STEP YOUR GAME UP

Enough is enough: here’s the definitive, must-read MLB rant for every Astros fan

Photo by Sergio Flores/Getty Images.

They don't call them "dumb jocks" for nothing. Over the past two weeks, two sports, which happen to be my two favorite sports, have jerked around fans and done some pretty stupid things that may have caused irreparable damage.

Baseball, which has been slowly circling the drain in popularity anyway, made it crystal clear that team owners and players have stopped caring about fans and the game itself. The battle in recent weeks between billionaire owners and multimillionaire players over when to start the coronavirus-delayed season, how many games should be played and how much money the players should make has been disgusting and vulgar to fans.

There's a golden oldie by the Marvelettes called Too Many Fish in the Sea. It goes: "I don't want nobody who don't want me, 'cause there's too many fish in the sea." It's good advice and that's how I feel about baseball after a lifetime of loving the game. I realize that baseball don't want me, and there's too many fish, like basketball and football, golf and soccer, in the sea.

Baseball should be the last sport to exhibit such arrogance. Baseball isn't exactly in a growth spurt. Attendance at baseball games is down 7 percent over the last five years – down 1.6 percent in 2019 after dropping 4 percent the year before. Last season, for the first time in 15 years, baseball attendance fell below 70 million. Last season, 14 of baseball's 30 teams had declining attendance, including the Houston Astros. Even though the Astros had the best record in all of baseball, attendance was down about 4 percent. In 2018, average attendance at an Astros home game was 36,796. In 2019, down to 35,276 a game.

Baseball is called "the national pastime," but lately it's just a meaningless catchphrase. According to a 2019 Gallup poll, only 9 percent of Americans say that baseball is their favorite sport. It's the lowest percentage since Gallup started asking that question in 1937. Go ahead players and owners, keep bickering over money. Fans love that, especially with 20 million Americans out of work and 120,000 dead from coronavirus. They'll only stay away even more when games finally resume under commissioner Rob Manfred's almighty executive order to play a 60-game season starting in late July.

Little League, which used to groom Americans to be baseball fans for life, is in steep decline, too. Youth participation in baseball is down more than 4 percentage points in the past decade. The popularity of video games and the average weight of kids is way up, however.

Between scandals, slow play and mind-numbing long games, baseball just ain't happening for young people. Basketball players, like LeBron, the Freak, KD and James Harden are cool. The best baseball player today is Mike Trout. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't recognize him in line at the supermarket, and I know I wouldn't recognize his voice on a radio interview. The most famous pop baseball song played in ballparks today is Centerfield by John Fogerty. The song mentions superstars Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio. They played 50, 60, 70 years ago.

The average age of a baseball fan is 57, not good for the long run. Only 7 percent of baseball fans are 18 and younger. It's going to take more than Tuesday night dollar dogs and Friday night fireworks to pull fans back to the ballpark. And owners and players squabble about money and air dirty laundry in public? How stupid can they be?

But baseball's stupidity isn't in the same stratosphere as what tennis demonstrated the past two weeks. While the sport is officially shut down waiting out the coronavirus pandemic, Novak Djokovic, possibly the most dangerous pro athlete in the world, organized four weeks of exhibition tennis tournaments in Eastern Europe. Djokovic, an anti-vaxxer ("personally I am opposed to vaccination and I wouldn't want to be forced by someone to take a vaccine"), insisted that fans be allowed to attend the tournaments with no social distancing and no face masks required. As a result, the tennis stadium was packed, every seat sold, practically nobody wearing a mask. Meanwhile players high-fived and hugged each other, and posed for selfies with fans. One night after the matches, several players danced shirtless in a conga line in a Belgrade nightclub.

Here's a shocker: so far, four players from the event – Grigor Dimitrov, Borna Coric, Viktor Troicki and the "brains" behind the operation, Djokovic himself – have tested positive for coronavirus. So have one trainer and a coach. Troicki's pregnant wife also has tested positive. We can only wonder how many fans caught the virus. Stupid, thoughtless Djokovic.

Coric said, "I deeply apologize for anyone that I have potentially put at risk by playing the tour. Please stay safe and healthy." Dimitrov posted a photo of himself resting in a bed. Ironically, he is wearing a face mask in the photo. You should have thought about that sooner, buddy. Alexander Zverev, who played the tournament and has since tested negative, promised on Instagram, "I will proceed to follow the self-isolating guidelines. As an added precaution, my team and I will continue with regular testing." He added the praying hands emoji. Marin Cilic, who also tested negative after the event, said, "I will self-isolate for the next 14 days and continue to listen to the advice of medical professionals."

