FALCON POINTS
Hey sports world: It's time to retire the "Houston, you/we have a problem" cliche
Oct 16, 2019, 6:54 am
FALCON POINTS
Sports might be the worst when it comes to cliches. Fans and broadcasters alike can't help themselves.
Defense wins championships.
It doesn't get any better than this.
The best defense is a good offense.
One game at a time.
No I in team.
It is what it is.
Then there is my personal favorite, "you guys have a face for radio. When was the last time you heard that?"
Um, yesterday, and 11 other times this week. But yes, you are very creative!
These and many more are all lame. They are lazy. They are dumb.
And then there is the worst one of all:
Houston, we have a problem.
Or, the derivative, Houston, you have a problem.
Memo to fans in other cities: It is time to retire this phrase. Memo to announcers (including the Fox announcer who used it Sunday night) and worse yet, headline writers: You are pathetic and about as creative as a rock.
And if you are from Houston and have used it, delete your Twitter account immediately and pray for forgiveness. You are what we affectionately call a "dumb."
How stale is it? The phrase comes from an Apollo mission (that's space flight, which our country once did) message in the 1960s. That's SIXTIES. It was clever 50 years ago. Yet a quick Twitter search for the phrase yielded thousands of results. A google search? How about 281 MILLION results. So if you use it, you aren't even one in a million. You are one in 281 million. But that makes you clever and creative, right? If we are going to use phrases from the 1960s, how about "make love not war?" Or better yet, "we all live in a yellow submarine?"
Rest assured, there will be fan signs in Indianapolis this week, as there always are. Yankees fans will do it, too. (Although because it's New York, the signs will likely be misspelled. Or it will be "youse" have a problem).
First off, if you make signs for sporting events and are over the age of 12, you have your own issues. But do people really sit around and think, "hey, you know what would be clever?"
The real shame? Houston sports teams have no shortage of targets for clever phrases. You could write a book on Bill O'Brien alone. James Harden is just begging to be made fun of by anyone. Even the Astros have plenty of players to go after.
Houston fans collectively groan every time they hear the phrase. And they hear or see it A LOT. Public service announcement: It makes you look silly, boring and yes, dumb.
So if you are thinking about tweeting it, stop yourself. If you are diligently working on a sign, stop it. YOU are the problem.
And if you are an announcer? Go back to calling junior high school games.
It's also incumbent on the rest of us to stop this menace in our lifetime. If you see something, say something. Send them a shame bell. Or better yet, a link to this story.
Then again, it is what it is.
Michael Wacha scattered four hits over six innings, Vinnie Pasquantino homered and the Kansas City Royals beat the Houston Astros 2-0 for the second straight night Saturday to run their winning streak to six.
Wacha (1-3) once again received little run support, but the veteran right-hander made the meager production stand up on chilly evening at Kauffman Stadium. He struck out six while walking two and never allowed a runner past second base.
Steven Cruz worked the seventh for Kansas City, his seventh appearance this season without allowing a run. John Schreiber left runners on the corners in the eighth, and Carlos Estévez had a perfect ninth for his seventh save.
Bobby Witt Jr. doubled and scored in the first inning for the Royals, extending his career-best hitting streak to 18 games.
Framber Valdez (1-3) gave up a sacrifice fly to Mark Canha in the first inning and Pasquantino's shot down the right-field line in the fifth. Otherwise, the Astros left-hander kept Kansas City in check, allowing three hits and two walks over eight innings.
Valdez had tossed seven shutout innings against the Royals last August in a 3-2 victory.
The Astros, who have lost five straight at the K, have managed just nine hits while getting shut out over the first two games of the series. They had rolled into Kansas City having won three straight and five of their last six games.
Isaac Parades hit a two-out double and Jeremy Peña followed with a single to give Houston runners on the corners in the eighth inning. Schreiber bounced back to strike out Christian Walker with a four-seam fastball to end the threat.
The Royals have only scored seven runs in the 32 innings that Wacha has pitched this season.
RHP Hunter Brown (3-1, 1.16) tries to extend a 24-inning scoreless streak for Houston in the series finale Sunday. LHP Kris Bubic (2-1, 1.45) gets the start for Kansas City after tossing seven shutout innings against the Rockies his last time out.