Come on, man!
Columnist fires back at Charles Barkley's Galveston cheap shot
May 7, 2024, 2:24 pm
Shots fired! Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for American Express.
Last week, Charles Barkley trolled the New Orleans Pelicans and sideswiped innocent bystander Galveston after the Pels’ embarrassing loss to Oklahoma City.
Instead of “sending” the Pelicans to Cancun, as is the running joke on the NBA’s post-game show on TNT, Barkley was so disgusted in the Pelicans that he said they didn’t deserve to vacation in the Mexican resort city.
No, Barkley was sentencing the Pelicans to Galveston where …
"Galveston. That dirty ass water. We're not even going to send them to Cancun. We're going to send them to Galveston with that dirty ass water, be washing up on the shore. People think they in the beach," Barkley ranted.
"We're not getting them no plane ticket to the beach. We're sending their ass to Galveston, Texas, right where that dirty water washed up on the beach. They can't even get in the water.”
Barkley clearly was kidding, not kidding. Galveston responded good naturedly with billboards around the island.
"Hey Charles, come on down — water's fine!"
"Our water is cleaner than your golf swing.”
"You've never turned down any of our great food."
Each billboard was signed, “Love, Galveston.”
Here’s where the Galveston tourism folks and I differ. My billboards would have read:
“Dirty ass water? Then keep your fat butt out of here.”
“Our economy is strong, even without the enormous ‘entertainment’ tabs you’ve rung up here.”
“Get your Mounjaro somewhere else.”
Tina Knowles thinks like me. She went on social media and warned Barkley:
“We don’t play about Galveston, Texas. You better watch it sucker. Our water might not be blue but it’s still the beach and we love it.”
Knowles, who was born in Galveston, is the mother of superstar Beyoncé. It was Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z that alerted Knowles about Barkley’s dig.
Barkley folded and apologized to Knowles:
"Ms. Knowles I don't want the smoke. I don't want the Beyhive and Jay after me."
The truth about Galveston's water
Channel 2 weatherman and longtime Galveston resident Frank Billingsley took Barkley’s jibe in stride.
“We love Charles’ sense of humor which is clearly as challenged as our water,” Billingsley said.
Sure Galveston’s beach water, to be kind, can be a bit murky. I wouldn’t go in it. But I sure love eating the shrimp that once lived in it.
Billingsley explained why the water in Galveston is so, at times, dirty.
“The Brazos River empties into the Gulf south of Galveston and that silt is what you’re seeing. It is not the Mississippi River like people think. The Mississippi River messes up Biloxi, not Galveston. During drought years when the Brazos River is low the water in Galveston can be clearer.”
Storms and strong tides also churn the water like a Vitamix blender causing the water to be darker and dirtier.
Billingsley cleared (ironic choice of words) up the difference in the water on Galveston’s Gulf and Bay sides.
“The Bay is an estuary and more salty than the Gulf side. The Bay is a perfect home to shrimp and oysters. Of course, during floods like now, the Bay gets more river water and becomes less salty.”
Several years ago, during the BP Oil spill, a national publication dispatched me to the Gulf coastline to write about the spill’s effect on the environment and local economies. That’s when I learned about the benefits of Galveston’s so-called “dirty ass water,” caused by sand and mud and plant life and nutrients and who-knows-what-else is lurking on the bottom of the gulf floor.
I was told that seafood, like shrimp, takes on the flavors of the water where it lived. The Gulf of Mexico and Galveston Bay are like a big Golden Corral to shrimp and fish and oysters. One bite and you can tell the difference between delicious Gulf shrimp and bland farm-raised shrimp from Asia.
Next time, before you order a shrimp platter or po’ boy from a restaurant, ask where the shrimp are from. If they say China or they don’t know, you might want to consider a burger.
This article originally appeared on CultureMap.
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