FALCON POINTS

Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche

Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche
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Sports might be the worst when it comes to cliches. Fans and broadcasters alike can't help themselves.

Defense wins championships.

It doesn't get any better than this.

The best defense is a good offense.

One game at a time.

No I in team.

It is what it is.

Then there is my personal favorite, "you guys have a face for radio. When was the last time you heard that?"

Um, yesterday, and 11 other times this week. But yes, you are very creative!

These and many more are all lame. They are lazy. They are dumb.

And then there is the worst one of all:

Houston, we have a problem.

Or, the derivative, Houston, you have a problem.

Memo to fans in other cities: It is time to retire this phrase. Memo to announcers (including the Fox announcer who used it Sunday night) and worse yet, headline writers: You are pathetic and about as creative as a rock.

And if you are from Houston and have used it, delete your Twitter account immediately and pray for forgiveness. You are what we affectionately call a "dumb."

How stale is it? The phrase comes from an Apollo mission (that's space flight, which our country once did) message in the 1960s. That's SIXTIES. It was clever 50 years ago. Yet a quick Twitter search for the phrase yielded thousands of results. A google search? How about 281 MILLION results. So if you use it, you aren't even one in a million. You are one in 281 million. But that makes you clever and creative, right? If we are going to use phrases from the 1960s, how about "make love not war?" Or better yet, "we all live in a yellow submarine?"

Rest assured, there will be fan signs in Indianapolis this week, as there always are. Yankees fans will do it, too. (Although because it's New York, the signs will likely be misspelled. Or it will be "youse" have a problem).

First off, if you make signs for sporting events and are over the age of 12, you have your own issues. But do people really sit around and think, "hey, you know what would be clever?"

The real shame? Houston sports teams have no shortage of targets for clever phrases. You could write a book on Bill O'Brien alone. James Harden is just begging to be made fun of by anyone. Even the Astros have plenty of players to go after.

Houston fans collectively groan every time they hear the phrase. And they hear or see it A LOT. Public service announcement: It makes you look silly, boring and yes, dumb.

So if you are thinking about tweeting it, stop yourself. If you are diligently working on a sign, stop it. YOU are the problem.

And if you are an announcer? Go back to calling junior high school games.

It's also incumbent on the rest of us to stop this menace in our lifetime. If you see something, say something. Send them a shame bell. Or better yet, a link to this story.

Then again, it is what it is.

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The short-handed Astros beat the Rockies, 5-3. Composite Getty Image.

Jose Altuve hit a go-ahead two-run single in the sixth inning to move into second place on Houston's career hits list and the Astros beat the Colorado Rockies 5-3 on Wednesday night to win their 12th straight series.

 

Altuve went 2 for 5 and gave the Astros a 4-2 lead with his 2,315th career hit, moving him past Jeff Bagwell. Craig Biggio leads the franchise with 3,060 career hits.

Altuve spoke about his relationship with Bagwell, and more after the game.

 

Hunter Brown (9-3) allowed two runs on six hits in six innings. He struck out eight to join Lance McCullers Jr. as the only Astros pitchers to reach 500 in their first 86 appearances.

Bennett Sousa pitched the ninth for his third save.

Jake Meyers had a one-out double off Austin Gomber in the first and Altuve and Cam Smith followed with back-to-back singles for a 1-0 lead in the first.

Rookie Shay Whitcomb hit his first home run 451 feet to left-center field for a 2-0 lead in the second.

 

Cooper Hummel singled and Mauricio Dubón drew a walk off reliever Angel Chivilli (1-4) in the sixth. Altuve drove a two-out pitch from Jake Bird to center to score both. Smith followed with an RBI single for a 5-2 lead.

 

Thairo Estrada went 3 for 4 and singled and scored ahead of Mickey Moniak's 12th home run to tie it 2-2 in the Rockies' second.

Gomber allowed two runs on eight hits in five innings.

Houston has won three in a row and 16 of 21.

Key moment

Brown struck out Hunter Goodman in the third for No. 500 and then fanned Jordan Beck swinging on a 99.8 mph fastball — his fastest this season — to end the inning.

Key stat

The Rockies have lost all 14 series at home, dropping the first two games 13 times.

Up next

Astros LHP Brandon Walter (1-1, 3.34 ERA) starts Thursday's series finale opposite Rockies LHP Kyle Freeland (1-9, 5.56).

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