HOFFMAN'S HOUSTON

How the crossroads of Astros, Texans, and Rihanna reveals eye-opening realities of viewing trends

How the crossroads of Astros, Texans, and Rihanna reveals eye-opening realities of viewing trends
The fourth quarter continues to frustrate Texans fans. Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images.

Here's where we stand, our Houston Texans have played three games against arguably the three worst teams in the NFL (present company excluded) and have zero wins to show for it.

Sunday’s heartbreaking, but thoroughly deserved 23-20 loss to the grounded Bears was a tour de force of futility, a total team collapse for the Texans. Everybody did their share, the offense, defense, coaches, and the Texans left Soldier Field with a loss that shoulda, coulda been a victory. Losing close games is what bad teams do, why coaches get fired.

This was the second consecutive game on the road for the Texans where the home team was booed by their fans - and still beat the Texans.

Here’s an alarming stat: the Texans have been outscored 30-0 in the fourth quarter. More troubling for the rest of 2022: the Texans are a boring, lousy, losing product that will lead to a half-empty NRG Stadium like recent years.

On Sunday, like the week before, I turned to the Astros game on AT&T SportsNet SW during Texans TV breaks and it got progressively harder to return to the Texans game. I wound up watching the Astros live and Texans later on DVR.

Sunday’s Texans game would have been a comedy of errors if the team weren’t so tragically awful. Maybe CBS should run a laugh track during Texans broadcasts.

The Texans now find themselves alone in last place in the AFC South. They’re winless after playing three patsies. Now they get ready to host the Los Angeles Chargers, then head east for the first-place, you read that right, Jacksonville Jaguars and later the 0-3 Las Vegas Raiders. Before the season started, oddsmakers had the Texans as underdogs all 17 games this season. It still looks that way.

Fans and the media are losing faith in Davis Mills as the team’s quarterback of the future. Yes, Davis has been disappointing so far in 2022, with the 30th lowest quarterback rating in the NFL. Mills looks like a young quarterback who’s in over his head and shows little signs of being a firebrand leader. Mills went 20-32 for 245 yards, one touchdown and two interceptions on Sunday.

It’s true, teams have won the Super Bowl with lesser talented quarterbacks, like Brad Johnson for Tampa Bay in 2002 and Trent Dilfer for Baltimore in 2000. This just in, however, Houston will not be going to the 2023 Super Bowl.

While Mills continues to cast doubt on his future as QB1, Bears quarterback Justin Fields was stunningly horrible Sunday. At least Texans coaches involved Mills in the offense. The Bears know they have clunker in Fields, who went 8-17 for 106 yards, two interceptions and no touchdowns. Those are Air Force vs. Army numbers, unseen in the NFL in decades.

I asked a buddy, is Justin Fields the worst quarterback in the NFL? His answer: “You mean besides our guy?” I don’t know if he was joking or not. Note to Alabama quarterback Bryce Young - your scripts for next year’s H-E-B commercials are in the mail. Stay upright.

Sunday also saw the NFL announce that Rihanna would be the half-time headliner at this season’s Super Bowl. The reveal came with the factoid: Rihanna is the second biggest-selling female recording artist of all-time. OK, trivia buffs, who’s the No. 1 selling female artist?

(Answer: Madonna has sold 335 million records since 1982, while Rihanna has sold 250 million since her debut in 2005.)

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Yordan Alvarez is officially a problem for opposing teams. Composite Getty Image.

Thoughts on Rockies-Astros series
After a rough opening loss to the Rockies, where Hunter Brown got knocked around early, the Astros regrouped and took the final two games to secure the series win. Framber Valdez delivered a much-needed dominant outing, a welcome sight after several shaky starts in August. Jason Alexander did his job as well, pounding the zone and keeping Houston within striking distance until the bats broke through.

Christian Walker provided the big swing in the finale with a go-ahead home run late, continuing his red-hot stretch — five homers in his last seven games. On the pitching side, Brian King and Bryan Abreu both turned in strong work to help close the door for Houston.

Yordan’s impact on the lineup
If Walker keeps producing near his career norms and Yordan Alvarez stays healthy, the Astros’ offense has the potential to overwhelm. Yordan’s return was immediately felt against the Rockies, giving the lineup a depth and presence that manager Joe Espada can slot anywhere.

With Jeremy Peña, Carlos Correa, Jose Altuve, Yordan, Walker, Jesus Sánchez, and eventually Yainer Díaz forming the top seven, Houston suddenly looks as deep as any contender. Add Jake Meyers once he’s back, and the order stretches even further.

Sánchez, who snapped out of a brutal 0-for-27 slump, has quietly rebounded. Over his last 11 games, he’s batting .294 with a .529 slugging percentage and two home runs, giving Houston a second left-handed bat to pair with Yordan. Combine that with Correa — who leads the team in batting average since rejoining at the trade deadline — and it’s an offense poised for a major finishing kick.

Lance McCullers moves to the bullpen
McCullers has walked as many or more hitters than innings pitched in four of his last five outings, and command remains his biggest issue. A move to the bullpen doesn’t necessarily solve that problem — in fact, it could make it worse. Walks in relief situations are costly, and McCullers hasn’t shown the consistency to trust in high-leverage spots. A piggyback role, where he follows another starter, feels like a more realistic path for him at this point.

Rotation outlook with Luis Garcia
Luis Garcia could return as soon as Monday if elevated from Sugar Land, but Houston may not need to force a sixth starter into the mix.

If Spencer Arrighetti can build on his last outing and Cristian Javier starts trending upward, the rotation has enough stability to carry Houston through September. Garcia’s return would be a bonus — not a necessity — for a staff that looks like it may finally be rounding into form.

There's so much more to get to! Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!

The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode on Thursday!

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