WHO'S IN, WHO'S OUT
2024 bucket list — French Open is in, and one Astro is out
Apr 23, 2024, 5:08 pm
The Jose Abreu signing was a mistake. Composite Getty Image.
This Wednesday, April 24, is my favorite made-up “holiday” of the year - National Bucket List Day - because it reminds me that I have things I’d love to do, places to go, people to meet, and dreams to dream.
This surprised me: Casino.org, a site that surveys the online gaming and entertainment industry, asked 3,000 people, specifically Texans, "What’s on your bucket list?" The No. 1 answer was, “Take a road trip,” followed by “Go to the beach.”
Go to the beach is a bucket-list fantasy? Wait, let me close this laptop.
Okay, I’m back. Check off “go to the beach.” If you live in Houston, the beach on Galveston is one hour away and it’s free.
Did these people understand what bucket list means? It’s things you’d like to do before you die.
Before you kick the bucket.
I’m lucky, because of my profession, I’ve gotten to actually do some of things that might otherwise be on my bucket list:
I’ve met three U.S. Presidents and a Beatle. Guess who tops that list? It’s Paul McCartney. I covered the Berlin Wall coming down for Gannett Radio and George H.W. Bush’s funeral for the Washington Post. I played tennis with John McEnroe and Chris Evert. I was Texas All-Star Wrestling’s cruiserweight champion (you can look it up on Wikipedia) and I once ate one of Joey Chestnut’s leftover hot dogs at the Coney Island contest.
So I’m constantly coming up with new bucket list hopes. Here’s my 2024 Top 10 Bucket List of dreams to dream:
10. Watch the French Open tennis final live in Paris while eating a crunchy baguette sandwich. Just one slice of ham, one slice of Swiss cheese on a buttered baguette. Moins on en fait, mieux c’est. Less is more.
9. Convince Larry David to do another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm so I don’t sink into dark despair Sunday nights.
8. Let the Texas Legislature have the balls to put sports gambling on the ballot, which would win overwhelmingly, so we can have nice things like Oklahoma and Louisiana do.
7. See something done with the Astrodome. Either fix it up or tear it down. I don’t give a flying’ Philadelphia flip either way. But letting it sit there rotting away is unacceptable.
6. Watch the Astros tell Jose Abreu it’s been real, but it’s time for you to pack up your $58.5 million and go home. Bring up Joey Loperfido and see what the rookie can do. As John Lennon said, “it can't get no worse” than Abreu.
5. Have a mad scientist invent a way for dogs to live as long as people. That’s the only problem with dogs, you literally love them to death. It’s the saddest thing ever to say goodbye to your dog.
4. Have West U name a dead-end street after me.
3. Watch English muffins assume their rightful place as the bun of choice in Burger World. English muffins taste a thousand times better and absorb more grease than lame boring burger buns. Ever eat a burger bun by itself? Disgusting. A toasted, buttered English muffin? Delicious.
(By the way, Nancy’s Hustle in Houston serves their burgers on an English muffin and Justin Verlander gives it his thumbs up.)
2. Force candidates to pick up campaign signs the day after an election or get fined $1,000 per sign. It like I’m still seeing Whitmire for Mayor signs. I’m talking Kathy Whitmire.
1. Lastly, just once, I’d like to drive from Houston to San Antonio, or Houston to Dallas, without seeing one orange barrel. When is done ever done? I know, ain’t gonna happen.
This article originally appeared on CultureMap.
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The Astros closed out their latest road trip with a winning record, a feat made more impressive considering the turbulence at the back of the rotation. Brandon Walter and Ryan Gusto both endured rough outings, with Walter in particular getting tagged hard. Still, Houston salvaged the finale, thanks largely to Mauricio Dubón’s breakout performance. The utilityman launched two home runs to power an offense that’s quietly been heating up for weeks.
But even with a solid finish, not everything is trending upward.
Josh Hader, who’s been one of the game’s most reliable closers this season, has begun to show signs of vulnerability. He’s allowed a home run in three of his last six outings. While his overall numbers remain strong, the long ball—a problem that plagued him last year—is starting to creep back into the picture.
As the Astros return home, the schedule offers no breather. They’ll face the Phillies and Cubs before a brief trip to Colorado to take on the struggling Rockies. After that comes a marquee series against the defending champion Dodgers in Los Angeles. With three of their next four opponents being legitimate World Series threats, the coming stretch looms large.
Can the bats keep pace?
If the last month is any indication, the Astros have reason to feel optimistic. Christian Walker has started to show signs of life after a quiet start to the season, hitting .260 with a .762 OPS and five home runs over the past 30 days. José Altuve has been scorching with a .302 average and .901 OPS in that span, while Jeremy Peña has taken things to another level, batting .384 with a 1.009 OPS.
As a team, the Astros rank 7th in OPS, 5th in runs, 3rd in batting average, and 7th in home runs over the last 30 days. It’s a surge that’s come at the right time—and one they’ll need to sustain.
The injury picture is also starting to shift in Houston’s favor.
Cristian Javier threw a 20-pitch live BP today in West Palm Beach. According to Joe Espada, he was up to 95 mph.
Luis Garcia should throw a live BP next week.
Spencer Arrighetti is still not throwing off a mound yet.
Yordan Alvarez has not resumed hitting.
— Chandler Rome (@Chandler_Rome) June 20, 2025
Joe Espada told The Athletic's Chandler Rome that Christian Javier recently threw a live batting practice session, touching 95 mph as he continues his return from Tommy John surgery. JP France has thrown multiple live BPs and could be ready to help if things continue to progress with his shoulder. Luis Garcia, however, remains further away despite undergoing surgery more than two years ago. He's expected to throw a live BP this week.
Spencer Arrighetti (thumb) should be able to return in August, and Lance McCullers has resumed throwing and is currently on the 15-day IL with a foot sprain.
The Astros are winning. The offense is rolling. The reinforcements are on the way. But with a brutal stretch looming, the team’s margin for error is about to be put to the test.
There's so much more to cover! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
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