his speed. He's more slippery than if Mick had greased that chicken before Rocky tried catching it. I could see his production going up as the season gets longer because Stroud will begin to look for him more and more as they build chemistry. Yes, I know I only have him with six scores. Keep in mind this is a run first offense. At least that's what we can deduce from looking at where it came from in San Francisco. Speaking of run first…

Damien Pierce: 1,388 yards on 322 carries with 362 receiving yards on 44 catches and 18 total touchdowns- Pierce will be the focal point of the offense. He averaged 4.3 yards per carry last season, so I can see him hitting around that mark again. Difference is, this season, he'll get more carries and have more receptions. This will lead to much more production.

Jalen Pitre: 131 tackles, 6 picks, 4 forced fumbles, 2 fumbles recoveries, 2 defensive touchdowns- While he'll have less tackles, look for an uptick in his playmaking. Jalen will have better guys in front of him, which will take away from his tackle production. That's why I think he'll make more plays. Bottom line, he'll be an All-Pro this year, like he should have been last year!

Will Anderson Jr: 79 tackles, 11.5 sacks, 18 TFLs, 2 forced fumbles, 2 fumble recoveries- I'm trying to be modest here. This guy reminds me of the prototypical edge rushers of today's game. A long, lean frame that converts his speed into power and has a lightening quick get off when the ball is snapped. Teams will need to account for him on every play. Discount him as a run stuffer if you want, and you'll be sorry. First Team All Rookie Defense is a lock! DROY? I wouldn't be shocked since he's the second betting favorite.

This was just me and my brain trying to figure out what some prominent players will look like statistically at season's end. I took it as they're going to play all 17 games. I didn't use any cheat sheets or any projections. My search history is more college football, car parts, and Amazon purchases (I blame JDG; this person knows who they are). I can't wait to see how accurate or inaccurate I am.

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