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As you're reading this I'm sure your mom is getting signed. So as of noon on Wednesday, March 13 this is my grading. Enjoy!
Texans (F)
So many mistakes, where do I begin? Let's start with Ronald Darby. Its doubtful that Philly will resign him. This is the PERECT fit for one of the Texans biggest needs. Darby is young and experienced. He's got speed and a good eye. Did Houston reach out? Of course not. But what Houston DID do is let Mathieu AND Kareem Jackson slip away only to turn around and sign Roby and Gipson. I'm okay with the 1 year trial test on Roby, Gipson... Meh. The Texans time is NOW. They're letting their talent waste. Watt doesn't have that many years left and what's happening with Clowney? They franchised tagged him and have two choices now… 1) Pay him a mother load next year which we all know won't happen or 2) Tag him again and watch him not show up. Houston has the cap space… I'm just waiting for the fans to get what they deserve. Impress me, Houston. PLEASE.
NYG (F-)
If there is ever a team that can out do the Texans on mistakes, here they are. If anyone knows what the New York Giants are doing, feel free to tweet at me and let me know. First, you get rid of your number one defensive player. Then you trade away your number one wide receiver, who just happens to be one of the best receivers in the entire NFL for two picks and a trash safety? But you keep Eli. I understand in the rebuilding concept but this franchise is actually rebuilding BACKWARDS. If anything, you lock in your stars and look for an Eli replacement. *sigh*
BUFFALO WT..(F)
The Bills are the 21 year old me.. blowing through a check on stuff I didn't even have anything to show for in the end.
Frank Gore - old
Beasley - overpaid
Morse - Eh.
Kevin Johnson - Concussions are contagious? Because the head office caught one.
This may, in fact, be some of the worst FA moves I've seen in a while.
EAGLES (B)
TRUTH: Howie Roseman is a magician. Not really, but the man is pretty damn good at shuffling the cap money around. Let's address the mistake.. Philadelphia gave away their best pass rusher for free. Now, let the dust settle. Malik Jackson, DT from Jacksonville blessed the line with a 3yr/$30mil. Picture this… Jackson next to Fletch, Graham & Long. Now THAT'S a sexy front four. It gets even sexier hours later. DeSean Jackson comes home. The Eagles have now addressed two of their bigger concerns going into 2019. Wentz will have Jeffery, Ertz, Goedert, likely Agholor to stay in the slot and D Jac to stretch the field. Onto the draft.
BROWNS (B)
Two words, Sheldon Richardson. Three initials, OBJ. This is huge. But you know what they say about dream teams, beware. Can Cleveland pull this off, or does it just look good on paper? Is this for real or is this for fun?
NINERS (C)
Now I know what you're thinking, why does this team get a C? Everything looks so good right now, right? Minus the hefty price tags. But I see right through this. Here come the 49ers to make us all think that they will be great and this will be "the season." No thanks, I'm out this year. Continue to over spend and make no noise.
JAGUARS ( B )
The Jags have done nothing to allow me to give them a fair grade. BUT. Technically they SHOULD receive an automatic A for replacing that garbage can.. I mean.. Blake Bortles. "Holly, what do you think of Foles to Jacksonville?!" Foles deserves that money. Is he the new face of that franchise? Probably not. There are a select FEW QBs who actually have the ability to turn just about any team into something decent. Foles is not an Aaron Rodgers or a Tom Brady. And, as much as you may want to believe... I am not one to foresee the future. However, if Nick Foles can't cure the cancer in that locker room, I'm not sure what the answer is.
RAIDERS (C)
Adding big name AB isn't my focus. They upgraded with Trent Brown but way over paid. I'm also not a huge fan of Joyner. Give me more because I'm still not "WOW'd.
PACKERS (B)
Let's keep this one short and sweet. LOVE the Amos signing. ZaDarius Smith, I like it. Go Pack.
REDSKINS (LOL)
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If you are a believer in the third time is a charm, go ahead and book the Texans for their first ever appearance in the AFC Championship game! Saturday is the Texans’ third crack at the Kansas City Chiefs in the playoffs. Of course, the Texans had a third time is the charm opportunity at advancing beyond the division round back in 2016 and came nowhere close. Charm will have nothing to do with the outcome at Arrowhead Stadium.
