WATT A POWER MOVE!

5 relatable moments from J.J. Watt's big soccer announcement

Texans JJ Watt
The Watts are now investors in an English soccer team. Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for Sports Illustrated
J.J. Watt offers fans an opportunity to win $100,000 and a new Ford truck

Houston Texans and NFL all-time great J.J. Watt's Twitter bio reads, “Dream Big. Work Hard.” But it appears that our beloved No. 99 needs something to do since retiring.

Fortunately for the Texans legend — and apparently, for his soccer star wife Kealia Ohai Watt — the (seemingly bored) future Hall of Famer has a new project. And it's far more than building cabinetry or trying golf.

In a hilarious Twitter video, Watt declared that he has “officially retired from retirement” and is now backing a football team. Not American football. The kind — as he explains in the video, brilliantly using an extending pointer and map — where “they play football with their feet.”

The Watts are now investors in the English soccer team Burnley FC. The team, nicknamed The Clarets, most recently competed in the English Football League Championship — known as "the Championship" in England — but will soon play in the top-tier Premier League.

“When you invest in a club that’s been around since 1882, you must have great respect for its history and tradition,” the Watts noted in a statement. “We understand that not only are we investing in the squad and manager, we’re investing in the town and its people.” The couple even received No. 99 and No. 2 jerseys, respectively, from the squad.

That serious statement is all well and good, but we're still chuckling over the Watts' video announcement, which is 100-percent relatable for couples across the globe. Here are some of our favorite moments from their big announce.

Honey, I'm bored

In a move familiar to every married guy with a totally genius, just-hear-me-out idea, J.J. proudly pitches a road trip to a dubious Kealia. “If we rent an RV, we can hit the entire Taylor Swift tour,” he explains to her, unfolding a map, “just by driving.”

Kealia's “can you believe this dude?” long blink/look to the camera echoes exasperated wives everywhere.

Every husband has made a pitch like this to a dubious partner. JJ Watt/Twitter.

“Look, I've only been retired for about four months,” Watt, who's captioned with “Retired Guy” in the video, explains to viewers, “but I really need something to do.”

Then comes his “officially retired from retirement” declaration. Kealia's a one-word response is also relatable to wives everywhere: “Thankfully.”

Look out Lasso

Deftly explaining England's — and most of the world's — defining sport, our hero extends a presentation-worthy metal pointer, motions to a map of the isles (that magically rolls in from nowhere), and states, “You see, over in these islands here, they play football with their feet. Like her.”

Cut to a pro soccer league highlight reel of Kealia scoring like mad on poor goalies.

Thanks, J.J., we were a little shaky on the football-versus-football thing — until the Kealia sizzle reel. Ted Lasso's got nothing on you, sir.

Justin James ... or Ryan Reynolds?

Yet another soccer-loving celeb gets a name check in the video. In another scene totally relatable to married couples, J.J. declares, “We are going to invest in European Football.”

“So, you want to be Ryan Reynolds,” an off-screen interviewer asks, in a nod to the handsome superstar actor' EFL club, Wrexham.

“No...” J.J starts to reply, shaking his head — immediately interrupted by Kealia, who answers, “Yes, please.”

Cut to a headshot of handsome Reynolds, with J.J. giving a smiling, smitten Kealia a “heyyyy, wait a minute,” glance.

Continue on CultureMap to learn more!

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The Jets host the Texans and their scary defense on Halloween night! Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images.

Houston (6-2) at New York Jets (2-6)

Thursday, 8:15 p.m. EDT, Amazon Prime

BetMGM NFL odds: Jets by 2.

Against the spread: Texans 3-4-1; Jets 2-6.

Series record: Jets lead 7-3.

Last meeting: Jets beat Texans 30-6 in East Rutherford, New Jersey, on Dec. 10, 2023.

Last week: Texans beat Colts 23-20; Jets lost to Patriots 25-22.

Texans offense: overall (9t), rush (18), pass (8), scoring (14).

Texans defense: overall (2), rush (13), pass (3), scoring (15t).

Jets offense: overall (24), rush (30), pass (13), scoring (25).

Jets defense: overall (4), rush (17), pass (2), scoring (11t).

Turnover differential: Texans plus-4; Jets minus-3.

Texans player to watch

RB Joe Mixon. He has carried Houston's offense in the three games since he returned from an injury and could be even more important this week after wide receiver Stefon Diggs tore the ACL in his right knee last Sunday and is out for the season. Mixon ranks third in the NFL by averaging 100.6 yards rushing a game and has had at least 100 yards rushing and a TD run in three straight games.

Jets player to watch

Edge rusher Haason Reddick. After ending his lengthy contract holdout early last week, Reddick made his Jets debut and played 26 snaps on defense with two quarterback pressures while working mostly on third downs. His snaps might increase a bit Thursday and he could help the Jets get after C.J. Stroud, who has been sacked 22 times this season — tied for third most in the NFL.

