FUZZY GEOGRAPHY

Clueless media once again shows their ass about Texas sports

Texas map college basketball
Photo by Ken Hoffman

CBS, the "Tiffany Network," spent hundreds of millions of dollars to broadcast this year's March Madness games.

And then they hired Timmy in the third grade to draw their graphics for the big event. And it looks like Timmy is getting an "F" in geography.

Recently, I was watching one of the first-round games — I forget which one, I was all day in front of the TV — when the announcers started talking about Texas having seven teams in the tournament. Seven teams ties the all-time record for most teams from one state with California in 2002, and Texas in 2010 and 2018.

The Texas qualifiers this year are: University of Texas, in Austin; University of Houston and Texas Southern University, in Houston; Baylor University, in Waco; Texas Tech University, in Lubbock; Abilene Christian University, in Abilene; and North Texas University, in Denton.

Under the banner of "Lone Star State Success – NCAA Tournament Teams from Texas This Season," CBS showed a map where all the colleges are located in Texas.

Whoa? Even in my basketball bleary state, that map ain't close.

Literally ain't close. CBS had Austin practically on the Texas-Oklahoma border, Baylor south of UT, and UH and Texas Southern some distance apart (they're practically next-door neighbors.)

Politicians are always proposing school redistricting, but this is crazy.

If there's one college, you don't want to misplace, it's the University of Texas. Fun fact: every year UT tops the Forbes list for selling the most "merch," and no other school comes close. Let Notre Dame, Alabama, Tennessee, and others fight it out for No. 2. Don't mess with Texas, as in UT, indeed.

I contacted CBS to ask what gives with that map — you guys have UT hundreds of miles north of Austin – but they didn't respond. (Maybe CBS was busy finding a geography tutor for Timmy.)

Twitter is like the goalie who wins the Vezina Trophy in the National Hockey League: nothing gets past Twitter. I freeze-framed CBS' map of Texas' seven colleges in March Madness and posted it.

Thousands of Twitter users responded. Many simply posted one word: Yikes! Doh! Sheesh! Embarrassing! Lazy!

But, being how this is Texas, where everybody's a comedian, Twitter let fly:

  • "The University of Texas at Plano."
  • "Never knew the Longhorns are now located in Arlington!"
  • "UT-McKinney."
  • "The best thing about the new map, the drive from Dallas to Austin is now only 23 minutes."
  • "I guess UT's weekend MBA extension site really kicked their athletic program into high gear this year."
  • "How did Houston wind up near Beaumont and Baylor is now located in Waxahachie?"
  • "As both a map guy and a Texas guy, this here really burns my bacon."
  • "Yep, that online learning is paying off. #Geographymatters."
  • "They threw some darts and hoped they weren't too far off."
  • "I've seen better attempts at pin the tail on the donkey."
  • "How do you get semi-close with Abilene Christian and North Texas, but miss the Texas state capital city?"
  • "Who did this map? Five to 10 minutes of research is all it would have taken."

Maybe the smartest comment, opening up old wounds that need to be opened: "I think they mean seven men's teams. Once again the women's teams are erased."

Jimmy and J.J.: a perfect concert match
Usually Jimmy Buffett is hitting the road this time of year, but if COVID is keeping him grounded, he'll bring some of his greatest hits concerts to fans online. Buffett is calling this his "Nothin' But Time Virtual Tour 2021," rewinding concerts from yesteryear on Saturday nights at 7pm. You can watch on Margaritaville.tv or listen on Radio Margaritaville on Sirius/XM.

To learn more about Jimmy's concert schedule and how JJ Watt ties into this, continue on CultureMap.

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

ESPN Houston 97.5 FM
It doesn't sound like OC Bobby Slowik is going anywhere. Composite Getty Image.

One of the nuggets that came out of Nick Caserio's press conference this week, was his thoughts on the job Bobby Slowik has done as an offensive coordinator. When asked if the team has considered sharing the offensive play calling, Caseiro responded with an emphatic, “absolutely not.”

Caserio went on to praise the job Slowik has done this year, and to say the team's struggles in the second half this season is due to execution.

This stance is consistent with what we've heard from Texans insiders that believe Slowik will be back next season. As much as many Texans fans believe a change at OC could help CJ Stroud, who's shown regression this year, it doesn't appear Slowik is going anywhere.

To be fair, most teams aren't looking to replace their coordinators when they're leading their division and marching toward the postseason for the second straight year.

Number crunching

When comparing Stroud's stats to last season, there is a clear dropoff in 2024. But a lot of that has to do with the addition of Joe Mixon, especially when it comes to touchdowns.

Mixon is third in the NFL with 11 rushing TDs, while Dameon Pierce and Devin Singletary only combined for 6 over the entire 2023 season. One could argue the passing offense has regressed, but one could also argue the offense overall is more balanced.

Stroud is still Top 5 in passing yards, heading into this week's games. And even if we account for the bye week, Stroud will still be Top 10 after this week's slate of games.

The most concerning number to keep an eye on is sacks. Only one QB has been sacked more than Stroud, who's been sacked 41 times. CJ's protection has gotten better since Juice Scruggs was moved to guard, and Jarrett Patterson was inserted at center.

If Stroud starts getting hit again at a high level, that may be the one factor that could make the front office rethink their plans at coordinator. However, if the Texans do make a change, we expect them to address their o-line coach before any changes at OC.

Be sure to watch the video above for our full breakdown of the Texans offense, the coaching staff, and our thoughts on how the Azeez Al-Shaair suspension will impact the team.

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome