WHO'S IN, WHO'S OUT
2024 bucket list — French Open is in, and one Astro is out
Apr 23, 2024, 5:08 pm
The Jose Abreu signing was a mistake. Composite Getty Image.
This Wednesday, April 24, is my favorite made-up “holiday” of the year - National Bucket List Day - because it reminds me that I have things I’d love to do, places to go, people to meet, and dreams to dream.
This surprised me: Casino.org, a site that surveys the online gaming and entertainment industry, asked 3,000 people, specifically Texans, "What’s on your bucket list?" The No. 1 answer was, “Take a road trip,” followed by “Go to the beach.”
Go to the beach is a bucket-list fantasy? Wait, let me close this laptop.
Okay, I’m back. Check off “go to the beach.” If you live in Houston, the beach on Galveston is one hour away and it’s free.
Did these people understand what bucket list means? It’s things you’d like to do before you die.
Before you kick the bucket.
I’m lucky, because of my profession, I’ve gotten to actually do some of things that might otherwise be on my bucket list:
I’ve met three U.S. Presidents and a Beatle. Guess who tops that list? It’s Paul McCartney. I covered the Berlin Wall coming down for Gannett Radio and George H.W. Bush’s funeral for the Washington Post. I played tennis with John McEnroe and Chris Evert. I was Texas All-Star Wrestling’s cruiserweight champion (you can look it up on Wikipedia) and I once ate one of Joey Chestnut’s leftover hot dogs at the Coney Island contest.
So I’m constantly coming up with new bucket list hopes. Here’s my 2024 Top 10 Bucket List of dreams to dream:
10. Watch the French Open tennis final live in Paris while eating a crunchy baguette sandwich. Just one slice of ham, one slice of Swiss cheese on a buttered baguette. Moins on en fait, mieux c’est. Less is more.
9. Convince Larry David to do another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm so I don’t sink into dark despair Sunday nights.
8. Let the Texas Legislature have the balls to put sports gambling on the ballot, which would win overwhelmingly, so we can have nice things like Oklahoma and Louisiana do.
7. See something done with the Astrodome. Either fix it up or tear it down. I don’t give a flying’ Philadelphia flip either way. But letting it sit there rotting away is unacceptable.
6. Watch the Astros tell Jose Abreu it’s been real, but it’s time for you to pack up your $58.5 million and go home. Bring up Joey Loperfido and see what the rookie can do. As John Lennon said, “it can't get no worse” than Abreu.
5. Have a mad scientist invent a way for dogs to live as long as people. That’s the only problem with dogs, you literally love them to death. It’s the saddest thing ever to say goodbye to your dog.
4. Have West U name a dead-end street after me.
3. Watch English muffins assume their rightful place as the bun of choice in Burger World. English muffins taste a thousand times better and absorb more grease than lame boring burger buns. Ever eat a burger bun by itself? Disgusting. A toasted, buttered English muffin? Delicious.
(By the way, Nancy’s Hustle in Houston serves their burgers on an English muffin and Justin Verlander gives it his thumbs up.)
2. Force candidates to pick up campaign signs the day after an election or get fined $1,000 per sign. It like I’m still seeing Whitmire for Mayor signs. I’m talking Kathy Whitmire.
1. Lastly, just once, I’d like to drive from Houston to San Antonio, or Houston to Dallas, without seeing one orange barrel. When is done ever done? I know, ain’t gonna happen.
This article originally appeared on CultureMap.
Most Popular
SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome
Listen Live
NFL insiders hint at eye-opening future for Houston Texans offense
Dec 7, 2024, 2:38 pm
C.J. Stroud faced criticism in Houston's last few games as the Texans hit a rough patch after losing just two of their first eight games.
But the second-year quarterback remained confident and his strong performance last Sunday helped the Texans (8-5) to a 23-20 win over the Jaguars to enter their bye with a two-game lead atop the AFC South.
“When he is leading and playing the way he is playing, our entire team feeds off of him,” coach DeMeco Ryans said. “I am excited for his second year. I think he is showing a ton of growth, he is in a really great spot for us physically, mentally. I really love where he is and I am excited to see how he comes back after the break.”
Stroud threw for 242 yards and a touchdown against Jacksonville to leave him ranked fourth in the NFL with 3,117 yards passing this season. That game came after he threw two interceptions in a 32-27 loss to Tennessee a week before for the team’s third loss in four games.
Those two interceptions brought his season total to nine, which are four more than he threw in 15 games a rookie. But the Texans aren’t worried about that statistic and believe he has grown in his second year.
“He’s made a lot of progress,” general manager Nick Caserio said. “There are some plays, like all of our players, that we probably wish he could have back, but happy he’s our quarterback, happy with what he brings to the table. ... Wouldn’t want anyone else leading this team.”
The Texans are in position to win their division for a second straight season despite dealing with several significant injuries on offense. Running back Joe Mixon missed three games early with an ankle injury and leading receiver Nico Collins was sidelined for five games with a hamstring injury.
They also lost four-time Pro Bowler Stefon Diggs for the season when tore an ACL in Week 8.
Mixon leads the team with 887 yards rushing and 11 touchdowns and has added four touchdown receptions. His work in his first season in Houston after a trade from Cincinnati has helped the team deal with those significant injuries to the receiving corps.
Mixon ranks third in the NFL by averaging 88.7 yards rushing a game and has had at least 100 yards rushing in seven games.
Stroud has continually raved about Mixon’s contributions on and off the field.
“He’s a servant, a helper,” Stroud said. “That’s ultimately what I want to be as well. Who can I serve and how can I help? That’s ultimately what the game of football is.”
While Mixon has been the team’s most important new acquisition on offense, Danielle Hunter has been Houston’s new defensive star. The defensive end spent his first eight seasons in Minnesota before joining the Texans this year.
He has helped Houston lead the NFL with 84 tackles for loss after piling up 15 this season, which is tied for third most in the league. He also leads the Texans with 10½ sacks to help them rank second with 42.
Hunter been a great addition to a team that already had defensive end Will Anderson Jr., last year’s AP Defensive Rookie of the Year. Anderson ranks second to Hunter on the team with 13 tackles for loss and 9½ sacks.
Ryans said this week’s break is much needed for a team that opened the preseason on Aug. 1 in the Hall of Fame game.
“It’s here and we’re going to take advantage of it,” he said. “We’ve been going at it for a long time.”
The Texans need to recharge this week with a brutal stretch of three games in 10 days when they return from their bye. Houston hosts Miami on Dec. 15 before a trip to Kansas City on Dec. 21 and a visit from the Ravens on Christmas Day.
“It’s Christmas and all that, but we can’t worry about that. All we can do is focus on Miami,” Caserio said. “And then when we get through the Miami game, then we kind of turn the page to the next. ... We’re either going to earn it or we’re not. Not to oversimplify it, but that’s the truth.”
The Texans will play those game without starting linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair after he received a three-game suspension for his violent hit to the head of Jacksonville’s Trevor Lawrence, which led to a concussion.
Al-Shaair will be eligible to return for Houston’s regular-season finale against Tennessee.