THE COUCH SLOUCH

NBA should take a break from relying on 'load management'

NBA should take a break from relying on 'load management'
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Kawhi Leonard

Let's talk load management!

("Load management" is one of those newfangled terms – like "cancel culture" and "pain point" and "deep state" and "escape room" and "Adam Sandler" – with which Couch Slouch finds little joy in encountering.)

The NBA has been swept away by load management mania. Suddenly, its players – in particular its best players – are fragile art pieces that must be handled lovingly and delicately. You watch their minutes, you rest their bodies, you manage their load.

Oh, please.

If I adhered to self-load management, I wouldn't even be writing these words; December is a five-column month and I'd definitely take a week off in November to relax my typing fingers.

The Los Angeles Clippers' Kawhi Leonard recently sat out consecutive national TV games, one week apart, with the league's blessing/approval.

(Remember, as a kid, when you had to bring a doctor's note to school when missing class? NBA players now need a permission note from the league office when resting while healthy.)

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban loves load management, citing it as "the best thing to ever happen to the league." He points to the wisdom of keeping players in top shape longer, making sure they are available when the games count most in the postseason.

"The dumb thing," Cuban says, "would be to ignore the science."

No, the dumb thing would be to ignore the customers.

If I understand this correctly – and I usually do – NBA players are paid, on the average, $7.6 million a year, a large reason a family of four must Airbnb its guest room if it wants to afford going to a game, and then when you get there, the marquee players might be sitting out due to load management?

HOW STUPID DO WE LOOK?

If professional sports franchises now utilize "dynamic pricing" – another dastardly newfangled term in which ticket costs are increased when a more attractive team is in town – then shouldn't they offer a rebate when buying seats to a game in which superstars sit out?

To ease the labor load on its overworked players, the NBA, of course, could shorten its season or stop scheduling back-to-back games, which is like asking Lincoln Continental to limit its line of cars and stop scheduling Matthew McConaughey to sell them. Money is as money does, and nobody in the NBA family – owners, players, TV partners – wants to grab a smaller piece of the American pie.

Anyhow, you think Wilt Chamberlain ever considered load management?

(Oh, maybe off the court. Then again, maybe not.)

In the 1961-62 NBA season, Chamberlain played all 82 games, averaging 48.5 minutes a game. Note: NBA games are 48 regulation minutes in duration. Including overtime, he missed a total of eight minutes all season – this occurred when he ran out to a pharmacy in Boston during the third quarter of a game to purchase a personal item.

The heavy load did not wear down Wilt: He averaged 50.4 points and 25.7 rebounds that season.

How about Gordie Howe? The NHL legend never took a load management day as a 52-year-old for the Hartford Whalers, playing in all 80 games in the 1979-80 season.

Let's talk theater for a moment. Actors get one day off a week, with added afternoon performances Wednesdays and Sundays; that's eight shows every seven days. Can you imagine Joel Embiid playing a 1 p.m. game for the Philadelphia 76ers, then coming back that night for an 8 p.m. tipoff?

You think Olivier took off matinees when he was playing Hamlet at the Old Vic?

"Due to load management, the role of Hamlet usually played by Laurence Olivier will be performed tonight by Spoons McCallahan."

By the way, what's the load management situation for Chinese workers who produce basketball shoes for the NBA via Nike? Do they get one day off a week to refresh mind and body, and keep them ready for the holiday-shopping-season rush?

Come to think of it, load management might've saved my first marriage.

Ask The Slouch

Q. The Cincinnati Bengals are third in the NFL in red-zone defense, yet they have the league's worst record. Does that mean the teams that have beaten them are all bad in the red zone? (Joe Zaccardo; Amsterdam, N.Y.)

A. No, it means statistics are stupid.

Q. If Myles Garrett had hit Mason Rudolph with the crown of the helmet, would he also have been assessed a 15-yard personal foul penalty? (Tom Schreck; Davenport, Wash.)

A. I have a call into Dean Blandino on this one.

Q. Am I to understand that you honestly believe the Houston Astros were stealing signs during your second marriage? (Mark Whitley; Indianapolis)

A. It actually cost me my second marriage, which was not affected by load management.

Q. Is it a quid pro quo impeachable offense if POTUS offers a Megan Rapinoe trading card to the Brazilian president in exchange for an old Pele trading card? (Bill Rote; Springfield, Va.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

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Cal Raleigh becomes the first catcher, switch-hitter to win the Home Run Derby. Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images.

