EVERY-THING SPORTS

Here's your all-encompassing glossary for the offseason and free agency

Rockets Russell Westbrook, James Harden, Stephen Salas, play
What's he trying to say? Composite image by Jack Brame
James Harden

Good morning class! My name is Mr. Every and I'll be your teacher for today's class known as "Sports Terminology", or what some may refer to by its nickname "B.S. 101."

We're going through some interesting times right now. Every sports season has been upended to some degree because of COVID. The Astros are coming off a cheating scandal, making the ALCS, and almost making a World Series despite losing Gerrit Cole to free agency and Justin Verlander to injury. The Rockets are in all sorts of disarray! Nobody on the team seems to be happy and they all have requested trades. The Texans are Texan-ing their way into deeper irrelevancy in the most Texans way possible. Not to mention ALL THREE FRANCHISES have gotten rid of their head coach and general manager in one form or another!

Throughout this time, you'll hear a lot of words, phrases, terms and things that may be hard to decipher. Here's a glossary or some terms and phrases to help you figure out what's going on:

"(insert player name) isn't going anywhere": This phrase has multiple meanings. One is more literal and means said player is not, in fact, going anywhere and the organization wants him to stay. The more common meaning is that this is a holding statement until we find the best offer. We want the fans and media to calm down until we find the best offer.

"I didn't request a trade": This either means I didn't request a trade, or I requested one just not publicly.

"I plan to test free agency": I'm looking to secure the biggest bag I can! This could also mean I'm looking to win a ring. Rarely does this mean I'm looking for the best mashup of winning and making money.

"I'm opting out of my contract": Typically reserved for the NBA, this means a player is either A) re-signing a bigger, long term deal with his existing team or B) he's overvaluing himself and about to meet a sad reality.

"We're still committed to building a winner": We're looking to maximize our profit margins, even if that means we won't win. This is organization speak for we're about to start losing, but will be more profitable.

"I'm not happy with my current contract/role": Here's a doozy. Some players say this when they're actually outplayed their contract and/or are ready for a more prime time role. Totally get it in either instance. Then, there are the times in which you wish you could slap the taste out of the mouth that said this because they're completely delusional.

"I'm going to do what's best for me and my family":Again, I'm going to secure the biggest bag out there! On the rare occasion a player is taking his family's best interest into consideration, he's probably made his money and/or won rings, so he's looking to stabilize his family's home-base.

"I want to play for a contender": Guys who say this know what winning a ring would mean to their legacy. Even if their ring is discredited some by forming/joining a super team, they want to feel the validation of being a champion. This is coming from guys much earlier in their careers now, as opposed to older vets ring chasing.

There are other terms, words, and phrases you may hear. Those may or may not be on the test, but you're responsible for them as well. Now class, I want you to study these and prepare yourselves for the test next week. DO NOT! I repeat: DO NOT call one of the ESPN 97.5 shows sounding like an idiot after reading this! Conduct yourselves with some decency and intelligence dammit! I will immediately give you an F without grading your test! See y'all next week!

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

ESPN Houston 97.5 FM
The Texans square off with the Packers this Sunday! Composite Getty Image.

The Texans make just their third ever visit to Lambeau Field Sunday. It’s a dandy matchup as the Texans try to run their record to 6-1 at the expense of the 4-2 Green Bay Packers. The Texans have one win and one loss in Wisconsin. In 2008 the gameday high temperature was 13 degrees. Kris Brown kicked a 40 yard field goal as time expired to give the Texans a 24-21 win over a Packers team that struggled to a 6-10 record under first-year starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers. The Texans posted their second consecutive 8-8 finish that year. In 2016 the mercury reached a balmy high of 34 degrees as the Texans fell 21-13 at Lambeau. Inexplicably, Rodgers somehow managed to win the quarterback matchup with Brock Osweiler. The Texans and Packers each won their division that year. Both Texans’ trips to “America’s Dairyland” occurred in December. No risk of frozen tundra this time around. The forecast for Green Bay Sunday calls for a high of 75 degrees! That’s almost 20 degrees warmer than normal there for October 20.

It’s a dynamic QB matchup with C.J. Stroud and Jordan Love sharing the field. Love broke out in a huge way in 2023 after serving a two-year apprenticeship under Rodgers. After a stumbling 3-6 start to their season the Packers went 6-2 the rest of the way to snag a playoff spot. They obliterated the Cowboys in a Wild Card game in Arlington (before everyone obliterated the Cowboys in Arlington...) then led at the 49ers with under 90 seconds to go before San Francisco scored to win 24-21. The Packers made crystal clear their belief in Love by signing him to a four-year 220 million dollar contract extension in July. That’s 55 mil per season. Stroud becomes extension-eligible after next season. Anyone think he won’t be in position to command at least 65 mil per season?

Stroud sure looks to be the guy to finally give the Texans the long-term stability and excellence they have never had at the most important position in the sport. The Pack is all in on Love continuing its unreal long-term QB stability and excellence. Love took the reins after Rodgers helmed the offense for 15 seasons. Rodgers took the reins after Brett Favre’s 16-year tenure. So if Love makes it for nine years as the starter, that’s three primary QBs in 40 years. Absolutely amazing.

After missing two games because of a sprained knee ligament suffered in the final seconds of the Packers’ season opening loss to the Eagles in Brazil, Love has thrown 10 touchdown passes in three games. But he has only completed 59 percent of his passes, and has thrown at least one interception per game.

The Texans’ first trip to the NFC North this season went brutally badly, the 34-7 beatdown from Minnesota. The Vikings beat the Packers 31-29 in week four of the season. That was Love’s first game back, he threw four touchdown passes and three picks. One defensive weapon the Texans will have against the Pack they did not have against the Vikes is Denico Autry. The 34-year-old Autry returns from his six-game banned substance suspension. That happens as one of the fill-ins for him, Mario Edwards, starts his own four-game substance abuse suspension. That should be a net improvement for the Texans.

X-factors

The single biggest variable in swinging the outcome of football games is turnovers. So far this season the Packers have been a takeaway machine. Last season the Packers generated just 18 turnovers over their 17 regular season games, only six teams took the ball away less often. Through just six games this season the Packers already have 17 takeaways. No other NFL team has more than 13, the Texans have just seven. The Packers have produced exactly three turnovers in five of their six games, and got two in the other. Every defense preaches turnovers, so it’s not as if first-year Green Bay defensive coordinator Jeff Hafley has introduced radical concepts that are yielding magical results. But the results are what they are.

If the Texans take care of the ball, they have a terrific chance to win. Having Joe Mixon back aids the cause on two fronts. One, Mixon is obviously the Texans’ best running back. Two, Mixon last fumbled in 2021. The Texans probably best plan to score 25 or more points to win this one because the Packers figure to score a bit. In Love’s four starts the Pack has lit the scoreboard for 29, 29, 24, and 34 points. On the other hand, the Texans’ D has been pretty stout, allowing the third-fewest yards per game (Green Bay rates 18th). It’s a strength vs. strength battle. The Texans have allowed no opponent more than 313 yards in total offense. The Packers have amassed at least 378 yards in five of their six games, and managed 328 in their worst performance.

For Texans’ conversation, catch Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and me on our Texans On Tap podcasts. Thursdays feature a preview of the upcoming game, and then we go live (then available on demand) after the final gun of the game: Texans on Tap - YouTube

The Astros are always in season for discussion. Our Stone Cold ‘Stros podcasts drop Mondays: Click here to watch!

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome