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Texans linebacker sounds off after suspension for hit on Lawrence

Texans Azeez Al-Shaair
Azeez Al-Shaair is set to return from suspension this Sunday. Photo by Alex Slitz/Getty Images.

Houston Texans linebacker Azeez Al-Shaair said he was in a “really dark place” and wondered if he’d ever play football again in the days after he was suspended for three games for his hit on Jacksonville’s Trevor Lawrence that left the quarterback with a concussion.

Speaking to reporters Wednesday for the first time since the suspension, Al-Shaair discussed his state of mind during his absence.

“The things that you can think when somebody says they’re in a dark place, as dark as you can go is where I was truthfully,” he said.

Al-Shaair added that “it was hard for me to see myself playing football again” before he met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and league executives Troy Vincent and Jon Runyan.

Lawrence clenched both fists after the hit — movements consistent with what’s referred to as the “fencing response,” which can be common after a traumatic brain injury. He was on the ground for several minutes as teammates came to his defense and mobbed Al-Shaair in what escalated into a brawl.

As Al-Shaair was leaving the field after being ejected, fans started screaming at him. Jaguars veteran guard Brandon Scherff joined in, prompting another altercation with Al-Shaair. Texans teammate Will Anderson grabbed Al-Shaair and was escorting him off the field when a fan threw a water bottle and hit Anderson in the helmet.

Al-Shaair said that he understood the suspension, but disagreed with how he was characterized by Runyan in the letter informing him of the punishment. It included Runyan telling Al-Shaair: “Your lack of sportsmanship and respect for the game of football and all those who play, coach, and enjoy watching it, is troubling and does not reflect the core values of the NFL.”

He said he needed to talk to Runyan and other NFL executives to understand how they viewed him as a player before he could return to the field.

“I really had a moment of, there’s no way I can go out and play football again if this is how people that I work with view me,” Al-Shaair said.

He said Runyan told him that he was watching the play and the ensuing melee when he wrote the letter and that he was only referring to those moments and not his entire career in his comments about his sportsmanship.

“But the way he typed it, he said got obviously taken out of context,” Al-Shaair said. “I clearly made a mistake (and) the reason why he typed something which ended up being taken out of context as a mistake is because I did something that was obviously not right, me taking my helmet off and me starting another brawl ... wasn’t right.

“But everything prior to that I stand on the fact that I never tried to hurt him,” he continued.

Al-Shaair said he sat in a room not doing anything for about five days after his suspension.

“It’s like a blur,” he said. “I didn’t eat nothing. I didn’t go anywhere.”

By Friday of that week, some children at a foster care organization in Tennessee that he had met last year when he played for the Titans sent him messages of encouragement.

“I got so many different messages like that and I remember just sitting in my bed and I was like: ‘Man, like I can just keep sitting here sad and sulking and just feeling like I’m being misjudged or I can just do what I always do, which is just try to be positive and spread positivity, do the best that I can,’” he said.

He booked a plane ticket to Nashville and got there in time to attend the same event at the foster care organization that he’d attended the previous year.

“I had so many people saying so many negative things and to see people that were happy to see me and were happy about my presence I think that’s what kind of like snapped me back,” Al-Shaair said. “Like regardless of what’s being said, you know who you are and just lean into that and ... from there just crawling myself out of this place.”

When the AFC South champion Texans (9-7) face the Titans on Sunday, he'll return for the first time since the hit on Lawrence, and coach DeMeco Ryans is thrilled to have him back. The Texans have been hit hard by injuries and are limping into the playoffs after two straight losses.

“We’ve missed him over these past three weeks, just missed his presence, his leadership, missed his playmaking ability on the field,” Ryans said. “So, we’re excited to get him back out there and let him knock some of the rust off.”

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Texans defeat the Titans, 23-14. Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images.

C.J. Stroud completed all six of his passes for 50 yards and a touchdown Sunday on the Texans' opening drive before going to the bench as Houston snapped a two-game skid going into the AFC playoffs with a 23-14 victory over the Tennessee Titans.

The Texans (10-7) also avoided being swept by the team they replaced in Houston. The Texans won for the first time since clinching their second straight AFC South title Dec. 15 with a win over Miami.

Now Houston waits to see if the Texans are hosting either the Los Angeles Chargers, who played at the Raiders later Sunday, or Pittsburgh in an AFC wild-card game.

With the loss combined with New England's win over Buffalo, the Titans ' season of misery at least landed them the No. 1 pick overall in the NFL draft in April. Their 3-14 finish matches 2014 for the most losses in a season since relocating from Texas to Tennessee in 1997.

Texans coach DeMeco Ryans said he would decide how long his starters played based on how the game went.

Stroud needed 11 plays and 7:17 on a drive capped with a 2-yard TD pass to Pro Bowl wide receiver Nico Collins for a lead Houston never lost.

Joe Mixon had five carries on that opening drive, then his day was done. Mixon turned cheerleader running down the sideline with a ballcap as Dameon Pierce took his second carry 92 yards for his second rushing TD of the season early in the second quarter for a 13-0 lead.

Pierce finished with a career-high 176 yards rushing. Mixon had 23 yards and surpassed 1,000 for the season.

One of the biggest cheers from the thin crowd on a rainy, cold day came when former University of Tennessee quarterback Joe Milton's 48-yard TD pass putting the Patriots up 14-7 was shown on the video board.

Ka’imi Fairbairn finished the first half with a 27-yard field goal putting the Texans up 16-3.

Tennessee gave second-year quarterback Will Levis his 12th start this season. First-year coach Brian Callahan kept his promise to rotate, putting in veteran Mason Rudolph on the fourth possession. Rudolph guided the Titans to a pair of field goals by Matthew Wright.

Levis had the better day despite a botched handoff returned for a fumble. He finished with 175 yards passing and a 49-yard TD pass to Tay Martin with 2:41 left.

Big man TD

Defensive end Derek Barnett got the ball on a botched handoff by Levis to Tony Pollard early in the fourth and went 36 yards for the TD and a 23-6 lead. It was Barnett's second such return for a TD this season and third of his career.

Barnett not only played in college at Tennessee, he played high school ball at a Nashville suburb.

Injuries

Texans WR John Metchie was being evaluated in the concussion protocol after being hurt on an incompletion late in the third quarter that drew an unnecessary roughness penalty. LB Jake Hansen hurt an ankle

Titans TE Chig Okonkwo aggravated an abdominal injury that had him on the injury report in the first quarter.

Up next

Houston play either the Chargers or Steelers trying to win a second straight wild-card game.

Tennessee goes into the offseason losers of six straight and eight of nine under Callahan. Now controlling owner Amy Adams Strunk has to decide what changes might be needed for a franchise building a $2.2 billion enclosed stadium next door set to open in 2027.

*Don't miss the video below as the crew from Texans on Tap reacts live to the win on YouTube.

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