The Couch Slouch

Olympics, MLB try to get creative in rescheduling

Apr 6, 2020, 6:50 am

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Have you ever tried to reschedule an Olympic Games? Sure, many of us have postponed weddings – and there are at least two I should've canceled altogether – but those are much smaller affairs to manage. The Olympics? That's got to be the biggest event in the world, even larger than a "Duck Dynasty" Easter egg hunt.

Meanwhile…

Have you ever tried to push a Major League Baseball season back into autumn and winter? It's a scheduling and logistical nightmare – too many games to fit into too tight of a calendar – pitchers and fans won't like the weather and, of course, Houston Astros video equipment might freeze over.

So IOC and MLB officials, used to waking up around noon before strolling to the bank with those oversized checks usually reserved for Publishers Clearing House winners, now are scrambling to get their money trains back on track.

I guess the IOC had the less difficult task: It simply plopped the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo into the exact same time frame in 2021.

Ah, if it were only that easy.

So many factors – housing, venues, food services, security, vendors, et al. Do you know how many sporks have to be reordered for the Olympic Village commissary? Those babies just disappear; sporks are always the first item to walk out of the supply closet.

Heck, rebooking flights – airline change fees alone will kill you – is a financial strain.

It's a massive jigsaw puzzle, and every piece must fit. There are 25 or 30 sports, plus golf; you can't just say, "We're all good schedule-wise except for swimming – swimming doesn't work that week, so, okeydokey, we'll drop swimming."

NBC, naturally, will still be there to televise the 2021 version of the 2020 Summer Olympics, but that still leaves a 7,777-hour gaping crater in its schedule this July 24 to Aug. 9.

Sadly, NBC only has three viewable properties: The Olympics, "The Voice" and "America's Got Talent." And, sure, America's got talent, but I don't know if my beloved, beleaguered homeland has enough talent to fill all the network's needs.

(Column Intermission: With everyone corona safer-at-home at the moment, my immediate family is rather tired of hearing my dulcet tones ranting day and night; our pit mix Daisy is the only one who never leaves the room when I'm talking. So I have started the Couch Slouch podcast – for real, folks – available on your favorite podcasting app. Seeking two-legged listeners.)

As for MLB, it is contemplating a lot of less-than-optimal options.

There is still a glimmer of hope for a June 1 or July 1 start, with the possibility of playing initially at empty stadiums – so, for the Miami Marlins, it would be your typical Opening Day.

MLB might use spring training parks in Florida and Arizona, quarantining the teams in those areas and operating with no crowds until the pandemic allows otherwise.

In any compacted scenario, every day is precious, which means…doubleheaders are back, baby! I assume they will still be separate admission because, even though baseball fans will have no money, the 1 percent still needs to make up for lost yachting-and-penthouse revenue.

Speaking of which, super agent Scott Boras – FYI: "super agent" here is a euphemism for "uber-wealthy" – floated a proposal, and since he negotiated ONE BILLION DOLLARS worth of player contracts this offseason, he has considerable financial interest in this.

Boras wants a summer start, and when the temperatures drop in the fall, he points to 11 stadiums that are either domes or warm-weather sites in which postseason games could be played. He envisions a neutral-site World Series, with Game 6 being played on Christmas.

Christmas? The NBA's holiest day? Wow. Maybe they should play Game 7 in Bethlehem.

Various models have 162-game, 144-game or 100-game seasons. Or – here's a thought – they could just skip to the postseason directly; have Joe Lunardi seed the teams 1 to 30, then engage in autumnal March Madness. Call it September Insanity!

My solution? Play the entire season on Strat-O-Matic Baseball: No weather worries and the Astros can't steal signs.

Ask The Slouch

Q. President Trump spoke Saturday with executives from the NFL, MLB, NHL, NBA, WNBA, PGA, LPGA, WWE, NASCAR and others, but the PBA was not included. What gives? (Larry Snider; Seattle)

A. Underground bowling is flourishing. The White House has its own alley – POTUS should try it some time.

Q. Are you going to follow the government's policy and award all the people who write you the $1.25, or just me? (Bruce Kanter; Laurel, Md.)

A. The government's check should cover you.

Q.The Santa Anita Derby has been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic. If the horse wears a mask, why should this be a problem? (Mitchell Shapiro; Rockville, Md.)

