Every-Thing Sports

NCAA bowl season: The games we REALLY need to see

Jermaine Every
Dec 4, 2018, 7:10 am
It's bowl season. ESPN

It’s December, and you know what that means? IT’S BOWL SEASON! College football will have 478 bowls this year starting Dec. 15 through the title game on Jan. 7. OK, maybe I exaggerated a teeny bit. But you get the picture.

Bowl season has gotten out of hand. The only thing more ridiculous is the names. With sponsors now making their name a part of the bowl name, we’re subjected to things like a Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl, a Dollar General Bowl, and a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. I believe The Usual Suspects said it best on their show: What the hell is a Gasparilla?!?

That being said, I’m going to be tuned in and try to watch every last one of them. I was going over all the bowls and planning my watch schedule when I had an idea: what if we could come up with new bowls and names? What would they be? Who or what could they be named after? Well, here’s my remix on bowl season:

The Taco Bowl

The Taco Bowl will be sponsored by all the hole-in-the-wall taqueria’s and taco trucks. Teams must have at least 10 wins to qualify because even if they lose, they must have a winning record since tacos are one of the rare foods that rarely takes a loss. It will be held in small, out-dated stadiums at random times because the best tacos come from random places and are eaten at any given time of the day.

The Millenial Bowl

This bowl will revolutionize college football by being played in the virtual reality realm. Players will all have VR suits so they won’t have to take physical contact. The crowd will be neutral and unbiased, preventing the players from hearing any disparaging remarks. There will be no score kept. Teams will be chosen at random, but every team in college football will get a chance to play in this bowl, regardless of their record.

The Trump Bowl

The Trump Bowl will be the biggest bowl ever! It’s going to be huge! It’ll be the best bowl with the best teams! This bowl will make bowl season great again! It’ll take place at The Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach because we want only the best people to attend! It’s gonna be great! No bad hombres allowed!

The Political Divide Bowl

There are only two types of schools that can qualify for this bowl: liberal arts or private Christian conservative schools. If you’re a progressive school or have multiple different degree programs, you are not eligible. Only far left or far right schools are allowed. The rest of you can suck it!

The Gimmick Gameplan Bowl

Only way to qualify for this bowl is to have a gimmick offense and/or defense. By gimmick, I mean something off the wall. For example: teams that still run the triple option or pass 70 times a game or play a three man front on defense with a 275 pound nose tackle can qualify. Special teams are nearly null and void because punts, field goals, and extra points are outlawed.

The Napoleon Bowl

Napoleon Complex, commonly referred to as “short man complex”, occurs in people of small stature. Therefore, the only teams that qualify for this bowl are Group of Five schools. The two best Group of Five schools will be matched up in a game that will be played in direct competition of the national title game. The game will be held on Boise State’s blue turf field and will air on Spike TV.

If you have anything to add, please let me know. There may be another list like this, or not. That’s totally up to you guys and whether or not Fred kills me between now and next Tuesday.

 

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NCAA REWIND

Saturday NCAA football recap: The Stars at Night are dim and dark for Texas teams in Week 6

Joe Burrow is still amazing, Houston is a disorganized mess and Bad Baylor is undefeated. Here's a look at what happened in the Lone Star State and with LSU:

Cincinnati 38, Houston 23

What a disorganized (bleep) show this game was for Houston. Cincinnati took an early lead and Perry Young's two-yard pick-six sealed a 38-23 road win over Houston on Saturday. Houston coach Dana Holgorsen was playing an odd game of quarterback musical chairs in which he waited until a QB got going before replacing them with someone else. Clayton Tune, Bryson Smith and Logan Holgorsen all got playing time in Houston's quarterback audition on Saturday. "Came up short," Holgorsen said. "We had a chance to win in the fourth quarter. A couple of bad calls I thought prevented us from being able to get the ball back and go score. It is what it is, you have to deal with it." Sure, there were a few questionable calls, but teams overcome bad calls all the time. What are we going to do about your brutally disorganized game management? The Cougars committed five turnovers at home and Tune threw three interceptions after not practicing for two weeks, which is particularly interesting considering Holgorsen's incessant preaching about not playing if you don't practice. Tune finished 9-of-27 for 184 yards and two touchdowns. The Cougars are on the road against UConn on Oct. 19.