The Chiefs have administered the Texans’ two most humiliating postseason defeats in franchise history. They came as the bookend postseason appearances of Bill O’Brien’s tenure as head coach. In 2015, the Texans won the worst division in the AFC (that sounds familiar) but as a division champ got to play host to the Wild Card 11-5 Chiefs. The visitors were three-point favorites. They won by 30. 30-0 to be more precise. Knile Davis returned the opening kickoff 106 yards for a touchdown. It would have been in the Texans’ best interest to have forfeited right then and there. In what was not exactly a shocking development, Texans’ quarterback Brian Hoyer wasn’t up to the task, throwing for just 112 yards and four interceptions. On the Chiefs’ side third-year tight end Travis Kelce had eight receptions for 128 yards. Taylor Swift was not in attendance.
The second Texans-Chiefs playoff get together is the most incredible game in Texans’ history. The Texans showed up in Missouri fresh off the greatest comeback win in their history, having come from down 16-0 in the third quarter to best the Buffalo Bills in overtime. In what could safely be characterized as stunning, the Texans put up three first quarter touchdowns for a 21-0 lead. *Massive bonus points if you can name the three Texans who scored those TDs, answer below. A field goal made it 24-0 Texans with 10:54 left in the second quarter. In a collapse tough to pull off, the Texans would trail before halftime. The Chiefs scored four touchdowns in nine minutes and eleven seconds of game time, with that Kelce fellow scoring the last three of them. Some will recall O’Brien calling a fake punt from his own 31-yard line with the Texans up 24-7. Too soon? Justin Reid (now pursuing his third Super Bowl ring in three seasons as a Chief) was stopped short. An even more damning O’Brien moment came later in that game when he actually had to use a timeout to change his mind and go for it with 11:49 left in the fourth quarter, the Texans down 48-31, and facing fourth and four at the K.C. 42. That was a fire-able on the spot offense! Instead it took an 0-4 start to the 2020 season for O’Brien to be ousted. 51-31 Chiefs was the final score, and they went on to win the first of their three Super Bowl titles in the ongoing Andy Reid/Patrick Mahomes era.
Back to the present
Those routs were then, this is now. For a 15-2 team the Chiefs seem vulnerable. Maximum credit to them for having won an NFL record 16 consecutive games decided by eight or fewer points, 11 of them this season including their 27-19 victory over the Texans December 21. Perhaps the two-time defending champions were often bored with the regular season and often did just enough to win. The Texans would have been tied with them late in the third quarter had Ka’imi Fairbairn not botched an extra point. On the other hand, it was the play that got them within 17-16 which resulted in Tank Dell’s catastrophic season-ending knee injury. Who besides Nico Collins will do something in the passing game Saturday? Last Saturday the Texans’ pass rush harassed and flustered Chargers’ quarterback Justin Herbert. Mahomes is a different breed. Four weeks ago the Texans sacked Mahomes just once and did not intercept him. That seemingly must change for the Texans to pull off what be a shocker for most people. Saturday’s high temperature forecast for Kansas City is 25 degrees. Not ideal for the Texans but better than if the game had been scheduled for Sunday when the high is supposed to be 16.
Still standing
Four Texans who dressed for the debacle five years ago will suit up against the Chiefs Saturday: Laremy Tunsil and Tytus Howard who were in their first season with the team, Fairbairn, and long snapper Jon Weeks. Granted he’s just a long snapper (important role but not physically taxing), but Weeks is in his 15th season with the Texans and has yet to miss a game-244 regular season games (with Saturday his 14th playoff game, also without a miss). Presuming he is back next season, Weeks (who turns 39 next month) can crack the top five list of most consecutive games played in NFL history by answering the bell in the first 12 regular season games.
*The Texans’ three early TDS in the 51-31 loss at KC: 1. Kenny Stills with a 54-yard reception 2. Lonnie Johnson with a 10-yard return of a blocked punt 3. Darren Fells with a four-yard grab
For Texans’ conversation, catch Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and me on our Texans On Tap podcasts. Thursdays feature a preview of the upcoming game, and then we go live (then available on demand) after the final gun of the game: Texans on Tap - YouTube
The Astros are always in season for discussion. Our Stone Cold ‘Stros podcasts drop Mondays: Click here to watch!