NERDS AROUND TOWN

Nerds Around Town: Westbrook, Area 51 and ghosts

Nerds Around Town: Westbrook, Area 51 and ghosts
ART BY JESUS RODRIGUEZ

Born with a comic book in one hand and a remote control in the other, Cory DLG is the talent of Conroe's very own Nerd Thug Radio and Sports. Check out the podcast replay of the FM radio show at www.nerdthugradio.com!

Hey Nerds!

Friday is here! Lets kick its ass!

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY

The Stixx and Stonez Sundresses and Summershirts party is this Saturday bring socks and toiletries for donation and be prepared to have an awesome time.

WHITE PEOPLE CRAZY

If you have ever heard the term "White People Crazy" and wasn't sure what it meant, let me help you out. A couple bought the house from The Conjuring on purpose and plan on having ghost tours and investigators come through there after they do some remodeling (something that ghosts notoriously love). That's "White People Crazy," if you believe in ghosts and the supernatural then the last thing you should want to do is invite the kind of crazy danger that might be associated with owning the house from The Conjuring. The family who used to live there who the story was based on, still maintain today that some absolutely awful stuff happened and The Warrens basically made their "bones" on that case and went on to become The Ghostbusters of the real world.

IS THIS CRAZY

Russell Westbrook! The Houston Rockets obviously made a crazy trade and swapped Westbrook for Chris Paul after giving Paul a massive contract last off season. The big thing about the Paul deal was that basically it meant we had maybe one or two more years of this high-level basketball before Paul would likely start breaking down and being unable to play at the high level his massive salary warranted. Westbrook is four years younger and therefore we hopefully have side stepped that problem. The other potential issue is that Russ is not a great shooter, that's ok, we don't want him to shoot, I'm assuming the biggest reason we got him is that in both playoff runs there were games where we would go several agonizing possessions missing 3's and suddenly fall behind. Well I'm guessing that's where Russ comes in, a dribble penetrator who plays a different ISO game than Harden does, and some critics have been saying well you clog the paint against Russ and it limits his effectiveness, well the Rockets are still going to have several shooters on the floor so they can't clog the paint too hard. I think this is an attempt to make sure this year there's no 0-27 run of shots.

THAT'S NOT MINE

A cargo ship allegedly owned by JP Morgan Chase was just seized in the port of Philadelphia with 20 tons of cocaine. I just want to point out first of all that JP Morgan owns a fund the ship is part of that they don't actually have control of the ship but still, how many people are in jail for being the driver of a car or the owner of a place where bad things happened even if they weren't in control. I don't think there's going to be any real consequences to them, I don't even think they'll pay a fine but cases like this will be what I think about when I read stories of people who maintain their innocence and say the drugs or a gun belonged to a passenger of their vehicle. It's good to be filthy rich. By the way the street value of that bust was $1.3 billion.

NOT THAT YOU ASKED

Also no one is going to storm Area 51, seriously. It's a really bad idea to even type that you're going to do that. Someone online started a petition that everyone should storm Area 51 and most of them will get in and find out the truth. That's an awful idea, the military won't want to shoot up a bunch of its own citizens but it will gladly arrest and redirect your crazy asses. Please don't be this person, seriously.

Feel free to check out my digital short story The Wilson House or buy a shirt from Side Hustle Ts where some proceeds help people struggling with cancer or listen to Nerd Thug Radio. Thoughts, complaints, events and comments can be sent to corydlg@gmail.com.

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The Astros are back in action Friday night against the A's. Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images.

The Astros need to whip up on the Oakland A’s this weekend in California as they did in sweeping four from them last week at Minute Maid Park. That was the start of a homestand which ended up with seven wins in 10 games. That goes down as a successful homestand, especially since it felt like the Astros’ prior winning homestand came while Donald Trump was President (it actually started in late July). Still, 7-3 doesn’t feel like a smashing success with it ending by dropping two of three games to the lowly Los Angeles Angels.

