THE NERD REPORT

Nerds Around Town: SNL, craft beer and Lil Pump

Nerds Around Town: SNL, craft beer and Lil Pump
ART BY JESUS RODRIGUEZ

Born with a comic book in one hand and a remote control in the other, Cory DLG is the talent of Conroe's very own Nerd Thug Radio, Sports and Wrestling. Check out the podcast replay of the FM radio show at www.nerdthugradio.com!

Hey Nerds!

It's once again the most important day of the week, it is Monday! So let's set this week up for success and make sure that we crush this week!

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY

It's a frustrating thing to think about, but we live in a great and powerful nation of intelligent and wonderful people and yet, when we get sick, as a nation we all just shrug and think, welp, I'm screwed. We can do better and I wish we would but since we haven't here is where we are. My friend is sick and Exit 73 is holding a benefit to help him raise money this Sunday at noon. There's a BBQ plate you can buy and an auction with proceeds going to help him in his fight against cancer. Exit 73, this Sunday at noon. #NerdsUnite

COMEDY SHOW

This weekend, one of my favorite and in my opinion one of the most massively underrated comedians is coming into town, Kevin Nealon. He's a former anchor on the weekend update desk from SNL and obviously was in tons of great sketches and he's always just been a great comedy guy. He's got fantastic timing and he used to do this bit where he would insert subliminal messages in his conversation, it was a hilarious SNL sketch. Anyway this Friday and Saturday at the Houston Improv, if you're out and about, I say check him out.

DUELING BANDS

So on Friday both Dave Matthews band and the rapper Lil Pump are performing. Dave Matthews has won Grammys and has had a 20+ year career, Lil Pump has made music for a couple of years. Tickets to see Dave Matthews at The Woodlands Pavilion are $45 and tickets to see Lil Pump at Revention Music Center are $45. Wait what? The same price? What the heck is going on? Who is paying Dave Matthews money to see Lil Pump? And who told Lil Pump he's worth that much money? Are all concerts just $45 and there's no way around it? What is going on here? I'm not a fan of either honestly but if you told me these two shows cost the same amount of money I would laugh at you for an hour. Is there no pricing structure in live music? That's weird.

A GOOD FESTIVAL

Saturday there's a Music to my Beers fest. It's a craft beer and music festival. This sounds amazing. Featuring the craft breweries from the south side of Houston and music from Beat Root Revival and other bands I honestly haven't heard of, it does still sound pretty cool. It's at the Pearland Town Center and it's always nice to say Pearland without having to say something is burning. I think there should be more stories like this one, anyway, live music and craft beer. Sound good?

NOT THAT YOU ASKED

So this will be an unpopular opinion, I know that, but right now I'm a little disappointed in all the politics involved in both the Police Dept and the Fire Dept of Houston. The Fire Dept has been in a pretty tough dispute with the city about pay, and my opinion is simply this, voting for a raise isn't the right way to do that. Negotiating and city planning are the methods for increasing the pay of the city, also it's irresponsible to put unfunded initiatives on ballots anyway but that's a separate issue. Making the city honor the raises without firing and demoting people wasn't a reasonable thought and forcing the mayor to give fire fighters a raise by vote wasn't the right move; did they think strong arming someone would make things easier? If you forced your boss to do something at work, what do you think would be the consequences of that? Also the family and friends of the two victims from that no knock raid that went bad hired an independent forensic team and apparently the crime scene was very poorly examined making the Department look even more like they were covering stuff up, also it's annoying when the Union Rep for the Houston Police Dept gets on TV and says crazy things, is that really the image the police want to project? This brash, rude man? Anyway, I'd like to see these issues be handled better by everyone but they probably won't be; when will they charge that lead cop in the raid with two counts of murder and some attempted murder of several officers for faking the info for the warrant? They would do that to anyone else, I feel like. I just want to see some equality in how these things get handled.

I'm going to jump out and wish you guys a great Tuesday and remind everyone to be kind to each other and try a little harder to have a great day! I'm coming back Wednesday and we'll be bringing more good times your way. Feel free to check out my digital short story The Wilson House or buy a shirt from Side Hustle Ts where some proceeds help fight cancer or listen to Nerd Thug Radio or support our Patreon Page. Thoughts, complaints, events and comments can be sent to corydlg@gmail.com.

