NOBODY WANTS TO BE LIKE LANCE

Lance Armstrong's sad legacy hits new low

Lance Armstrong's sad legacy hits new low
Photo via: WikiCommons

Like so many others time and again, I gave Lance Armstrong a second chance. I watched Part 2 of ESPN's documentary on Armstrong, certainly one of the greatest athletes ever produced in Texas – maybe the greatest. I know, that's sounds weird, the greatest, but it's true. Or was true, until the 7-time winner of the Tour de France bicycle race was caught using illegal, performance-enhancing drugs and his accomplishments were wiped from the cycling record books.

Part 2 of Lance proved Armstrong even more despicable than Part I. Every time he opened his mouth, he was a bigger ass than 10 minutes ago, than a week ago.

I was looking forward to the Lance Armstrong documentary on ESPN. After all, The Last Dance, the series about Michael Jordan's final championship season, was amazingly captivating and reaped record ratings for ESPN. The premiere episode drew 6.1 million viewers.

One week after The Last Dance concluded, the premiere of Lance, about the life and time trials of the serial Tour de France champion, stunk up the Nielsens, blew a flat tire, with fewer than one million viewers.

Why the difference? The Last Dance revealed that Michael Jordan is a bit of nut case obsessed with winning, but never cheating. The Lance Armstrong documentary merely confirmed that Armstrong is a narcissistic jerk equally obsessed with winning, but always cheating. At one point in the show, Armstrong was asked if he wished to be relevant again. His answer: "I am relevant."

No, you're not. Next stop: Dancing with the Stars.

Another reason The Last Dance was a bigger hit than the Lance Armstrong documentary - in America, the NBA is a thousand times more popular than professional cycling. Love him, or, let's say not love him, James Harden is a superstar in Houston. LeBron, Steph, Giannis, Luka, Kemba, Kawhi and others are household first names in the U.S.

Nobody, in any sport, was more famous than "Michael" or "MJ" for even shorter. He was the brightest sports star, worldwide, of the past half-century. Yes, The Last Dance exposed his personality flaws and personal failings. He wasn't the most-liked teammate. Some suffered his acid sarcasm, one his fist. That only made the documentary more compelling. He won fair and square through talent and insane commitment to greatness. Most of the public, especially young people, really did want to "be like Mike." And when the dust cleared from his playing days, Michael Jordan came out the other side a billionaire, or close to it.

Another thing, Jordan never left the public stage. He is still one of the most successful brands in sports, and his logo is the all-time biggest sneaker-seller. There have been 26 different models of Nike Air Jordans. Last month, a pair of Jordan's game-worn sneakers from his 1984-85 rookie season sold for $560,000 at a Sotheby's auction. That's an all-time record for sneakers, but only slightly less than a pair of Air Jordans at Foot Locker today.

Lance Armstrong once graced a Wheaties box. He once was Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating Person of the Year." Now, with the exception of himself, nobody wants to be like Lance. While cycling may be a popular spectator sport in Europe, here it's a non-starter, relegated to cable channels you have to pay extra for. The most interesting thing about professional cycling is listening to our local sports anchors pronounce "Tour de France" like Pepe Le Pew.

Come on, name the winner of the last year's Tour de France. I'll make it easier, name one person who competed in the Tour de France last year. Or the past 10 years.

I watched both parts of the Lance Armstrong documentary on ESPN. His claim of still being relevant … really? If Lance Armstrong were standing behind you at Target, would you recognize him? The documentary showed Armstrong crossing the finish line at the Tour de France over and over. Lance Armstrong today, at 48, doesn't look like that guy. It's been 15 years since his last yellow jersey, and except for a confessional with Oprah or a news story about settling a lawsuit, he's been out of the public eye, vacant from the sports pages. He's graying on the sides, heavier and his hair is longer and slicked back. He's still is good shape, better than anybody I know, but no longer that steroid-powered, pedal-pumping, steel cable of muscle from his racing days.