Key matchup

Jets offensive line vs. Texans' pass rush. New York has had issues this season with injuries, consistency and protecting Aaron Rodgers. The Jets will face a tough test Thursday night against the Texans, whose 27 sacks are third in the NFL. DE Will Anderson Jr. is tied for third in the league with a career-high 7 1/2 sacks, including at least one in his past three games. DE Danielle Hunter has 5 1/2 sacks and DT Tim Settle has four, powering a formidable defensive front for Houston. Hunter leads the league with 51 quarterback pressures and Anderson is fourth with 39, the only teammates in the top 15, according to Next Gen Stats.

Key injuries

Diggs' injury leaves Houston without its top two receivers. Nico Collins, who leads the Texans with 567 yards receiving, is out for at least one more game after being placed on injured reserve with a hamstring injury. ... S Calen Bullock was limited in practice Monday and Tuesday after injuring his shoulder Sunday. … LBs Azeez Al-Shaair (knee) and Henry To’oTo’o (concussion) both missed the Colts game, but could return this week. … S Jimmie Ward could miss a fifth straight game with a groin injury. … LG Jarrett Patterson is in the concussion protocol and is likely out. … RB Dameon Pierce missed practice this week with a groin injury. ... Jets LB C.J. Mosley suffered a stinger in his neck during pregame warmups at New England and was meeting with neck and spine specialists this week. ... RG Alijah Vera-Tucker (ankle), WR Allen Lazard (chest), DL Leki Fotu (knee) and safeties Tony Adams (hamstring) and Ashtyn Davis (concussion) all missed the game vs. the Patriots and their availability for this week was uncertain. ... K Greg Zuerlein was placed on IR. Riley Patterson and Spencer Shrader were signed to the practice squad, and one will be promoted for the game.

Series notes

The Jets have won the past two meetings. ... New York won the first five meetings, including the first game between the franchises in 2003, when LaMont Jordan's late 8-yard touchdown run helped lift the Jets to a 19-14 victory. ... Zach Wilson threw two touchdown passes in the most recent meeting, a 30-6 rout by New York during which Stroud left with a concussion.

Stats and stuff

The AFC South-leading Texans have won four of their past five. ... Stroud is 2-0 with three touchdowns and zero interceptions in two career starts in prime time. He had 285 yards passing last week for his ninth career game with at least that many yards passing, which is tied for second most in the NFL since 2023. ... WR Tank Dell had a touchdown reception last week and has a TD catch in two of his past three games. ... TE Dalton Schultz had a season-high 52 yards receiving against the Colts. He has two TD receptions in each of his past two Thursday night games. ... Hunter has 10½ sacks in eight career Thursday night games. … LB Neville Hewitt, who spent the 2018-21 seasons with the Jets, forced a fumble last week. … Rookie CB Kamari Lassiter had a career-high three passes defended last week. … S Jalen Pitre had his first interception of the season last week. ... S Eric Murray had seven tackles and a season-high three passes defended last week. ... New York is trying to snap a five-game skid. ... Jeff Ulbrich is 0-3 as the Jets’ interim head coach since replacing the fired Robert Saleh on Oct. 8. Ulbrich, also the team's defensive coordinator, said earlier this week he'll continue to call plays on defense. … Rodgers snapped a streak of three consecutive games with an interception. He has seven in eight games, six shy of his single-season career high set in 2008 in his first year as Green Bay’s starting quarterback. ... Rodgers hasn't passed for 300 yards since throwing for 341 against Chicago on Dec. 12, 2021 — a span of 30 regular-season games and 31 overall, including one playoff game. ... WR Garrett Wilson leads the NFL with 84 targets, 11 more than the Giants’ Malik Nabers. Wilson’s 51 receptions are second in the league behind Las Vegas’ Brock Bowers, who has 52. ... WR Davante Adams had four catches for 54 yards, giving him seven receptions for 84 yards in two games since being acquired from the Raiders. ... Second-year WR Xavier Gipson caught his first career TD pass last Sunday. ... TE Tyler Conklin has a TD catch in consecutive games after not having one since catching two TD passes in Week 8 of the 2022 season against New England. ... RB Breece Hall has 316 yards receiving, the most among NFL running backs. ... Edge rusher Will McDonald has eight sacks, second in the NFL to the Giants’ Dexter Lawrence (nine). … The Jets have only six takeaways, ranking among the fewest in the league. Backup CB Brandin Echols has New York's only two interceptions.

Fantasy tip

Houston wide receiver John Metchie is coming off a career-best three-catch game and could see more targets — and perhaps his first NFL touchdown — with both Diggs and Collins out. Might be worth a stash as a potential WR3.

_______________________

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