FUN WITH THE SCHEDULE

Fred Faour: Doing the silly thing where we predict the Texans record based on Thursday's schedule release

Fred Faour: Doing the silly thing where we predict the Texans record based on Thursday's schedule release
J.J. Watt will return but can he stay healthy? Bob Levey/Getty Images

The Texans schedule was released Thursday night. We could do the silly prediction game, but that would be ridiculous. We should just analyze the actual schedule. But nobody wants that. So instead we will do the silly prediction game.

First the meaningless preseason schedule:

 

Week

Day

Date

Opponent

TV Network

Kickoff Time  

1

Thursday

Aug. 9

at Kansas City Chiefs

KTRK

7:30 p.m.

2

Saturday

Aug. 18

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

KTRK

7:00 p.m.

3

Saturday

Aug. 25

at Los Angeles Rams

KTRK

3:00 p.m.

4

Thu.  

Aug. 30

DALLAS COWBOYS

KTRK

7:00 p.m.


 

None of these games mean anything so who cares? Let’s get to the important stuff. The regular season:

Week

Day

Date

Opponent

TV Network

Kickoff Time

1

Sunday

Sept. 9

at New England Patriots

CBS

Noon




 

     2

Sunday

Sept. 16

at Tennessee Titans

CBS

Noon

3

Sunday

Sept. 23

NEW YORK GIANTS

FOX

Noon

4

Sunday

Sept. 30

at Indianapolis Colts

CBS

Noon

5

Sunday

Oct. 7

DALLAS COWBOYS

NBC#

7:20 p.m.

6

Sunday

Oct. 14

BUFFALO BILLS

CBS

Noon

7

Sunday

Oct. 21

at Jacksonville Jaguars

CBS

Noon

8

Thursday

Oct. 25

MIAMI DOLPHINS

FOX/NFLN#

7:20 p.m.

9

Sunday

Nov. 4

at Denver Broncos

CBS

3:05 p.m.

10

  

BYE

  

11

Sunday

Nov. 18

at Washington Redskins

CBS

Noon

12

Monday

Nov. 26

TENNESSEE TITANS

ESPN#

7:15 p.m.

13

Sunday

Dec. 2

CLEVELAND BROWNS

CBS

Noon

14

Sunday

Dec. 9

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

CBS

Noon

15

Saturday

Dec. 15

at New York Jets

NFLN#

TBD

16

Sunday

Dec. 23

at Philadelphia Eagles

CBS

Noon

17

Sunday

Dec. 30

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

CBS

Noon

 

# - Televised Nationally.

Game 1 at New England: The Texans open with another road game in Foxboro. The bad news? They can't win there. The good news? If it is going to happen, wouldn't it be now? The Texans will presumably be 100 percent healthy, and with Deshaun Watson dealing, they might have a shot. Most likely they open 0-1 with a loss in New England, because that is what happens every year.

Game 2 at Tennessee: The Titans should be more talented this season, but who knows what kind of coach Mike Vrabel will be? Marcus Mariota may have a breakout year, but if the Texans are going to be a good team, this is one you need to win. 

Game 3 Giants: The Texans get a home game against a Giants team that may or may not be a competitor. Give them a win.

Game 4 at Indianapolis: Wouldn't it be great to see a Watson vs. Andrew Luck matchup? This game (and the Colts season) hinges on a healthy Luck. Guessing it doesn't happen, which means the Texans should escape with a win.

Game 5 Dallas: Another game where we have no idea what the opponent is going to look like. Or the Texans for that matter. It's a home game. Give it to the Texans. You can count on fights in the parking lot. 

Game 6 Buffalo: The Bills made the playoffs last year, but also look weaker heading into 2018. Bills Mafia breaks some tables tailgating. The Texans roll but Watson gets injured late.

Game 7 at Jacksonville: The Texans are feeling good about life at 5-1, but the Jags are legit Super Bowl contenders. Brandon Weeden plays poorly and the Texans get blown out.

Game 8 Miami: The Dolphins are an absolute mess. Short week, home game. Weeden does just enough for the Texans to hit the halfway point at 6-2.

Game 9 at Denver: Case Keenum gets his revenge and the Texans fall to 6-3 as Weeden is also injured.

Game 10 at Washington: Watson returns but is not 100 percent and Alex Smith does what he did often in KC -- beats the Texans.

Game 11 Tennessee: Watson returns to form and the Texans take care of the Titans to go 7-4.

Game 12 Cleveland: The Browns will be better, but a healthy Watson at home gives the Texans a win.

Game 13 Indianapolis: By now, Andrew Luck is healthy. And he is too much for the Texans. First home loss of the season and an 8-5 mark.

Game 14 at NY Jets: The Jets are surprisingly decent, but Baker Mayfield has an off game and the Texans get win No. 9 and are looking good.

Game 15 at Philadelphia: The Eagles are well on their way to the best record in the NFC. Watson puts up a valiant effort, but the Texans come up short.

