A HOME RUN TIP

Here's how to avoid the longest lines at Minute Maid

Here's how to avoid the longest lines at Minute Maid
Photo courtesy of Aramark

This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

Here's a sports tip you won't find anywhere else.

When the Astros return to Minute Maid Park for Game 6 (if necessary) or Game 7 (it may take that long to dismiss the Yankees, they're good), don't rush to the concession stands the minute you enter the stadium.

Where and when to eat during the game

According to my source, the playoff games are so intense that fans aren't leaving their seats for food like during the regular season. If you wait until the second inning, there won't be any lines at the concession stands. That goes for the main concourse and the upper deck. I was at Game 1 and ordered by hot dog and Coke Zero (nice touch) with zero wait. The only food stand with lines from first pitch to walk-off homer is Torchy's Tacos, which curiously is missing an apostrophe in its Minute Maid Park sign. (When it comes to tacos, grammar is every bit as important as guacamole.) Every other stand, though, is clear sailing from second inning on.

I am giving this tip against my own interests and better judgment. It may come back to bite me. I remember…

Worst best tip ever

When I arrived in Houston, I rented a house near Gessner and I-10. There was a supermarket two streets over and every night at 10, they sold all their remaining fried chicken for 10 cents a piece. Which fit right into my budget. (Newspaper writers don't exactly earn salaries like inexperienced interns at City Hall in Houston.)

I would get to the supermarket at 9:55 pm, dawdle at the deli counter asking silly questions about potato salad, and at 10 pm sharp, I cleaned them out of fried chicken. Whatever they had, I bought. It was such an incredible bargain, for a while there, my diet consisted mainly of fried chicken and potato salad.

Stupid me, I wrote about the great fried chicken bargain. I guess I was more popular then than I am now, but soon there was a crowd hanging around the deli counter, counting down to 10 pm like it was New Year's Eve in Times Square. Two nights later, the supermarket ended the dime deal. Darn it, I should have kept my trap shut. If I go to an Astros game later this week, there better not be a line for hot dogs in the fourth inning.

I'll just say this: if I were a dedicated civil servant for the City of Houston, and the mayor hired an intern with barely any real work experience at twice my salary, I'd quit. The only thing more insulting to city staffers is the mayor's ridiculous explanation. Even bigger problem: the other candidates, may be worse.

Getting drafty with the Texans

Two months ago, Fred Faour wrote an excellent piece in SportsMap about the Texans' fair-to-middling track record with their third-round picks during the Bill O'Brien era. Faour started with 2014 and ran right up to 2019, a few hits, a couple of incompletes, but mostly busts.

It would be interesting how Faour rated the Texans third-round selection in 2013. That pick was Brennan Williams, an offensive tackle from North Carolina. Williams unfortunately suffered a knee injury and never got into a game for the Texans or any other team. What's he doing now? Last week, the WWE introduced a new lineup of announcers for its Monday Night Raw show. One of the commentators is an extremely large man going by the name Dio Maddin. That's former Texans 3rd-round pick Brennan Williams.

Continue on CultureMap to hear Ken Hoffman's thoughts on Daryl Morey.

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The Astros are officially rolling! Composite Getty Image.

The Houston Astros didn’t just sweep the defending champs this weekend, they changed the tone of their season.

Dominant pitching. Star power. Road swagger. The three-game dismantling of the Los Angeles Dodgers at Chavez Ravine wasn’t about revenge or validation. It was about showing, once and for all, that this version of the Astros, short-handed and all, belongs squarely in the conversation with baseball’s elite.

 

A statement series

 

The Astros pitching staff was lights out against one of the most dangerous lineups in baseball, holding the Dodgers to just six runs across three games, including two contests where LA managed just a single run. Lance McCullers Jr., much-maligned after getting shelled by the Cubs last week, bounced back in a big way. He worked around four walks, giving up just one run on a solo homer, a much-needed course correction as the Astros evaluate their playoff rotation options.

On the offensive side, the stars delivered in a big way. Jose Altuve torched Dodgers pitching with three home runs, seven RBIs, two walks, and just one strikeout. Christian Walker matched him with six hits of his own, including a pair of long balls and six RBIs.

 

A shift in expectations?

 

This wasn’t just a series win. This was a proof of concept.

Houston came into the series already heating up, now they’re officially on fire. Over the last 30 days, the Astros rank third in runs and fifth in RBIs. For the season, they’re top 10 in nearly every key offensive category: eighth in OPS, first in batting average, ninth in slugging. Defensively, the numbers are just as strong. They lead MLB in strikeouts and opponents’ batting average, and rank second in WHIP.

Put it all together, and you’ve got a team with top-five upside in both pitching and offense. The pieces are clicking. The vibes are real. And the Astros suddenly look like a legitimate World Series contender again.

 

Is help on the way?

 

Reliever Hector Neris rejoined the team this week, offering a veteran boost to a bullpen that’s been leaned on heavily. Neris brings postseason pedigree and a reputation as a clubhouse leader. The Astros hope a return to familiar surroundings, and the guidance of one of the best pitching development staffs in the league, can get him back on track.

Tayler Scott returns on a minor league deal, and while the move may not turn heads, it adds another layer of depth to a bullpen that’s already one of the league’s best.

 

Background noise in LA

 

No Astros-Dodgers series goes by without a little extra noise and this one was no different. During the broadcast, former Cy Young winner and Dodgers analyst Orel Hershiser raised eyebrows by implying that Houston’s offensive surge might not have been entirely on the level.

Predictable? Absolutely. Meaningful? Not even close.

If anything, it’s a weird kind of compliment. No one questions legitimacy when you’re losing. But after a lopsided 18-1 beat down people start reaching for answers, or excuses.

Inside the Astros clubhouse, though, that chatter doesn’t register.

They know exactly what this sweep meant. And so does the rest of the league.

There's so much more to get to! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!

The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday.

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*ChatGPT assisted.

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