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Tom Brady can take any job in America he wants.
Sure, many NFL teams would love to have him for the next season or two, but I guarantee you almost any organization – big business, Wall Street, law firms, Hollywood, ad agencies, even Spirit Airlines – would hire him in a Foxboro heartbeat.
What, if you're BBDO trying to convince Coca-Cola to let you run its next TV campaign, you don't think Tom Brady in the room can't help you seal the deal?
Who wouldn't want TB12 – the all-time QB1 – on their roster?
I know Brady never EVER gets hit in the pocket, but he could make a better, safer living without having to put on pads, cleats and eye black every Sunday. Heck, he's Tom Brady – he shouldn't even be working Sunday.
A bail bonds or check-cashing store would have lines around the block if Brady were working the night shift.
He could make Ben from Ben & Jerry's an offer he couldn't refuse and recast the ice cream powerhouse as Tom & Jerry's. He could turn IHOP into the International House of Brady. He could revive "The Brady Bunch" on ABC, getting Gronk acting work as the crazy neighbor next door.
For Brady, the implausible is plausible. Is there any other 42-year-old in the nation as healthy, handsome and happy? This man's version of a personal setback is having a baby with a model and leaving her for another model.
Yet despite a world of possibilities, Brady almost certainly will remain in the NFL in 2020.
Speculation has been rampant whether first-time free agent Brady will stay in New England or leave the Patriots. Almost daily, there are stories in which sources say which way Brady is leaning. I am not sure who these "sources" are – Brady only talks to Julian Edelman, his nutritionist and the fellow who handles the air pressure in his footballs.
Does Couch Slouch know what Brady will do? Of course not. However, through contacts of mine with the Patriots' video surveillance team, T-Mobile, ADT and Russian hackers, I have obtained access to a series of recent texts between Brady and his wife, Gisele Bündchen, discussing his NFL options.
(Note: The texts have been edited for space and clarity.)
Gisele: San Francisco?
Tom: It's actually Santa Clara.
Gisele: Minnesota?
Tom: Mosquitos in the summer.
Gisele: Las Vegas?
Tom: Gruden in my face 24-7? I don't think so.
Gisele: Houston or Dallas?
Tom: I don't want to leave the U.S.
Gisele: Los Angeles?
Tom: Remember when we had a home in L.A.? Took 20 minutes just to pull out of the driveway.
Gisele: Jets or Giants?
Tom: I don't care if they name a rest stop after me, I'm not going anywhere near the New Jersey Turnpike.
Gisele: D.C.?
Tom: Let's wait and see if Trump is still in office.
Gisele: Jacksonville?
Tom: That's not even Florida – it's really Georgia.
Gisele: Chicago?
Tom: They already have Mitch Trubisky.
Gisele: Cincinnati?
Tom: I don't mind a team that is rebuilding but I don't want one that is reincarnating.
Gisele: Indianapolis?
Tom: Look at me. Look at you. Look at Indianapolis.
Gisele: New England?
Tom: Belichick.
Gisele: I'll call the movers.
Ask The Slouch
Q.The Seattle Dragons-Houston Roughnecks XFL game – still in doubt – ended with two seconds left, inexplicably. Is there an explanation? (Bill Sharpe; Houston)
A. If the game had gone to overtime, everyone gets paid overtime; wherever possible, the XFL is still cutting corners.
Q.I happened onto a PBA telecast recently and, as I watched, mesmerized, the thought came to me: How can we use instant replay to screw up bowling? (Jim Clanton; Spokane Valley, Wash.)
A. You cannot screw it up – just as bananas are nature's perfect food, bowling is nature's perfect sport.
Q. The Bayern Munich and Hoffenheim soccer clubs refused to play the final 10 minutes of their match due to vulgar signs in the stands. What would it take to get you to stop writing? (Jim O'Brien; Racine, Wis.)
A. It appears you have taken a huge first step.
Q. I read that Al Michaels might get traded from "Sunday Night Football" to "Monday Night Football." Any chance you could be traded from newspaper columnist to paperboy? (James Wagner; Akron, Ohio)
A. I wouldn't pass the physical for paperboy.
Q.Spike Lee vs. James Dolan – who you rooting for? (Michael Phillips; Charleston, W.Va.)
A. I didn't take sides during the Crimean War (1853-56) and I won't take sides here.
Q. Do you think the Astros have developed a way to tip their batter off that he's about to be hit by a pitch? (Kim Hemphill; South Riding, Va.)
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!
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Nick Chubb didn’t expect to be a Houston Texan. At least, not until he got the call on a quiet Saturday at home and was on a flight the next day. It happened fast — too fast, even, for the four-time Pro Bowler to fully process what it all meant. But now that he’s here, it’s clear this wasn’t a random landing spot. This was a calculated leap, one Chubb had been quietly considering from afar.
The reasons he chose Houston speak volumes not only about where Chubb is in his own career, but where the Texans are as a franchise.
For one, Chubb saw what the rest of the league saw the last two seasons: a young team turning the corner. He admired the Texans from a distance — the culture shift under head coach DeMeco Ryans, the explosive rise of C.J. Stroud, and the physical tone set by players like Joe Mixon. That identity clicked with Chubb. He’d been a fan of Ryans for years, and once he got in the building, everything aligned.
“I came here and saw a bunch of guys who like to work and not talk,” Chubb said. “And I realized I'm a perfect fit.”
As for his health, Chubb isn’t running from the injuries that cost him parts of the past two seasons, he’s owning them. But now, he says, they’re behind him. After a full offseason of training the way he always has — hitting his speed and strength benchmarks — Chubb says he’s feeling the best he has in years. He’s quick to remind people that bouncing back from major injuries, especially the one he suffered in 2023, is rarely a one-year journey. It takes time. He’s given it time.
Then there’s his fit with Mixon. The two aren’t just stylistic complements, they go way back. Same recruiting class, same reputation for running hard, same respect for each other’s games. Chubb remembers dreading matchups against the Bengals in Cleveland, worrying Mixon would take over the game. Now, he sees the opportunity in pairing up. “It’ll be us kinda doing that back-to-back against other defenses,” he said.
He’s also well aware of what C.J. Stroud brings to the table. Chubb watched Stroud nearly dismantle Georgia in the College Football Playoff. Then he saw it again, up close, when Stroud lit up the Browns in the postseason. “He torched us again,” Chubb said. Now, he gets to run alongside him, not against him.
Stroud made a point to welcome Chubb, exchanging numbers and offering support. It may seem like a small thing, but it’s the kind of leadership that helped sell Chubb on the Texans as more than just a good football fit — it’s a good locker room fit, too.
It appears the decision to come to Houston wasn’t part of some master plan. But in retrospect, it makes perfect sense. Chubb is a player with a no-nonsense work ethic, recovering from adversity, looking to write the next chapter of a career that’s far from over. And the Texans? They’re a team on the rise, built around guys who want to do the same.
You can watch the full interview in the video below.
And for those wondering how Joe Mixon feels about Nick Chubb, check out this video from last season. Let's just say he's a fan.
I’ve seen some speculation indicating that Joe Mixon may not be happy the Texans signed Nick Chubb. If that is what you believe, watch this clip from an interview with @greenlight pod last year & get back to me. pic.twitter.com/3vaip85esj
— Houston Stressans (@TexansCommenter) June 11, 2025
*ChatGPT assisted.
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