MEET THE ASTROS ROOKIES

Ken Hoffman reveals 19 outrageous new ballpark foods on the menu for Astros opening day

Ken Hoffman reveals 19 outrageous new ballpark foods on the menu for Astros opening day
The massive Barbacoa Burger looks to be a hit. Photo by Ken Hoffman

Originally appeared on CultureMap

 

Nineteen rookies have made the Houston Astros' roster for their home opener on April 2 at Minute Maid Park.

Wait, you thought I meant 19 new players? Nah, that roster was pretty much set with almost every regular back from the 2017 World Series champs.

I'm talking about the menu at concessions stands. Where to start? How about a Three Little Pigs sandwich? This little piggy has slow-smoked pulled pork, spicy Italian sausage, black pepper bacon, cabbage slaw, and golden grain mustard BBQ sauce on a butter-toasted pretzel bun. Confirmed, that's just one sandwich, served at the Brew House Tiers in centerfield. 

Think about a Cinnamon Bun Sundae, with a warm giant cinnamon roll lost under vanilla bean ice cream, whiskey caramel sauce, Bailey’s chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and berries. Most cities have obscenity laws that prohibit this sort of thing. Available at the Brew House Tiers in centerfield.

"Being World Series champions has made it exciting for us," says Mat Drain, the Ayatollah of Aioli for Aramark, which runs the food show at Minute Maid Park. 

"We know we'll see an attendance increase so it energizes our culinary team to get more creative and make sure that we add more variety. Our goal is to improve the fans' experience every year."

The Astros held their annual hot dog and pony show to introduce new menu items to a curious and hungry crowd of media superstars. Watching the media eat makes the food fight scene from Animal House look like a Martha Stewart tea party.

I once got between Chronicle sports writer David Barron and a free cheeseburger. I spent three weeks in the hospital.

The Astros are really pushing the envelope on fan food this season (Cheddar Biscuits with Burnt Ends, seriously?), but the show-stopper is a Loaded BBQ Funnel Cake. It's got pulled pork, chopped beef, smoked sausage, citrus kale black bean slaw, and BBQ sauce on top of a deep-fried funnel cake. It’s available at the Brew House Tiers in centerfield.

Dominic Soucie, Aramark's resident evil genius, gave rise to this trifle.

"I was watching a show called Carnival Eats on the Food Network. Those chefs at state fairs and carnivals are very creative and I thought, 'Why not bring a taste of the carnival to the baseball stadium?' That's how I came up with the Loaded BBQ Funnel Cake. It has all four of the major 'S' food groups: sweet, savory, smoke, and spice."

The slogan for Astros players this year is "Never Settle." Here's a slogan for Astros fans: "Skip Lunch, Come Hungry."

Here’s the rest of the Astros' new menu items for 2018.

Jane Dough Cookie Dough 
Gourmet, edible, small-batch cookie dough. Sections 113, 129, 156 and 427. Also available at the Cookies & Creamery stand behind Section 219 and The Park stand behind 231.

Haute Dog
Foot-long hot dog served on a New England style roll with chopped brisket, bacon, BBQ sauce, and pickles. Served at the Budweiser Brew House in centerfield and the Texas Legends Grill behind Section 231.

Astros Slider Trio
Texas Pulled Pork Cheesesteak, with grilled onions and peppers, topped with queso blanco on a jalapeno cheddar hoagie. Texas Brisket Cheesesteak, with chopped brisket, etc. Hot Dog Sliders, on New England-style rolls. Available behind Section 114.

BBQ Burger
Grill beef patty with onion rings, bacon, jalapeno slaw and BBQ sauce on a Challah bun. Texans Legends Grill behind Section 231.

713 Burger
Nolan Ryan Beef patty on a jalapeno potato roll. Texans Legend Grill behind Section 231.

Taco Trio
Smoked pulled pork with pineapples and salsa verde on flour tortillas. The Taco Trio location behind Section 125.

Loaded Burrito
Choice of beef or chicken fajitas with cilantro lime rice, refried beans, cotija cheese, pico and sour cream crammed into a flour tortilla. HTX MEX behind Section 215.

Loaded Burrito Bowl
Same as the Loaded Burrito above, served in a bowl. HTX MEX behind Section 215.

Loaded Taco Fries
Fresh-cut fries smothered in picadillo, shredded lettuce, queso, olives, avocado, sour cream, and tortilla strips. The Brew House in centerfield.

.45 Express
Nolan Ryan Beef franks slathered with hot Cheetos, green chili queso, tortilla strips, cheese, pico de gallo, pickled jalapenos, sour cream, and cilantro, served on a crisp, corn tortilla inside a flour tortilla. Torchy’s Tacos in centerfield.

Barbacoa Burger
Braised beef, queso, pico de gallo, lettuce, avocado, and sunny side up egg served on a butter-toasted onion roll. Brew House Tiers in centerfield.

Osso Italian Nachos
Crispy pasta chips covered with ground Italian sausage, chopped tomato and formaggio blanco. Osso & Kristalla behind Section 226.

DAT Creole Meat Pie
Louisiana-spiced Akaushi beef with rougaroux sauce in flaky pastry. Osso & Kristalla behind Section 226.

Smoked Sausage and Queso Kolache
Jackson Street BBQ behind Section 124.

Cheddar Biscuit with Burnt Ends
Jackson Street BBQ behind Section 124.

You didn't think I forgot, did you?

The Astros better win on April 2, otherwise they won't be able to sell beer the rest of the year. How come?

Answer: they will have lost the opener.

Hysterical.

---

Most Popular

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome

Listen Live

ESPN Houston 97.5 FM
Joe Esapda is hoping Framber Valdez can secure a series win for Houston. Composite Getty Image.

The Houston Astros (37-30) aim to close out their series against the Chicago White Sox (23-45) on a high note Thursday night at Daikin Park. The three-game set is currently tied 1-1, and with a chance to secure their 11th series win at home, the Astros will send left-hander Framber Valdez to the mound. First pitch is scheduled for 8:10 p.m. ET.

Valdez (6-4, 3.07 ERA) has quietly been one of the most consistent arms in the American League. Known for his heavy sinker and ground-ball inducing style, he enters the night with a stellar 1.06 WHIP and 84 strikeouts. With the Astros bullpen having absorbed some heavy usage earlier this week, Valdez will be counted on to give Houston quality length.

Opposing him will be right-hander Davis Martin (2-6, 3.62 ERA), who has pitched better than his win-loss record suggests. Martin has maintained a 1.21 WHIP and will try to quiet an Astros lineup that broke out for 10 runs in Wednesday’s win.

Houston’s offense has been led lately by Jeremy Peña, who is batting .439 over his last 10 games with five doubles, two homers, and six RBIs. Isaac Paredes continues to be a steady power threat, leading the team with 14 home runs and a .468 slugging percentage. José Altuve, fresh off his 2,300th career hit, adds veteran stability to the top of the order.

The Astros are 23-13 at home this season and have gone 6-4 over their last 10 games. When they avoid giving up home runs, they win — as shown by their 20-4 record in games where they keep the ball in the yard. That will be a key Thursday against a White Sox team that’s light on power but capable of grinding out runs when they out-hit opponents (16-9 when doing so).

Chicago, meanwhile, has struggled mightily on the road, going just 7-27 away from Guaranteed Rate Field. Still, they’ve had unexpected success against the Astros this season, winning three of the first five matchups. Andrew Benintendi and Mike Tauchman have been among the few bright spots in a lineup that’s hit just .227 over its last 10 games and been outscored by six runs.

With the series on the line and the division-leading Astros looking to stay hot, Thursday night offers a chance to assert their edge with a trusted ace on the hill and momentum building in the lineup.

Here's a preview of the Astros lineup for the finale!

Christian Walker remains in the five spot after his big night in Game 2. Victor Caratini will be the DH hitting seventh behind Jake Meyers. Jose Altuve is shifting back to left field, with Jacob Melton getting the night off. And Brendan Rodgers will hit last and play second base.


___________________________

*ChatGPT assisted.

Looking to get the word out about your business, products, or services? Consider advertising on SportsMap! It's a great way to get in front of Houston sports fans. Click the link below for more information!

https://houston.sportsmap.com/advertise

SportsMap Emails
Are Awesome