It is not exactly with bated breath that anyone should be waiting on Jose Abreu’s return to the lineup, but it’s coming. It should not be on this road trip. After the three games with the A’s the Astros move up the coast for a big four game set with American League West leading Seattle. The M's start all right-handed pitchers. That is no time to sit Jon Singleton to see if Abreu has managed to pump a few drops of gas into his tank while spending the better part of this month at the Astros’ minor league complex. It’s not as if Singleton has been stellar since Abreu’s departure, but by comparison, he’s been Lou Gehrig-esque. The series with the Mariners isn’t make or break but the Astros are strongly advised to get at least a split. That it should be Framber Valdez starting the opener Monday night doesn’t breed tremendous confidence, coming off his meltdown outing against the Angels. Another start, another opportunity.

The Mariners are at the Nationals this weekend, starting it a mere four and a half games ahead of the Astros. In four of the five other divisions the Astros' 22-28 record would have them at least 10 games off the lead.

One step forward, two steps back

Speaking of washed-up first basemen, Joey Votto should be a future Hall of Famer. The 40-year-old Canadian is trying to make it back to the big leagues via the minor leagues with the Toronto Blue Jays. Votto was an absolutely tremendous player with the Cincinnati Reds. As the Beastie Boys said, “Ch-check it out.” Over Jeff Bagwell’s first ten seasons with the Astros he hit .305 with a .417 on-base percentage and .552 slugging percentage, yielding a phenomenal .970 OPS. Over Votto’s first ten full seasons with the Reds: .313/.429/.540 for an exactly phenomenal .970 OPS. Where am I going with this? Read on!

Votto had phenomenal strike zone and bat control. He turned 30 during the 2013 season. That year Votto had 581 at bats. He popped out to an infielder once the entire season. Alex Bregman turned 30 the third day of this season. Bregman popped out to the shortstop four times in the Angels series. So much for Bregman’s “knob past the ball” epiphany that saw him hit three home runs over two games last week. Going into the weekend Bregman has one hit in his last 23 at bats. His season stats continue to be pitiful: a .209 batting average and .607 OPS. Bregman has only struck out once in the 23 at bats of his latest deep freeze. It’s that so much of his contract is feeble. There is a lot of season left for Bregman to build up to decent numbers, but one-third of the regular season will be complete after the Astros play the Mariners Monday night.

While Bregman’s season to date has basically been one long slump, Jose Altuve is in a funk of his own. Since blasting a homer Monday, Altuve is hitless in 12 at bats. Mini-slumps happen to everybody but Altuve’s woes trace back farther. Over his last 15 games, Altuve is batting .175. He last had more than one hit in a game May 5. He’s also drawn just two walks over those 15 games. It’s tough to ever sit Altuve, but he’s probably playing a little too much. Altuve turned 34 earlier this month. He has started 48 of the Astros 50 games at second base. Mauricio Dubon should be getting a start per week at second (and probably another at third given Bregman’s level of play). Over a full season not playing the field once per week still means 135 starts. Altuve should mix in some more at designated hitter (he has just one DH game so far this season). Wear and tear is a real thing, players don’t grow less susceptible to it as they get to their mid-30s.

King Tuck

On the flip side, Kyle Tucker! So far this season, he’s making himself as much money as Bregman is costing himself. Only Shohei Ohtani (1.069) starts the weekend action with an OPS higher than Tucker’s 1.060. The law of averages dictates that Tucker won’t finish as high as 1.060, but if he does, it would be the greatest full-length season offensive performance in Astros’ history. Jeff Bagwell posted an absurd 1.201 OPS in the strike-shortened 1994 campaign. Yordan Alvarez came in at 1.067 in his 87 games played rookie season of 2019. Lance Berkman’s 2001 was a monster. Enron Field was more hitter-friendly then than Minute Maid Park is now, but Berkman’s numbers were “Oh My Gosh!” spectacular. .331 batting average, 55 doubles (second in franchise history to Craig Biggio's 56 in 1999), 34 homers, .430 on-base percentage, .620 slugging percentage, and 1.051 OPS. And that was just Berkman’s second full season in the majors. Lance finished fifth in National League Most Valuable Player Award voting. Giant-headed Barry Bonds won MVP with his 73 home runs among other sicko stats.

* Catch our weekly Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast. Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and I discuss varied Astros topics. The first post for the week generally goes up Monday afternoon (second part released Tuesday) via The SportsMap HOU YouTube channel or listen to episodes in their entirety at Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

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