A. Pay the man, Shirley.

Q.Under the new NFLPA agreement, does gambling revenue include all receipts at what will surely be the Oakland-L.A.-Oakland-Las Vegas Raiders Wedding Chapel? (Victoria Dailey; Alexandria, Va.)

A. Pay the lady, Shirley.

You, too, can enter the $1.25 Ask The Slouch Cash Giveaway. Just email asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your question is used, you win $1.25 in cash!

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THE PALLILOG

Here’s a realistic path for this hot-hitting rookie to make Houston Astros roster

Justin Dirden has been impressive this spring. Composite image by Brandon Strange.

Less than three weeks to Opening Day. I’m not yet tingly, but getting there! Next week we get the NCAA Tournament as a delightful bridge to help us toward March 30. More on that next week. For now, Astros angles…

I find new General Manager Dana Brown’s general candor to date wonderfully refreshing. Be it contract negotiations, player development philosophy, or his need to not “blow the draft,” Brown conveys a confident, straight-shooting demeanor. We have to see how that holds up, but to this point he comes across impressively. Of course ultimately what matters is how the ballclub performs under his stewardship.

Brown getting a five-year contract done with Cristian Javier was nice, but it doesn’t mean it’s a failure if the Astros don’t get long term extensions done now with the more accomplished Framber Valdez and Kyle Tucker. While any fan hand-wringing on the subject is understood, it’s just not a big deal with both Valdez and Tucker under team control for three more seasons. With Javier getting 64 million dollars over five years, would Framber take 80 over five (if offered)? The rumble re: Tucker is that he seeks a decade long deal. That would be talking in the 200 million dollar range. The Astros are understandably loath to going as long as 10 years.

World Baseball Classic

A dozen members of the Astros’ organization are off to play in the World Baseball Classic, including eight pitchers. Coming off a by far career-heaviest workload in 2002, Valdez wisely decided to honor the Astros’ request that he skip the WBC. Framber can root for his native Dominican Republic which without him is still loaded with key Astros’ pitchers. Javier, Hector Neris, Bryan Abreu, and Rafael Montero all will wear the DR’s red, white and blue. So will Ronel Blanco. Jeremy Pena is one of the DR shortstops.

All the absences open up some additional spring training playing time for others, but with the Astros’ roster a pretty stacked deck, the additional playing time doesn’t give much chance for guys to deal their way on to the season opening 26 man roster. Martin Maldonado is with the Puerto Rican team, so Korey Lee and Yainer Diaz can split most of the catcher reps as they battle for the complementary catcher role. It’s more than a backup role since Maldonado shouldn’t start many more than 100 of the 162 games. It’s still very limited data to judge. Lee is thus far two for 10 with a double and a home run. Diaz is scuffling at one for 12. C.J. Stubbs has essentially no chance of getting the spot, but has impressed with five hits in 10 at bats. And if you’re wondering, yes, C.J. Stubbs is the brother of former Astros’ catching prospect Garrett Stubbs.

With the odds seemingly tipping toward Michael Brantley not quite being ready for Opening Day, the door is cracked open a little bit further for outfielder Justin Dirden. Presuming the Astros will start the season carrying 13 pitchers on the roster, the bench is four players with those spots seemingly already earmarked: the number two catcher, utility men Mauricio Dubon and David Hensley, and Jake Meyers. If Brantley opens the season on the injured list, Dirden could make the big league squad.

With Lance McCullers laid up again for who knows how long, additional opportunity and scrutiny go to rookie fifth starter Hunter Brown who had a negative outing this week. Brown failed to get an out after the first meeting, walking three batters in a row to start the second before getting the hook on Monday. No cause for alarm but a reminder that Brown had inconsistent command throughout his college and minor league careers. The Astros open the regular season playing eight consecutive days so they will need five starters the first time through. Brown’s first start should come in game number five, in which he'd face the Detroit Tigers who had an absolutely pathetic offense in 2022 and did nothing substantial to upgrade it in the offseason. Good luck A.J. Hinch. You'll need it.

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Stone Cold ‘Stros is the weekly Astro-centric podcast I am part of alongside Brandon Strange and Josh Jordan. On our regular schedule it airs live at 3PM Monday on the SportsMapHouston YouTube channel, is available there for playback at any point, and also becomes available in podcast form at outlets galore. Such as:

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