Game 16 Jacksonville: The Jags need a win to clinch best record in the AFC. They get it with a last-minute field goal. 

Final record: 9-7 (of course). It is good enough for a wild card.

Disclaimer: All predictions are based on relative health. 

Disclaimer 2: All predictions are complete BS since we haven't even had the draft and we are only doing this to satisfy everyone's morbid urge to know the season results in April. 

Disclaimer 3: 9-7 is never a bad guess with the Texans.

 

 

 

 

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

ESPN Houston 97.5 FM
Have the Astros turned a corner? Photo by Logan Riely/Getty Images.

After finishing up with the Guardians the Astros have a rather important series for early May with the Seattle Mariners heading to town for the weekend. While it’s still too early to be an absolute must-win series for the Astros, losing the series to drop seven or eight games off the division lead would make successfully defending their American League West title that much more unlikely.

Since their own stumble out of the gate to a 6-10 record the Mariners have been racking up series wins, including one this week over the Atlanta Braves. The M’s offense is largely Mmm Mmm Bad, but their pitching is sensational. In 18 games after the 6-10 start, the Mariners gave up five runs in a game once. In the other 17 games they only gave up four runs once. Over the 18 games their starting pitchers gave up 18 earned runs total with a 1.44 earned run average. That’s absurd. Coming into the season Seattle’s starting rotation was clearly better on paper than those of the Astros and Texas Rangers, and it has crystal clearly played out as such into the second month of the schedule.

While it’s natural to focus on and fret over one’s own team's woes when they are plentiful as they have been for the Astros, a reminder that not all grass is greener elsewhere. Alex Bregman has been awful so far. So has young Mariners’ superstar Julio Rodriguez. A meager four extra base hits over his first 30 games were all Julio produced down at the ballyard. That the Mariners are well ahead of the Astros with J-Rod significantly underperforming is good news for Seattle.

Caratini comes through!

So it turns out the Astros are allowed to have a Puerto Rican-born catcher who can hit a little bit. Victor Caratini’s pedigree is not that of a quality offensive player, but he has swung the bat well thus far in his limited playing time and provided the most exciting moment of the Astros’ season with his two-out two-run 10th inning game winning home run Tuesday night. I grant that one could certainly say “Hey! Ronel Blanco finishing off his no-hitter has been the most exciting moment.” I opt for the suddenness of Caratini’s blow turning near defeat into instant victory for a team that has been lousy overall to this point. Frittering away a game the Astros had led 8-3 would have been another blow. Instead, to the Victor belong the spoils.

Pudge Rodriguez is the greatest native Puerto Rican catcher, but he was no longer a good hitter when with the Astros for the majority of the 2009 season. Then there’s Martin Maldonado.

Maldonado’s hitting stats with the Astros look Mike Piazza-ian compared to what Jose Abreu was doing this season. Finally, mercifully for all, Abreu is off the roster as he accepts a stint at rookie-level ball in Florida to see if he can perform baseball-CPR on his swing and career. Until or unless he proves otherwise, Abreu is washed up and at some point the Astros will have to accept it and swallow whatever is left on his contract that runs through next season. For now Abreu makes over $120,000 per game to not be on the roster. At his level of performance, that’s a better deal than paying him that money to be on the roster.

Abreu’s seven hits in 71 at bats for an .099 batting average with a .269 OPS is a humiliating stat line. In 2018 George Springer went to sleep the night of June 13 batting .293 after going hitless in his last four at bats in a 13-5 Astros’ win over Oakland. At the time no one could have ever envisioned that Springer had started a deep, deep funk which would have him endure a nightmarish six for 78 stretch at the plate (.077 batting average). Springer then hit .293 the rest of the season.

Abreu’s exile opened the door for Joey Loperfido to begin his Major League career. Very cool for Loperfido to smack a two-run single in his first game. He also struck out twice. Loperfido will amass whiffs by the bushel, he had 37 strikeouts in 101 at bats at AAA Sugar Land. Still, if he can hit .225 with some walks mixed in (he drew 16 with the Space Cowboys) and deliver some of his obvious power (13 homers in 25 games for the ex-Skeeters) that’s an upgrade over Abreu/Jon Singleton, as well as over Jake Meyers and the awful showing Chas McCormick has posted so far. Frankly, it seems unwise that the Astros only had Loperfido play seven games at first base in the minors this year. If McCormick doesn’t pick it up soon and with Meyers displaying limited offensive upside, the next guy worth a call-up is outfielder Pedro Leon. In January 2021 the Astros gave Leon four million dollars to sign out of Cuba and called him a “rapid mover to the Major Leagues.” Well…

Over his first three minor league seasons Leon flashed tools but definitely underwhelmed. He has been substantially better so far this year. He turns 26 May 28. Just maybe the Astros offense could be the cause of fewer Ls with Loperfido at first and Leon in center field.

Catch our weekly Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast. Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and I discuss varied Astros topics. The first post for the week generally goes up Monday afternoon (second part released Tuesday) via YouTube: stone cold stros - YouTube with the complete audio available via Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome