Every-Thing Sports

NCAA bowl season: The games we REALLY need to see

It's bowl season. ESPN

It’s December, and you know what that means? IT’S BOWL SEASON! College football will have 478 bowls this year starting Dec. 15 through the title game on Jan. 7. OK, maybe I exaggerated a teeny bit. But you get the picture.

Bowl season has gotten out of hand. The only thing more ridiculous is the names. With sponsors now making their name a part of the bowl name, we’re subjected to things like a Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl, a Dollar General Bowl, and a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl. I believe The Usual Suspects said it best on their show: What the hell is a Gasparilla?!?

That being said, I’m going to be tuned in and try to watch every last one of them. I was going over all the bowls and planning my watch schedule when I had an idea: what if we could come up with new bowls and names? What would they be? Who or what could they be named after? Well, here’s my remix on bowl season:

The Taco Bowl

The Taco Bowl will be sponsored by all the hole-in-the-wall taqueria’s and taco trucks. Teams must have at least 10 wins to qualify because even if they lose, they must have a winning record since tacos are one of the rare foods that rarely takes a loss. It will be held in small, out-dated stadiums at random times because the best tacos come from random places and are eaten at any given time of the day.

The Millenial Bowl

This bowl will revolutionize college football by being played in the virtual reality realm. Players will all have VR suits so they won’t have to take physical contact. The crowd will be neutral and unbiased, preventing the players from hearing any disparaging remarks. There will be no score kept. Teams will be chosen at random, but every team in college football will get a chance to play in this bowl, regardless of their record.

The Trump Bowl

The Trump Bowl will be the biggest bowl ever! It’s going to be huge! It’ll be the best bowl with the best teams! This bowl will make bowl season great again! It’ll take place at The Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach because we want only the best people to attend! It’s gonna be great! No bad hombres allowed!

The Political Divide Bowl

There are only two types of schools that can qualify for this bowl: liberal arts or private Christian conservative schools. If you’re a progressive school or have multiple different degree programs, you are not eligible. Only far left or far right schools are allowed. The rest of you can suck it!

The Gimmick Gameplan Bowl

Only way to qualify for this bowl is to have a gimmick offense and/or defense. By gimmick, I mean something off the wall. For example: teams that still run the triple option or pass 70 times a game or play a three man front on defense with a 275 pound nose tackle can qualify. Special teams are nearly null and void because punts, field goals, and extra points are outlawed.

The Napoleon Bowl

Napoleon Complex, commonly referred to as “short man complex”, occurs in people of small stature. Therefore, the only teams that qualify for this bowl are Group of Five schools. The two best Group of Five schools will be matched up in a game that will be played in direct competition of the national title game. The game will be held on Boise State’s blue turf field and will air on Spike TV.

If you have anything to add, please let me know. There may be another list like this, or not. That’s totally up to you guys and whether or not Fred kills me between now and next Tuesday.

 

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The media has mixed feelings about the James Harden trade. Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

James Harden was 100-percent exactly right earlier this week when he said the Houston Rockets were "just not good enough."

How could they be? Not when their moody superstar scorer, who makes about half a million dollars per game, shows up chubby, looking like a kielbasa about to explode in the microwave. Hey, some people eat when they're unhappy, it's a defense mechanism. In Harden's case, the only defense he's exhibited this season. At least he had a good excuse for missing pre-season training camp and alienating his teammates - he was busy partying with Cinnamon and Cherish in Atlanta and Vegas without a mask. Worst of all, he went into the tank his last four games in a Rockets uniform, standing around, arms folded, scoring fewer than 20 points each time, all Rockets losses. Fans in the front row were asking him to move, he was blocking their view of players who cared about winning. James Harden sabotaged his own team, a team that offered him $50 million a year to stay. Something that crazy could only happen in professional sports these days.

There's a saying that drives the American labor movement: "a fair day's wage for a fair day's work." It's the motto of the American Federation of Labor. The National Basketball Players Association is not a member. Harden's sulking on the court, cheating the Rockets and their fans, was unforgivable.

Harden, sitting out games while somehow being on the court, forced the Rockets to trade him - and quick - to Brooklyn. The trade, when you ignore the fine print and unindicted co-conspirators Cleveland and Indiana, sent Harden to Brooklyn in exchange for Caris LeVert (immediately flipped for Victor Oladipo), Jarrett Allen, three first-round draft picks and four swapped first-rounders. It's true, when you trade a superstar, you never get back equal value. The other team wins.

If it makes Rockets fans feel any better, the media in New York already has problems with their new problem child. I should say newest problem child. Kyrie Irving plays for the Nets.

"They (the Nets) gave up everybody! There's nothing left now. I just want to cry, It's awful," weeped WFAN Radio talk host Evan Roberts. For those who don't subscribe to weekly Arbitron ratings reports, WFAN is the most powerful, top-rated sports talk station in the Apple.

"You're leading down the road of doom. Harden and Durant could be gone in a year and a half. I'm not convinced this gives them a better chance to win a title. I'm living a nightmare again. They better freaking win."

Circle March 3 on your Rockets schedule. That's when the Brooklyn Nets, with their Big 3 of Kevin Durant, James Harden and possibly Kyrie Irving visit Toyota Center. I hear talk radio salivating over the record jeers that will cascade over Harden's name, although I'm not buying it. Fans don't think like the media does. I'm thinking that Rockets fans will welcome Harden back - one night only - with cheers.

Toyota Center public address announcer Matt Thomas: "Usually when former Rockets come to town for the first time since leaving, I give them a positive introduction. It's up to the fans how to react."

James Harden spent eight seasons with the Rockets. He is a spectacular player who watched other NBA players engineer trades so they could compete for a title. Harden didn't think the Rockets were good enough, and he's right. So he wanted out. We've all been there, a job we didn't like for a company we didn't like, for a boss we didn't respect. Harden wanting to be traded is understandable. How he went about it was deplorable. He hurt his co-workers.

Houston will make Harden pay for his disrespectful departure. He has an upscale restaurant set to open here. The name of the steakhouse will be "13." Harden's business partners may want to change that number ... before the restaurant's telephone number is disconnected. There are plenty of other restaurants in Houston. Rich people who can afford steakhouse prices hold grudges.

Rockets fans searching for a silver lining say, "We got two decent players and a whole bunch of precious first-round picks" for a malcontent who would rather be anywhere (except maybe Sacramento) than Houston." Yes, a bunch of first-round picks does bode well for the future. Anywhere, except maybe Houston.

Houston's draft war room isn't the most successful operation in the NBA. Over the past decade prior to 2000, under the direction of general manager Daryl Morey, the Rockets made 16 draft picks. Not one of them is still in a Rockets uniform, many of them have sought employment outside of America, some outside of basketball. Among their first-round whiffs: Nikola Mirotic, Terrence Jones, Sam Dekker - all out of the league. Best of all, Royce White, who played three whole games in his NBA career and finished with a scoring average of 0.00 points per game.

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