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The Astros' offense needs a reset. Photo by Logan Riely/Getty Images.

Major League Baseball’s regular season is 162 games long. You can think of 18 games as the first inning of the season, 18 times nine equaling 162. While the Astros 8-10 record is not good, it’s far from disastrous. Think of it as them being behind 1-0 after the first inning. It is pretty remarkable that they have yet to win consecutive games. Even during last year’s 7-19 stink bomb of a start the Astros twice managed to win two in a row.

The Astros’ offensive woes are plentiful. Oddly enough as impotent as they’ve been, the Astros have yet to be shutout. But in half their games they have scored exactly one or two runs. Basically, most of them stink thus far. Exemptions go to Jose Altuve and Isaac Paredes, but it’s not like either of them has been outstanding. It’s still early enough that one big series can dramatically alter the numbers, but the Astros badly need Yordan Alvarez to pick up his production. Yordan enters the weekend batting just .224 with a .695 OPS and just four extra base hits. Yainer rhymes with minor. As in minor leagues, where Diaz belongs at his current level of performance. That is not saying Diaz should be sent down, just that any random AAA catcher called up couldn’t have done much worse to this point. Diaz isn’t hitting Altuve’s weight, a woeful .130 with seven hits in 57 at bats. Diaz simply remains too undisciplined at the plate swinging at too many balls. He’s drawn three walks. And now to Christian Walker, who thus far has delivered return on investment for his three year 60 million dollar contract about as strong as the stock market’s performance in Tariff Time. Walker’s .154 batting average and .482 OPS are very Astro Jose Abreu-like. Walker’s23 strikeouts in 65 at bats jump off the page. In the batter’s box he has often looked befuddled. Walker is definitely pressing and frustrated, wanting to perform better for his new team. Jeremy Pena goes into the weekend batting .215 and has one hit in 13 at bats with runners in scoring position. Brendan Rodgers, Jake Meyers, and Chas McCormick all have weak stat lines, with little reason to expect quality offensive output from any of them. Cam Smith is at .200 with a yucky .591 OPS but he’s obviously a young stud work in progress thrown into the deep end of the pool.

All batting orders are top-heavy, the Astros’ on paper more so than many. As I set forth on one of our Stone Cold ‘Stros podcasts this week, the first inning should be a team’s best offensive inning. It’s the only frame in which a team gets to dictate who comes up from the start with the batters lined up just as the manager slots them. Add to that, the first inning is a good time to get to a starting pitcher before he settles in. The Astros have scored a pitiful three first inning runs in 18 games, and in two of the games they pushed one across in the first, it turned out to be the only Astro run of the game. Improvement needs to come internally from the big league roster. It’s not as if the Astros have a meaningful prospect at AAA Sugar Land who looks ready to help. Entering play Thursday the Space Cowboys’ team average was .186. Second base hopeful Brice Matthews is nowhere close, batting .180 and striking out left and right. Outfielder Jacob Melton opened three for 17 following the back injury-delayed start to his season.

As exasperating and boring as the offense has been for so many, grading needs to occur on a curve. So, while the Astros’ team batting average is a joke at .216, know that at close of business Wednesday the entire American League was batting just .232. The American League West-leading Texas Rangers scored eight fewer runs over their first 18 games than did the Astros, though that is skewed by the Astros’ one 14-run outburst against the Angels.

Familiar faces return

This weekend the Astros play host to the San Diego Padres at Daikin Park. The Friars are off to a fabulous start at 15-4. The Padres being here creates a mini reunion as both Martin Maldonado and Yuli Gurriel are on their roster. In a telling fact, Maldonado would have the third-highest batting average on the Astros if on the team with his current numbers. Maldonado is hitting .250 with seven hits in 28 at bats. The last season he finished above .200 was 2020. The only season in his career Maldonado topped .234 was his rookie season with a .266 mark in 2012.

Gurriel was last good in 2021 when he won the American League batting title at .319. He fell off a cliff from there, though perked up to have a fine postseason in the Astros’ 2022 run to World Series title number two. “La Pina” is batting .115 with just three hits in 26 at bats. Gurriel may be released soon, and approaching his 41st birthday June 9, that would probably be the end of the line. Short-timer Astro Jason Heyward is also on the Padres, and batting .190.

For Astro-centric conversation, join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and me for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday. Click here to catch!

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