Australian bad boy Nick Kyrgios, who did not play the event, called Djokovic's unprotected tour "boneheaded," which usually is a word reserved for Kyrgios.

The U.S. Open will be held in late August in New York City. There will be ultra-strict safety rules, including players having to stay in airport hotels near the tennis stadium, no travel into Manhattan, limited player entourages, and no fans in attendance. Djokovic doesn't like all the safety measures and says he may not play the Open. If a vaccine is discovered and tennis insists that players roll up their sleeves for the shot, Djokovic is unsure what he'll do. But he had no problem staging an event with no social distancing or face masks, where three players caught the virus.

And Djokovic's parents wonder why their son isn't as popular as Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, two of sports greatest gentlemen and humanitarians, who support health guidelines to keep players safe from coronavirus?

Djokovic's mother: "I don't know why people don't love him like Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Maybe it's because he beat them and became world No. 1 and they couldn't stand it."

Djokovic's father: "There is no doubt that my son is the best in history. Federer was jealous of Novak from the moment my son made his turn. He is jealous because my son is better than he is and will surpass him." His advice for Federer is to quit tennis, "Go man, raise children, do something else, go and ski, do something."

While it's true that Djokovic has a winning record against both Federer and Nadal, and may one day pass both in grand slam titles, greatness doesn't translate to admiration and love from fans. You want to know why fans cheer for Federer and boo your son? It's because he's a jackass, and the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

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Houston gets the best of the Dodgers

Astros behind McCullers Jr. get shutout win in hostile Dodger Stadium

Yordan Alvarez added some big insurance runs against the Dodgers on Tuesday night. Photo by Jayne Kamin-Oncea/Getty Images

Having dropped two of three in San Francisco against the league record-leading Giants over the weekend, the Astros exited an off day on Monday and entered a hostile environment at Dodger Stadium in the first of a two-game series on Tuesday night. With some timely hits and an excellent start from their starter, Houston would grab the win.

Final Score: Astros 3, Dodgers 0

Astros' Record: 65-42, first in the AL West

Winning Pitcher: Lance McCullers Jr. (9-2)

Losing Pitcher: Walker Buehler (11-2)

Houston scores first as McCullers Jr. out-duels Buehler

After nearly turning the game's very first pitch around for a home run but instead going foul, Jose Altuve still started the game with a single in the top of the first. A double play would erase him, though, as the game remained scoreless into the top of the third. Martin Maldonado led that inning off with a double, moved to third on a wild pitch by Walker Buehler, then scored on an RBI double by Michael Brantley, putting Houston ahead 1-0.

Houston threatened again in the top of the fourth, getting two on with two outs, bringing up Martin Maldonado with an empty base, which the Dodgers would use by intentionally walking him to get to Lance McCullers Jr., who grounded out to strand all three runners. He made up for it on the mound, though, out-dueling Buehler, who finished six innings while allowing a run by getting into the seventh scoreless. He would get two outs into that frame while giving up a single and a walk, leaving two on base for Blake Taylor, who came in to get the third out. McCullers Jr.'s final line: 6.2 IP, 4 H, 0 ER, 3 BB, 9 K, 110 P.

Alvarez adds insurance as Astros take the opener in LA

Clinging to the one-run lead in the top of the eighth, Carlos Correa worked a one-out walk to bring Yordan Alvarez to the plate, who demolished a 415-foot two-run homer to add two big insurance runs, extending the lead to 3-0. Kendall Graveman took over out of the bullpen in the bottom of the eighth and, despite allowing a leadoff single and hitting a batter, was able to finish a scoreless inning.

With Ryan Pressly on the paternity list, Houston handed the ball to Ryne Stanek to close things out in the bottom of the ninth. He would get the job done, earning the save by retiring the Dodgers in order, giving the Astros the win at the dismay of the fans in Los Angeles.

Up Next: This short series's second and final game will begin thirty minutes earlier on Wednesday at 8:40 PM Central. For the Dodgers, they will get the debut of Max Scherzer (8-4, 2.76 ERA), while Jake Odorizzi (4-5, 4.30 ERA) will take the mound for the Astros.

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