Oklahoma 34, Texas 27

Oklahoma quarterback Jalen Hurts zipped through the Texas defense, overcoming early mistakes to lead the sixth-ranked Sooners to a 34-27 victory over the Longhorns in the Red River Showdown on Saturday. "We knew how good they were," Texas coach Tom Herman said. "We knew that their defense had improved, and we certainly saw the things that they were doing offensively." Let's face it: the Longhorns were outmatched. Texas quarterback Sam Ehlinger was sacked nine times, the Sooners never trailed their Red River Rivals and the No. 11 Longhorns gave up 511 yards. Hurts found receiver CeeDee Lamb for three touchdown passes on 10 receptions for 171 yards. Hurts threw for 235 yards and added 131 more rushing, including a 3-yard touchdown run for a 34-20 lead in the fourth quarter. Despite being sacked nine times, Ehlinger did not shy away from his run game, scoring twice on the ground. "They did a really good job of swarming the football," Ehlinger said. "Obviously they recruit extremely well and have tremendously talented players. I feel like they just let them go make plays." Ehlinger finished 26-of-38 for 210 yards. Texas should not drop far after a competitive road showing against a top-10 opponent. The Longhorns face Kansas at home next Saturday.

Alabama 47, Texas A&M 28

Whew. This one was hard to watch. Alabama quarterback Tua Tagovailoa is beyond good, he's more of an "inexorable force of nature." Tagovailoa threw four touchdowns and the No. 1 Crimson Tide rolled over Texas A&M 47-28 on Saturday. Alabama trailed briefly after A&M scored a touchdown on its first possession. Tagovailoa took over from there, leading four consecutive scoring drives, including three touchdown passes that came on third down. Tagovailoa spread the scoring around, hitting different receivers for each of his touchdown passes. "I feel I have a relationship with everyone, a good connection with everyone," Tagovailoa said. Aggie quarterback Kellen Mond threw for 264 yards and two touchdowns and ran for another score. Texas A&M has lost its second game to a top-ranked opponent this season after falling to then-No.1 Clemson Sept. 7. "We have to push through it. Against good people, you can't almost get there. You got to be all the way, executing on every play," Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher said. The Aggies (3-3, 1-2) will likely fall out of the rankings and it could be a while before they return. Texas A&M travels to Mississippi on Oct. 19.

LSU 42, Florida 28

About how many more times are you guys going to let me get away with fangirling over LSU quarterback Joe Burrow? After the Tigers fell behind in the second half, Burrow threw for 293 yards and three unanswered touchdowns leading LSU to a dramatic 42-28 victory over No. 7 Florida on Saturday night. LSU totaled 511 yards against a Florida defense that leads the nation in interceptions and leads the SEC in sacks, without giving up a sack or committing a turnover. According to LSU coach Ed Orgeron, holding Florida's defense without a sack was "the biggest stat of the night." Burrow went 21-of-24, meaning he had the same number of touchdown passes as incompletions. "Once we protect the quarterback, I feel confident in us moving the football," Orgeron said. While LSU's offense was undeniably prolific against the best defense it's faced this season, the Tigers' defense left much to be desired for the third time against a major conference opponent. Expect LSU to move into the top four after No. 3 Georgia lost to South Carolina. The Tigers are on the road against Mississippi next week.

Baylor 33, Texas Tech 30

Somehow, Baylor quarterback Charlie Brewer managed to keep the Big 12's longest winning streak alive and get the Bears a victory in their first game as a ranked team under coach Matt Rhule. Baylor running back JaMycal Hasty ran for the winning score in the second overtime, lifting the Bears to a 33-30 win over Texas Tech on Saturday. Brewer was 24-of-37 passing for 352 yards but threw his first three interceptions of the season. What his passing game lacked, Brewer made up for with his feet, scoring three touchdowns on the ground. "I just feel like that's when the quarterback has to be at his best, when the game's on the line," Brewer said. "I made my handful of mistakes earlier in the game. But as a quarterback you've just got to let it go and realize you've got a chance to win the game." Both teams gained more than 500 yards and three turnovers. Texas Tech quarterback Jett Duffey finished 31-of-42 passing for 362 yards, one touchdown and two interceptions. Baylor plays at Oklahoma State and Texas Tech faces Iowa State at home next Saturday.

UL Monroe 24, Texas State 14

Josh Johnson ran for 114 yards and two touchdowns on 22 carries to help UL Monroe beat Texas State 24-14 on Thursday night. Texas State quarterback Tyler Vitt was intercepted late in the fourth quarter and the Warhawks ran out the clock to secure the win. The Bobcats are on the road against Arkansas State next Saturday.

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