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2024 bucket list — French Open is in, and one Astro is out

Astros Framber Valdez, Jose Abreu, Yordan Alvarez
The Jose Abreu signing was a mistake. Composite Getty Image.

This Wednesday, April 24, is my favorite made-up “holiday” of the year - National Bucket List Day - because it reminds me that I have things I’d love to do, places to go, people to meet, and dreams to dream.

This surprised me: Casino.org, a site that surveys the online gaming and entertainment industry, asked 3,000 people, specifically Texans, "What’s on your bucket list?" The No. 1 answer was, “Take a road trip,” followed by “Go to the beach.”

Go to the beach is a bucket-list fantasy? Wait, let me close this laptop.

Okay, I’m back. Check off “go to the beach.” If you live in Houston, the beach on Galveston is one hour away and it’s free.

Did these people understand what bucket list means? It’s things you’d like to do before you die.

Before you kick the bucket.

I’m lucky, because of my profession, I’ve gotten to actually do some of things that might otherwise be on my bucket list:

I’ve met three U.S. Presidents and a Beatle. Guess who tops that list? It’s Paul McCartney. I covered the Berlin Wall coming down for Gannett Radio and George H.W. Bush’s funeral for the Washington Post. I played tennis with John McEnroe and Chris Evert. I was Texas All-Star Wrestling’s cruiserweight champion (you can look it up on Wikipedia) and I once ate one of Joey Chestnut’s leftover hot dogs at the Coney Island contest.

So I’m constantly coming up with new bucket list hopes. Here’s my 2024 Top 10 Bucket List of dreams to dream:

10. Watch the French Open tennis final live in Paris while eating a crunchy baguette sandwich. Just one slice of ham, one slice of Swiss cheese on a buttered baguette. Moins on en fait, mieux c’est. Less is more.

9. Convince Larry David to do another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm so I don’t sink into dark despair Sunday nights.

8. Let the Texas Legislature have the balls to put sports gambling on the ballot, which would win overwhelmingly, so we can have nice things like Oklahoma and Louisiana do.

7. See something done with the Astrodome. Either fix it up or tear it down. I don’t give a flying’ Philadelphia flip either way. But letting it sit there rotting away is unacceptable.

6. Watch the Astros tell Jose Abreu it’s been real, but it’s time for you to pack up your $58.5 million and go home. Bring up Joey Loperfido and see what the rookie can do. As John Lennon said, “it can't get no worse” than Abreu.

5. Have a mad scientist invent a way for dogs to live as long as people. That’s the only problem with dogs, you literally love them to death. It’s the saddest thing ever to say goodbye to your dog.

4. Have West U name a dead-end street after me.

3. Watch English muffins assume their rightful place as the bun of choice in Burger World. English muffins taste a thousand times better and absorb more grease than lame boring burger buns. Ever eat a burger bun by itself? Disgusting. A toasted, buttered English muffin? Delicious.

(By the way, Nancy’s Hustle in Houston serves their burgers on an English muffin and Justin Verlander gives it his thumbs up.)

2. Force candidates to pick up campaign signs the day after an election or get fined $1,000 per sign. It like I’m still seeing Whitmire for Mayor signs. I’m talking Kathy Whitmire.

1. Lastly, just once, I’d like to drive from Houston to San Antonio, or Houston to Dallas, without seeing one orange barrel. When is done ever done? I know, ain’t gonna happen.


This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

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Christian Walker got on base twice in the opener. Composite Getty Image.

The Houston Astros return to action Wednesday night with a chance to get back on track and even their three-game set against the visiting Chicago White Sox.

White Sox continue to have Houston's number

After falling 4–2 in Tuesday’s opener, the Astros now trail the season series 3–1 and will turn to Ryan Gusto (3-3, 4.78 ERA) in hopes of steadying the ship and reinforcing their grip on first place in the AL West.

Houston enters the matchup at 36–30 overall and 22–13 at home, a mark that reflects just how comfortable they've been playing in front of their fans. Though the offense has been inconsistent at times, the Astros are an impressive 19–4 when they manage to keep the ball in the yard — a stat that will be key with Gusto on the mound. The young right-hander has had an up-and-down season, but he'll be tasked with limiting a White Sox offense that did just enough to sneak away with a win in the opener.

Chicago, meanwhile, continues to play with a bit of unexpected edge despite sitting in last place in the AL Central. At 23–44, the White Sox have struggled most of the season — particularly on the road, where they’re just 7–26. Still, they've now won four of their last five games and will hand the ball to Sean Burke (3-6, 4.03 ERA), a righty who’s shown flashes of command and competitiveness in his rookie campaign.

The Astros will once again lean on their veterans to lead the way at the plate. Jose Altuve continues to be a consistent presence at the top of the lineup with nine home runs and 24 RBIs on the year. Yainer Diaz, who’s 10-for-39 with three home runs over his last 10 games, has started to find his swing again and could be a factor in the middle of the order. Houston will need more of that timely hitting if they want to avoid dropping their second straight at home — something that hasn’t happened often this year.

On the other side, Chase Meidroth has quietly become one of Chicago’s more reliable bats. Hitting .293 with five doubles and a pair of homers, Meidroth’s emergence adds some much-needed spark to a lineup that’s lacked consistency. Andrew Benintendi, hitting .257 over his last 10 games with four doubles, has also begun to warm up at the plate.

Both teams come in with nearly identical offensive production over their last 10 games — the Astros hitting .227 to the White Sox’s .226 — but Houston holds the edge in ERA at 3.44 compared to Chicago’s 4.04. That said, the Astros have been outscored by five runs over that stretch, and will need to clean up a few things on both sides of the ball to avoid falling into a mini-slide during this six-game homestand.

First pitch is set for 8:10 p.m. ET from Daikin Park, with Houston looking to reassert itself against a team it hasn’t solved yet this season. A win would not only even the series — it would also be a reminder that the Astros remain very much in control of their own narrative heading into the summer grind.

BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Astros -181, White Sox +150; over/under is 8 1/2 runs.

Here's an early look at Houston's lineup for Game 2

Jacob Melton is hitting last and remains the left fielder with Altuve back at second base. Diaz is once again in the cleanup spot as Walker is hitting fifth. Victor Caratini will hit behind Walker and serve as the DH. Otherwise, a pretty typical lineup for Joe Espada's club.


*ChatGPT assisted.

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