Cal Raleigh approached the All-Star Home Run Derby like a day on the lawn. Dad was on the mound and baby brother was behind the plate.

Only this time, there were tens of thousands looking on at Truist Park and a $1 million prize.

“It goes all the way back to him coming home and me forcing him to throw me a ball and hit it in the backyard or in the house or something probably shouldn’t be doing,” a beaming Cal said, flanked by Todd and Todd Jr. after defeating Tampa Bay’s Junior Caminero 18-15 in the final round Monday night.

Todd Raleigh, former coach of Tennessee and Western Carolina, threw the pitches and Cal’s 15-year-old brother, Todd Raleigh Jr., did the catching. A first-time All-Star at age 28, Cal became the first switch-hitter and first catcher to win the title. He’s the second Mariners player to take the title after three-time winner Ken Griffey Jr., who was on the field, snapping photos.

“Anybody that’s ever played baseball as a kid dreams of stuff like this,” Cal’s dad said. “I dreamed of it. He dreamed of it. When you’re a parent, you look at it differently because you want your kids to be happy.”

Leading the major leagues with 38 home runs at the All-Star break, Cal almost didn’t make it past the first round. The Mariners’ breakout slugger nicknamed Big Dumper and the Athletics’ Brent Rooker each hit 17 homers, and Raleigh advanced on a tiebreaker for longest long ball: 470.61 feet to 470.53 — or 0.96 inches. At first, Cal wasn’t aware whether there would be a swing-off.

“An inch off, and I’m not even in the final four, which is amazing,” Cal said. “So I guess I got lucky there. One extra biscuit.”

Raleigh totaled 54 homers. He won his semifinal 19-13 over Pittsburgh’s Oneil Cruz, whose 513-foot first-round drive over the right-center field seats was the longest of the night.

 

Cal’s brother, nicknamed T, kept yelling encouragement to the brother he so admires.

“His swag, the way he plays, the way he hustles,” T said.

Hitting second in the final round, the 22-year-old Caminero closed within three dingers — MLB counted one that a fan outfielder caught with an over-the-wall grab. Using a multicolored bat and down to his last out, Caminero took three pitches and hit a liner to left.

“I didn’t think I was going to hit as many home runs or make it to the finals,” Caminero said through a translator.

Cal was just the second Derby switch-hitter after Baltimore’s Adley Rutschman in 2023. His dad was a righty and wanted both his sons to hit from both sides.

“Did it from the first day, when he was in diapers, literally,” Todd Sr. said. “I would take that big ball and he had a big red bat. I’d throw it slow and he’d hit it. Then I’d say stay there, pick him up, turn him around, switch his hands and do it again. I was a catcher. I played a little bit, and I just knew what a premium it was. I didn’t want either one of my boys to ever say, am I right-handed or left-handed?”

There was a downside.

“I don’t recommend it if you have two kids, they’re both switch hitters, if you want to save your arm, because that’s a lot of throwing,” said dad, who had rotator cuff surgery.

Raleigh hit his first eight homers left-handed, took a timeout, then hit seven right-handed. Going back to lefty, he hit two more in the bonus round and stayed lefty for the rest of the night.

“Was grooving a little bit more lefty so we were like, since we have a chance to win, we might as well stick to the side that’s working a little better,” Cal said.

Caminero beat Minnesota’s Byron Buxton 8-7 in the other semifinal. Atlanta’s Matt Olson, Washington’s James Wood, the New York Yankees’ Jazz Chisholm Jr. and Rooker were eliminated in the first round of the annual power show.

Cruz’s long drive was the hardest-hit at 118 mph.

Wood hit 16 homers, including one that landed on the roof of the Chop House behind the right-field wall. Olson, disappointing his hometown fans, did not go deep on his first nine swings and finished with 15, Chisholm hit just three homers, the fewest since the timer format started in 2015.fter it was all over, the Raleighs headed out. Stephanie, the boys’ mom and Todd Sr.'s wife, is surrounded by baseball.

After it was all over, the Raleighs headed out. Stephanie, the boys’ mom and Todd Sr.'s wife, is surrounded by baseball.

“We kind of leave it in the cage. We’ve got a cage at home, a building,” Todd Sr. said. “Or we leave it in the car on the rides home. There’s probably been a few times where she says, yeah, that’s enough.”

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