Come on, man!

Columnist fires back at Charles Barkley's Galveston cheap shot

Charles Barkley
Shots fired! Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for American Express.

Last week, Charles Barkley trolled the New Orleans Pelicans and sideswiped innocent bystander Galveston after the Pels’ embarrassing loss to Oklahoma City.

Instead of “sending” the Pelicans to Cancun, as is the running joke on the NBA’s post-game show on TNT, Barkley was so disgusted in the Pelicans that he said they didn’t deserve to vacation in the Mexican resort city.

No, Barkley was sentencing the Pelicans to Galveston where …

"Galveston. That dirty ass water. We're not even going to send them to Cancun. We're going to send them to Galveston with that dirty ass water, be washing up on the shore. People think they in the beach," Barkley ranted.

"We're not getting them no plane ticket to the beach. We're sending their ass to Galveston, Texas, right where that dirty water washed up on the beach. They can't even get in the water.”

Barkley clearly was kidding, not kidding. Galveston responded good naturedly with billboards around the island.

"Hey Charles, come on down — water's fine!"

"Our water is cleaner than your golf swing.”

"You've never turned down any of our great food."

Each billboard was signed, “Love, Galveston.”

Here’s where the Galveston tourism folks and I differ. My billboards would have read:

“Dirty ass water? Then keep your fat butt out of here.”

“Our economy is strong, even without the enormous ‘entertainment’ tabs you’ve rung up here.”

“Get your Mounjaro somewhere else.”

Tina Knowles thinks like me. She went on social media and warned Barkley:

“We don’t play about Galveston, Texas. You better watch it sucker. Our water might not be blue but it’s still the beach and we love it.”

Knowles, who was born in Galveston, is the mother of superstar Beyoncé. It was Beyoncé’s husband Jay-Z that alerted Knowles about Barkley’s dig.

Barkley folded and apologized to Knowles:

"Ms. Knowles I don't want the smoke. I don't want the Beyhive and Jay after me."

The truth about Galveston's water

Channel 2 weatherman and longtime Galveston resident Frank Billingsley took Barkley’s jibe in stride.

“We love Charles’ sense of humor which is clearly as challenged as our water,” Billingsley said.

Sure Galveston’s beach water, to be kind, can be a bit murky. I wouldn’t go in it. But I sure love eating the shrimp that once lived in it.

Billingsley explained why the water in Galveston is so, at times, dirty.

“The Brazos River empties into the Gulf south of Galveston and that silt is what you’re seeing. It is not the Mississippi River like people think. The Mississippi River messes up Biloxi, not Galveston. During drought years when the Brazos River is low the water in Galveston can be clearer.”

Storms and strong tides also churn the water like a Vitamix blender causing the water to be darker and dirtier.

Billingsley cleared (ironic choice of words) up the difference in the water on Galveston’s Gulf and Bay sides.

“The Bay is an estuary and more salty than the Gulf side. The Bay is a perfect home to shrimp and oysters. Of course, during floods like now, the Bay gets more river water and becomes less salty.”

Several years ago, during the BP Oil spill, a national publication dispatched me to the Gulf coastline to write about the spill’s effect on the environment and local economies. That’s when I learned about the benefits of Galveston’s so-called “dirty ass water,” caused by sand and mud and plant life and nutrients and who-knows-what-else is lurking on the bottom of the gulf floor.

I was told that seafood, like shrimp, takes on the flavors of the water where it lived. The Gulf of Mexico and Galveston Bay are like a big Golden Corral to shrimp and fish and oysters. One bite and you can tell the difference between delicious Gulf shrimp and bland farm-raised shrimp from Asia.

Next time, before you order a shrimp platter or po’ boy from a restaurant, ask where the shrimp are from. If they say China or they don’t know, you might want to consider a burger.


This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

ESPN Houston 97.5 FM
The Texans host Josh Allen and the Bills Week 12 on Thursday Night Football. Composite Getty Image.

The NFL has released its full 2025 regular season schedule, and the Houston Texans are no longer flying under the radar. The league is rewarding Houston with four nationally televised games, including two prime-time Monday Night Football matchups, a Thursday night showdown with the Bills, and a late-season Sunday night contest against the defending AFC champion Kansas City Chiefs.

Here's a breakdown of the Texans' full 2025 slate and what to watch for:

2025 Houston Texans Regular Season Schedule

Week 1 – at Rams
Sunday, 3:25 PM CT
Houston opens the season on the road in Los Angeles, a marquee afternoon slot against an NFC contender.

Week 2 – vs. Buccaneers
Monday Night Football, 6:00 PM CT
The Texans return home to a national audience in Week 2, hosting Tampa Bay under the lights at NRG Stadium.

Week 3 – at Jaguars
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
An early AFC South test on the road in Jacksonville, where divisional stakes are always high.

Week 4 – vs. Titans
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
Houston faces a familiar foe, looking to assert dominance in the South.

Week 5 – at Ravens
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
A rematch of last season’s playoff clash, the Texans head to Baltimore for one of their toughest road games.

Week 6 – Bye Week
A well-placed midseason break as Houston gears up for a rugged stretch ahead.

Week 7 – at Seahawks
Monday Night Football, 9:00 PM CT
Another prime-time moment for Houston as they travel to Seattle for a late-night showdown.

Week 8 – vs. 49ers
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
The 49ers visit NRG in a heavyweight NFC-AFC battle, with both teams eyeing deep playoff runs.

Week 9 – vs. Broncos
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
Houston looks to capitalize on home-field advantage in back-to-back weeks.

Week 10 – vs. Jaguars
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
A crucial rematch with Jacksonville that could have major implications in the division race.

Week 11 – at Titans
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
The Texans head to Nashville for the second leg of their rivalry series.

Week 12 – vs. Bills
Thursday Night Football, 7:15 PM CT
Short week, big stage—Josh Allen and the Bills come to town for a showdown under the lights.

Week 13 – at Colts
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
Houston travels to Indianapolis in another pivotal AFC South matchup.

Week 14 – at Chiefs
Sunday Night Football, 7:20 PM CT
All eyes will be on Arrowhead as the Texans get their shot at the reigning AFC champs in prime time.

Week 15 – vs. Cardinals
Sunday, 12:00 PM CT
Houston returns home to face an Arizona squad in the late-season playoff push.

Week 16 – vs. Raiders
Sunday, 3:25 PM CT
Another home test for the Texans as they look to stack wins in December.

Week 17 – at Chargers
Date/Time TBD
A potential flex game as the playoff picture takes shape in the AFC.

Week 18 – vs. Colts
Date/Time TBD
The regular-season finale at home could decide the division—or more.

Key Takeaways:

  • Four national TV games: Two on Monday night, one on Thursday, and one massive Sunday night in Kansas City.
  • Division focus: As always, the AFC South matchups will be pivotal—with two against the Colts, one against the Titans, and one against the Jags starting Week 10.
  • Late-season challenges: A brutal stretch from Week 12 to Week 14 features the Bills, Colts, and Chiefs.

The schedule sets up for a dramatic season with playoff implications likely lasting into Week 18.

Here's a look at the Texans schedule release video:

*ChatGPT assisted.

___________________________

Looking to get the word out about your business, products, or services? Consider advertising on SportsMap! It's a great way to get in front of Houston sports fans. Click the link below for more information!

https://houston.sportsmap.com/advertise

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome