JUDGING KEN

Ken Hoffman steps down as judge at Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest

This article originally appeared on CultureMap.

This Thursday, July 4, for the first time in more than a decade, I won't spend Independence Day counting hot dogs in Coney Island. Yes, that was the back of my head you saw on ESPN, watching eagle-eyed as the greatest gastro-competitors in the world inhaled hot dog after hot dog after hot dog — literally ad nauseam.

All for the honor of hoisting the prestigious Mustard Yellow Belt, signifying dominance in the sport of speed eating. And yes, competitive eating is a sport. If you don't think so, tell that to the 40,000 fans who gather at the corner of Surf and Stillwell in Coney Island and one million viewers on ESPN each year.

My tenure as judge at the Super Bowl of Competitive Eating started in 2007. I watched the July 4 contest on TV and on a lark emailed George Shea, president of Major League Eating. He's also the hilarious, over-the-top emcee at the hot dog contest. I asked, can I be a judge next year?

Ken Hoffman, hot dog judge

He said yes, and in 2008, I arrived at 10 am in Coney Island to check in at the judges tent. I was given a black and white referee's shirt and Nathan's baseball cap, with my assignment on a piece of tape under the cap's brim. For several years, I was assigned lowly ranked eaters at the far end of the table, eaters who had no chance of challenging the legendary Joey "Jaws" Chestnut and his strongest challengers like Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, Tim "Eater X" Janus, and Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti.

It was Japanese champion Kobayashi who brought the "Solomon Method" of speed-eating hot dogs to America in 2002. He broke the hot dog in two, put both pieces in his mouth at the same time, and plunged the whole thing down his throat with a sopping wet bun. Disgusting yet pure genius!

Over the course of 11 years, I've had quite a few wild experiences at the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

In 2009, after being banned from the contest in a contractual dispute with the governing body, Major League Eating, Kobayashi showed up at the contest to challenge Chestnut … Clubber Lang-style. It was a pre-arranged publicity stunt, but somebody forgot to tell the New York Police. They arrested Kobayashi, and while "Koby" swung his legs trying to escape a cop's clutches, he clobbered my son, who was attending his first Coney Island contest. Lucky kid. He couldn't wait to tell his friends. "Did you see me on TV?"

As I proved my mettle as a judge, I was assigned better eaters who were positioned near the center of the long table. That's where Chestnut and the other betting favorites stood, easier for ESPN to capture the action.

My big break came in 2015, when I was assigned to count hot dogs for rookie eating sensation Matt "Megatoad" Stonie. In what is now considered the greatest upset in sports history, Stonie captured the title with 62 hot dogs, besting Chestnut by two franks. Naturally the world of competitive eating was stunned. Chestnut was the eight-time defending champion and deemed unbeatable.

As veteran eater Crazy Legs Conti once told me, "Maybe you can beat Joey in a chicken wing contest in June, but nobody beats Joey eating hot dogs on July 4." Conti is best known for being buried alive under 70 cubic feet of popcorn and eating his way to survival. When not competing in eating contests, Conti is a window washer, bouncer, screenwriter, and nude model.

After I turned in the paperwork that certified Stonie as the new champ, I was approached by a field producer for CNN. Would I do an interview in front of the stage? I said no, I'm a little covered with wet hot dog chunks and soggy bun bits (competitive eaters are such Messy Marvins), can we do this a little later?

Hoffman on CNN

At 4 pm, I was on the fifth floor of Time Warner Center, in the makeup room for my appearance on CNN International. The makeup woman said she had recently dabbed powder on former President Bill Clinton and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's noses. And now me.

I was placed in a tiny studio, just a chair for me, and a camera with a small monitor under the lens. I could see anchor Jonathan Mann doing the news from London. Then it was my turn. He asked me, "How does somebody eat 62 hot dogs in only 10 minutes?" When I answered, in gross detail, I could see a look on his face that said, "Sorry I asked." My 90 seconds of processed meat fame aired around the world that night and all the next day.

After Stonie's victory, I was on my way. The next three years, I counted the hot dogs for Chestnut, winner, winner, winner, and Miki Sudo, winner, winner, winner. Nobody in the history of competitive eating judging will ever top my 7-peat, plus I did it on the grandest stage of them all, July 4 in Coney Island. I also counted gyros and matzoh balls for Chestnut in eating contests in Houston. I should be in the Major League Eating Hall of Fame! Is there one?

Continue on CultureMap to read about the "Great Hot Dog Scandal of 2018."


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McCullers Jr. out-pitched friend and former teammate Dallas Keuchel on Father's Day. Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

With three impressive wins to start this series against the once AL-leading Chicago White Sox, Houston tried to extend their winning streak to seven games and finish a four-game sweep on Father's Day. Thanks to a big inning against former-Astro Dallas Keuchel, they would win to keep their hot streak going.

Final Score: Astros 8, White Sox 2

Astros' Record: 43-28, first in the AL West

Winning Pitcher: Lance McCullers Jr. (4-1)

Losing Pitcher: Dallas Keuchel (6-2)

Rough return to Houston for Keuchel

In his first game against his old squad, Dallas Keuchel would not have a memorable start on the mound for Chicago. Houston made him labor in the first inning, loading the bases though they only came away with one run on an RBI single by Abraham Toro, grabbing the early 1-0 lead. After going down 1-2-3 in the second, they got after Keuchel again in the third.

They ended up batting around against him that inning, including a two-RBI single by Yordan Alvarez, RBI double by Taylor Jones, and bases-loaded RBI-walk by Jose Altuve, which would end Keuchel's day very early and leave the bases juiced. Chicago's bullpen would walk another batter to give Keuchel another earned run, making it a 6-2 game, with all six going against the former Houston ace. Carlos Correa extended the lead to five runs in the next inning, hitting a leadoff solo home run to make it 7-2.

McCullers Jr. gives up two over six

That gave Lance McCullers Jr. a nice lead to work with, and he managed it well. He had one big mistake in the early goings of the game, giving up a one-out single in the second to set up a two-run home run, which at the time put Chicago in front 2-1 before Houston's offense came alive. He followed that up with four scoreless innings, erasing a walk in each with some tremendous defense behind him—his final line: 6.0 IP, 2 H, 2 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, 1 HR, 94 P.

Astros complete the sweep to jump on top of the standings

Still a six-run game in the top of the seventh, Blake Taylor entered as the first reliever out of Houston's bullpen, tossing a 1-2-3 frame. He continued in the top of the eighth, getting two strikeouts in another scoreless inning. The 8-2 score would go final as Ralph Garza Jr. would enter as the third pitcher of the day to wrap things up with a scoreless top of the ninth to finish the four-game sweep. The win, their seventh straight, paired with an Oakland loss earlier in the afternoon, moves Houston into the top spot in the AL West based on winning percentage.

Up Next: This long stretch of consecutive games continues on Monday in Baltimore, as the Astros pick up a seven-game road trip starting with a three-game set against Baltimore getting underway at 6:05 PM Central. Jake Odorizzi (1-3, 5.68 ERA) will get the start for Houston, going opposite of Keegan Akin (0-2, 5.76 ERA) for the Orioles.

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