Enough is enough: here’s the definitive, must-read MLB rant for every Astros fan

Enough is enough: here’s the definitive, must-read MLB rant for every Astros fan
Photo by Sergio Flores/Getty Images.

They don't call them "dumb jocks" for nothing. Over the past two weeks, two sports, which happen to be my two favorite sports, have jerked around fans and done some pretty stupid things that may have caused irreparable damage.

Baseball, which has been slowly circling the drain in popularity anyway, made it crystal clear that team owners and players have stopped caring about fans and the game itself. The battle in recent weeks between billionaire owners and multimillionaire players over when to start the coronavirus-delayed season, how many games should be played and how much money the players should make has been disgusting and vulgar to fans.

There's a golden oldie by the Marvelettes called Too Many Fish in the Sea. It goes: "I don't want nobody who don't want me, 'cause there's too many fish in the sea." It's good advice and that's how I feel about baseball after a lifetime of loving the game. I realize that baseball don't want me, and there's too many fish, like basketball and football, golf and soccer, in the sea.

Baseball should be the last sport to exhibit such arrogance. Baseball isn't exactly in a growth spurt. Attendance at baseball games is down 7 percent over the last five years – down 1.6 percent in 2019 after dropping 4 percent the year before. Last season, for the first time in 15 years, baseball attendance fell below 70 million. Last season, 14 of baseball's 30 teams had declining attendance, including the Houston Astros. Even though the Astros had the best record in all of baseball, attendance was down about 4 percent. In 2018, average attendance at an Astros home game was 36,796. In 2019, down to 35,276 a game.

Baseball is called "the national pastime," but lately it's just a meaningless catchphrase. According to a 2019 Gallup poll, only 9 percent of Americans say that baseball is their favorite sport. It's the lowest percentage since Gallup started asking that question in 1937. Go ahead players and owners, keep bickering over money. Fans love that, especially with 20 million Americans out of work and 120,000 dead from coronavirus. They'll only stay away even more when games finally resume under commissioner Rob Manfred's almighty executive order to play a 60-game season starting in late July.

Little League, which used to groom Americans to be baseball fans for life, is in steep decline, too. Youth participation in baseball is down more than 4 percentage points in the past decade. The popularity of video games and the average weight of kids is way up, however.

Between scandals, slow play and mind-numbing long games, baseball just ain't happening for young people. Basketball players, like LeBron, the Freak, KD and James Harden are cool. The best baseball player today is Mike Trout. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't recognize him in line at the supermarket, and I know I wouldn't recognize his voice on a radio interview. The most famous pop baseball song played in ballparks today is Centerfield by John Fogerty. The song mentions superstars Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio. They played 50, 60, 70 years ago.

The average age of a baseball fan is 57, not good for the long run. Only 7 percent of baseball fans are 18 and younger. It's going to take more than Tuesday night dollar dogs and Friday night fireworks to pull fans back to the ballpark. And owners and players squabble about money and air dirty laundry in public? How stupid can they be?

But baseball's stupidity isn't in the same stratosphere as what tennis demonstrated the past two weeks. While the sport is officially shut down waiting out the coronavirus pandemic, Novak Djokovic, possibly the most dangerous pro athlete in the world, organized four weeks of exhibition tennis tournaments in Eastern Europe. Djokovic, an anti-vaxxer ("personally I am opposed to vaccination and I wouldn't want to be forced by someone to take a vaccine"), insisted that fans be allowed to attend the tournaments with no social distancing and no face masks required. As a result, the tennis stadium was packed, every seat sold, practically nobody wearing a mask. Meanwhile players high-fived and hugged each other, and posed for selfies with fans. One night after the matches, several players danced shirtless in a conga line in a Belgrade nightclub.

Here's a shocker: so far, four players from the event – Grigor Dimitrov, Borna Coric, Viktor Troicki and the "brains" behind the operation, Djokovic himself – have tested positive for coronavirus. So have one trainer and a coach. Troicki's pregnant wife also has tested positive. We can only wonder how many fans caught the virus. Stupid, thoughtless Djokovic.