Taking nothing away from conquering cancer, Lance Armstrong simply is not a compelling figure. He's bitter that former rivals, who also were caught doping, are more celebrated in their countries than he is in America. After being discredited, he lost his endorsements and much of his fortune. He was fired from his own Livestrong charity. His legacy isn't cherished. He doesn't get a hometown discount in Texas.

In the documentary, Armstrong complained that every mention of his name usually is preceded by "disgraced." That just proves how disliked and unloved he is. Pete Rose cheated baseball, most of America thinks he should be in the Hall of Fame. Ric Flair, the "Dirtiest Player in the Game," is in the WWE Hall of Fame. Alex Rodriguez was suspended from baseball for the exact same reason that Armstrong was banned from cycling. Today A-Rod practically is the face of baseball.

Lance Armstrong was the best ever, now he's a never was, I'd say "you can look it up," but you can't. His triumphs have been erased from the cycling record books. He's just a famous liar, former cheater, and current awful person. Years ago, Trek told Armstrong he couldn't sell its bicycles. In 2020, nobody was buying his documentary.

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Christian Walker got on base twice in the opener. Composite Getty Image.

The Houston Astros return to action Wednesday night with a chance to get back on track and even their three-game set against the visiting Chicago White Sox.

White Sox continue to have Houston's number

After falling 4–2 in Tuesday’s opener, the Astros now trail the season series 3–1 and will turn to Ryan Gusto (3-3, 4.78 ERA) in hopes of steadying the ship and reinforcing their grip on first place in the AL West.

Houston enters the matchup at 36–30 overall and 22–13 at home, a mark that reflects just how comfortable they've been playing in front of their fans. Though the offense has been inconsistent at times, the Astros are an impressive 19–4 when they manage to keep the ball in the yard — a stat that will be key with Gusto on the mound. The young right-hander has had an up-and-down season, but he'll be tasked with limiting a White Sox offense that did just enough to sneak away with a win in the opener.

Chicago, meanwhile, continues to play with a bit of unexpected edge despite sitting in last place in the AL Central. At 23–44, the White Sox have struggled most of the season — particularly on the road, where they’re just 7–26. Still, they've now won four of their last five games and will hand the ball to Sean Burke (3-6, 4.03 ERA), a righty who’s shown flashes of command and competitiveness in his rookie campaign.

The Astros will once again lean on their veterans to lead the way at the plate. Jose Altuve continues to be a consistent presence at the top of the lineup with nine home runs and 24 RBIs on the year. Yainer Diaz, who’s 10-for-39 with three home runs over his last 10 games, has started to find his swing again and could be a factor in the middle of the order. Houston will need more of that timely hitting if they want to avoid dropping their second straight at home — something that hasn’t happened often this year.

On the other side, Chase Meidroth has quietly become one of Chicago’s more reliable bats. Hitting .293 with five doubles and a pair of homers, Meidroth’s emergence adds some much-needed spark to a lineup that’s lacked consistency. Andrew Benintendi, hitting .257 over his last 10 games with four doubles, has also begun to warm up at the plate.

Both teams come in with nearly identical offensive production over their last 10 games — the Astros hitting .227 to the White Sox’s .226 — but Houston holds the edge in ERA at 3.44 compared to Chicago’s 4.04. That said, the Astros have been outscored by five runs over that stretch, and will need to clean up a few things on both sides of the ball to avoid falling into a mini-slide during this six-game homestand.

First pitch is set for 8:10 p.m. ET from Daikin Park, with Houston looking to reassert itself against a team it hasn’t solved yet this season. A win would not only even the series — it would also be a reminder that the Astros remain very much in control of their own narrative heading into the summer grind.

BETMGM SPORTSBOOK LINE: Astros -181, White Sox +150; over/under is 8 1/2 runs.

Here's an early look at Houston's lineup for Game 2

Jacob Melton is hitting last and remains the left fielder with Altuve back at second base. Diaz is once again in the cleanup spot as Walker is hitting fifth. Victor Caratini will hit behind Walker and serve as the DH. Otherwise, a pretty typical lineup for Joe Espada's club.


*ChatGPT assisted.

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