Come on, man!

Columnist fires back at Charles Barkley's Galveston cheap shot

Charles Barkley
Shots fired! Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for American Express.

Last week, Charles Barkley trolled the New Orleans Pelicans and sideswiped innocent bystander Galveston after the Pels’ embarrassing loss to Oklahoma City.

Instead of “sending” the Pelicans to Cancun, as is the running joke on the NBA’s post-game show on TNT, Barkley was so disgusted in the Pelicans that he said they didn’t deserve to vacation in the Mexican resort city.

No, Barkley was sentencing the Pelicans to Galveston where …

"Galveston. That dirty ass water. We're not even going to send them to Cancun. We're going to send them to Galveston with that dirty ass water, be washing up on the shore. People think they in the beach," Barkley ranted.

"We're not getting them no plane ticket to the beach. We're sending their ass to Galveston, Texas, right where that dirty water washed up on the beach. They can't even get in the water.”

Barkley clearly was kidding, not kidding. Galveston responded good naturedly with billboards around the island.

"Hey Charles, come on down — water's fine!"

"Our water is cleaner than your golf swing.”

"You've never turned down any of our great food."

Each billboard was signed, “Love, Galveston.”

Here’s where the Galveston tourism folks and I differ. My billboards would have read:

“Dirty ass water? Then keep your fat butt out of here.”

“Our economy is strong, even without the enormous ‘entertainment’ tabs you’ve rung up here.”

“Get your Mounjaro somewhere else.”

Tina Knowles thinks like me. She went on social media and warned Barkley:

“We don’t play about Galveston, Texas. You better watch it sucker. Our water might not be blue but it’s still the beach and we love it.”

Knowles, who was born in Galveston, is the mother of superstar Beyoncé. It was Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z that alerted Knowles about Barkley’s dig.

Barkley folded and apologized to Knowles:

"Ms. Knowles I don't want the smoke. I don't want the Beyhive and Jay after me."

The truth about Galveston's water

Channel 2 weatherman and longtime Galveston resident Frank Billingsley took Barkley’s jibe in stride.

“We love Charles’ sense of humor which is clearly as challenged as our water,” Billingsley said.

Sure Galveston’s beach water, to be kind, can be a bit murky. I wouldn’t go in it. But I sure love eating the shrimp that once lived in it.

Billingsley explained why the water in Galveston is so, at times, dirty.

“The Brazos River empties into the Gulf south of Galveston and that silt is what you’re seeing. It is not the Mississippi River like people think. The Mississippi River messes up Biloxi, not Galveston. During drought years when the Brazos River is low the water in Galveston can be clearer.”

Storms and strong tides also churn the water like a Vitamix blender causing the water to be darker and dirtier.

Billingsley cleared (ironic choice of words) up the difference in the water on Galveston’s Gulf and Bay sides.

“The Bay is an estuary and more salty than the Gulf side. The Bay is a perfect home to shrimp and oysters. Of course, during floods like now, the Bay gets more river water and becomes less salty.”

Several years ago, during the BP Oil spill, a national publication dispatched me to the Gulf coastline to write about the spill’s effect on the environment and local economies. That’s when I learned about the benefits of Galveston’s so-called “dirty ass water,” caused by sand and mud and plant life and nutrients and who-knows-what-else is lurking on the bottom of the gulf floor.

I was told that seafood, like shrimp, takes on the flavors of the water where it lived. The Gulf of Mexico and Galveston Bay are like a big Golden Corral to shrimp and fish and oysters. One bite and you can tell the difference between delicious Gulf shrimp and bland farm-raised shrimp from Asia.

Next time, before you order a shrimp platter or po’ boy from a restaurant, ask where the shrimp are from. If they say China or they don’t know, you might want to consider a burger.


This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

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The Astros didn’t leave Seattle with a series win, but they may have gained something just as important: a reminder that resilience still runs deep in this group.

After a grueling extra-inning loss on Saturday, one that included the loss of Isaac Paredes to a hamstring injury, Houston regrouped on Sunday and hammered the Mariners 11-3. Christian Walker provided the turning point with a much-needed go-ahead home run in the sixth inning, while Taylor Trammell added a two-run double and a solo shot of his own. With Chas McCormick back from the injured list but still finding his footing, Trammell is quickly making his case as the best option in center field moving forward.

Manager Joe Espada continues to juggle a lineup that’s been in constant flux. Rookie Cam Smith, who had a clutch two-run double in Sunday’s win, has struggled as of late, going just 2-for his last 24. While his ability to get hits in clutch situations has been extremely valuable, the lack of a consistent spot in the batting order may be taking its toll. Giving Smith a stable home in the cleanup spot, even temporarily, might be a helpful reset.

Then again, the cleanup role hasn’t been kind to everyone.

 

Walker has been markedly less effective when hitting fourth this season, a trend that continues despite his strong Sunday performance. Sometimes, the data is clear: the four-hole might not be for him. He's literally been the worst cleanup option in baseball this season. Hit him fifth.

Behind the plate, Victor Caratini continues to impress, while Yainer Diaz is back in a cold stretch. Since the break, Diaz is just 1-for-14, raising questions about his timing and confidence as the summer grind deepens.

On the mound, the biggest developments are happening off the field. Cristian Javier and Spencer Arrighetti both completed three-inning rehab outings with Double-A Corpus Christi, while Luis Garcia threw two innings in a rehab start with Low-A Fayetteville. The trio’s return could mark a major turning point for the Astros, especially as Lance McCullers continues to struggle in his own comeback. McCullers lasted just 2 2/3 innings in Saturday’s loss, allowing four runs and showing little of the form that once made him one of the rotation’s anchors.

There’s been hesitancy to replace McCullers with someone like Arrighetti while he’s still building back arm strength, but the argument grows thinner each time McCullers falters. If healthy, even a three- or four-inning version of Javier or Arrighetti could give Houston more consistency at the back of the rotation.

Despite the weekend loss, the Astros still hold one of the best offenses in baseball, second in batting average, 12th in OPS, and 11th in slugging. The pitching staff remains stout, ranking sixth in ERA and second in WHIP. This team is far from unraveling.

With reinforcements on the way and a lineup that’s still capable of putting up crooked numbers, the Astros aren’t panicking. If anything, Sunday’s blowout win showed they’re ready to weather whatever’s next.

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