Coric said, "I deeply apologize for anyone that I have potentially put at risk by playing the tour. Please stay safe and healthy." Dimitrov posted a photo of himself resting in a bed. Ironically, he is wearing a face mask in the photo. You should have thought about that sooner, buddy. Alexander Zverev, who played the tournament and has since tested negative, promised on Instagram, "I will proceed to follow the self-isolating guidelines. As an added precaution, my team and I will continue with regular testing." He added the praying hands emoji. Marin Cilic, who also tested negative after the event, said, "I will self-isolate for the next 14 days and continue to listen to the advice of medical professionals."

Australian bad boy Nick Kyrgios, who did not play the event, called Djokovic's unprotected tour "boneheaded," which usually is a word reserved for Kyrgios.

The U.S. Open will be held in late August in New York City. There will be ultra-strict safety rules, including players having to stay in airport hotels near the tennis stadium, no travel into Manhattan, limited player entourages, and no fans in attendance. Djokovic doesn't like all the safety measures and says he may not play the Open. If a vaccine is discovered and tennis insists that players roll up their sleeves for the shot, Djokovic is unsure what he'll do. But he had no problem staging an event with no social distancing or face masks, where three players caught the virus.

And Djokovic's parents wonder why their son isn't as popular as Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, two of sports greatest gentlemen and humanitarians, who support health guidelines to keep players safe from coronavirus?

Djokovic's mother: "I don't know why people don't love him like Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Maybe it's because he beat them and became world No. 1 and they couldn't stand it."

Djokovic's father: "There is no doubt that my son is the best in history. Federer was jealous of Novak from the moment my son made his turn. He is jealous because my son is better than he is and will surpass him." His advice for Federer is to quit tennis, "Go man, raise children, do something else, go and ski, do something."

While it's true that Djokovic has a winning record against both Federer and Nadal, and may one day pass both in grand slam titles, greatness doesn't translate to admiration and love from fans. You want to know why fans cheer for Federer and boo your son? It's because he's a jackass, and the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

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Yordan Alvarez is hitting fifth for the American League. Composite Getty Image.

Baltimore's Corbin Burnes will start for the American League in Tuesday night's All-Star Game against Pittsburgh rookie Paul Skenes.

A 29-year-old right-hander, Burnes is 9-4 with a 2.93 ERA in his first season with the Orioles, who acquired him from Milwaukee just before spring training. The 2021 NL Cy Young Award winner, Burnes is an All-Star for the fourth straight season. He will become the fifth Orioles pitcher to start an All-Star Game, the first since Steve Stone in 1980.

Skenes, who made his major league debut on May 11, is 6-0 with a 1.90 ERA in 11 starts, striking out 89 and walking 13 in 66 1/3 innings. The 11 starts for the 21-year-old right-hander will be the fewest for an All-Star and he will become the fifth rookie starter after Dave Stenhouse (1962), Mark Fidrych (1976), Fernando Valenzuela (1981) and Hideo Nomo (1995).

NL manager Torey Lovullo announced last week he was starting Skenes.

AL manager Bruce Bochy of World Series champion Texas said Monday he has Steven Kwan of Cleveland hitting leadoff and playing left field, followed by Baltimore shortstop Gunnar Henderson, New York Yankees right fielder Juan Soto and center fielder Aaron Judge, Houston designed hitter Yordan Alvarez, Guardians shortstop José Ramírez, Toronto first baseman Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Orioles catcher Adley Rutschman and Rangers second baseman Marcus Semien.

Ketel Marte bats first and plays second base for the NL, followed by Los Angeles Dodgers designated hitter Shohei Ohtani, Philadelphia shortstop Trea Turner, Phillies first baseman Bryce Harper, Milwaukee catcher William Contreras, Brewers right fielder Christian Yelich, Phillies third baseman Alex Bohm, Dodgers center fielder Teoscar Hernández and San Diego left fielder Jurickson Profar.

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