Santa Jermaine hands out gifts for the Houston sports scene
"It's the most wonderful time of the year!" I'm sure you've all heard that jingle/song line/phrase in one way shape or form over the last few weeks. Probably more than many of you would have cared to hear. It's Christmas time and you'll be hearing all sorts of Christmas music, Christmas jingles, and the like.
Every year at Christmas, you inevitably get a gift, or gifts, that you don't like. You may have even gotten gifts you can't return. Here in Houston, there are some special gifts Santa Jermaine would like to give out to some of the local sports scene:
I would like to gift Chris Paul some new legs this year. Last year, as many Rockets fans would say, the team was "a hamstring away from the Finals!" Well Houston, I'm here to take away the pain from the idea of paying a 33 year old point guard $160 million dollar extension this past offseason. Once he gets his new legs, think of the scene from Forrest Gump when he takes off running and sheds the leg braces.
This team is poised to be a World Series contender for years to come. However, they have some key decisions to make, and they need to be made now. I will gift the Astros Yankee/Red Sox/Dodger money. Sure, this won't be the answer to all their problems, but it will solve a lot of them. Justin Verlander and Gerrit Cole will be free agents after the season. George Springer, Carlos Correa, and Alex Bregman will all need to be paid as well. Hell, Dallas Keuchel doesn't look like he's poised to return this offseason and Lance McCullers is out with Tommy John surgery and will need to be resigned when/if he's healthy.
The Beard won league MVP last season, but the team is off to a bad start. He's doing what he can to keep them afloat for now, but he needs help. Well, help is on the way in the form of a Michael Jordan/Kobe Bryant-type killer instinct and defensive intensity. Harden is the best one on one scorers in this generation. The constant complaint across the board is that he lacks that killer instinct, defensive intensity, and consistent effort guys like MJ and Kobe had. If he gets this gift, do you think the Rockets win a ring any time soon? Better yet: why do they need this gift and Chris Paul's gift? Well…
…the Rockets need those gifts because their G.M. is sometimes too smart for his own good. I want to give Morey the gift of using his Jedi mind tricks when trading again. He was able to get Harden from the Thunder for a bag of basketballs and some magic beans. If Chris Paul's gift fails to work, or the team isn't able to improve from within or maybe even if it's not working over the next couple years, how could you waste Harden's prime?
Watson is living up to all the hype. He's a playmaking quarterback that will be with the Texans for the next 10-15 years…if he's healthy and continues to improve. For Watson, I will gift him Tom Brady and Drew Brees' ability to stay healthy, as well as their decision-making. If there's a knock on him, it's his health and ability to read defenses and get the ball off. Taking sacks will contribute to his health questions. This is by proxy a gift to DeAndre Hopkins. A healthy Watson with better decision-making will help him in his quest to be this team's all-time best receiver.
Gow Media- The gift of me as a full-time employee. The Dynamo- A bigger fan base. U of H Football- A great coach who wants to be a Coog for life. Bill O'Brien- An offensive coordinator/quality control specialist.
There are more gifts to give. If you guys have any, hit me up. I'd love to know what you think.