CHANGING PACE
Raheel Ramzanali: Some off the wall rule changes for all the major sports
Feb 27, 2018, 6:09 am
New rule: James Harden has to bet his beard. Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
With rule changes being all the rage in sports these days, here are some other rules I would like to see implemented across all sports:
MLB - The Dock Ellis Card:Did you know LSD is still banned in baseball? As my co-host Del explained to me, “hey dumbass, LSD is still illegal so yes it is banned,” so yes it is. I think LSD being banned is dumb. If anybody still wants to take a tab of LSD and be a professional baseball player they should be able to do it. I want to take it a step further and implement a new rule where each manager is given a Dock Ellis Card every game and they can use it at anytime to make any player on their or opposing team take a tab of LSD. Could you imagine the fun we would have watching a pitcher try to get his bearings in a 2-1 game?! Facing Aaron Judge? Use the Dock Ellis Card on him and he’ll strike out even more due to the hallucinations. This adds another layer of managing and now AL managers can actually manage games in the regular season!
NFL - Headset Espionage:The NFL goes to great lengths to prevent teams from picking up each other’s headset frequencies. For those of you that don’t know, the NFL (and pretty much all of football) depends heavily on headsets to communicate with the QB, coaches in the coaches box, and each other on the sidelines. Wouldn’t the NFL be way more fun if each team had 30 seconds worth of espionage use? Meaning, they could listen in to their opponents audio feed and gather all the info they wanted to, but for only a total of 30 seconds. The game within the game would become even better with teams throwing out fake calls during times they feel like the other team is using their espionage time.
NBA - Gimmick Bet:The NBA is wildly popular because of their superstars. Unfortunately, most of their superstars are gimmick based and that bothers me. The Beard, The King, The Unibrow, etc. will now have to make a bet before each playoff series where they put their gimmicks on the line. Could you imagine how hard James Harden would play if his Beard gimmick was on the line?! Just thinking about the potential bets is making me even more interested in the playoffs. Celtics vs Cavs in the Eastern Conference Finals we get to see LeBron put The King on the line against Kyrie’s Uncle Drew. Loser has to end the gimmick and think of something new for 2019.
NBA - Houston Rule: A team can delay the start of seven total games by 30 minutes every year (including playoffs) so the crowd can filter in. I get it, life comes up and traffic is the worst so I’m not here to bash Rockets fans for not being in their seats when games tip, but I am going to help the teams out. I think they should be able to delay the start by 30 mins if they feel like the crowd is too thin for a real home court advantage. Now teams won’t be stuck with the predicament of a less than stellar crowd during a playoff game. This gives the crowd time to fight traffic, park, and get in their seats.
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How Houston Rockets hold the cards for a franchise-changing summer
May 8, 2025, 5:45 pm
In Houston, the winning standard has been set so high that anything short of World Series contention now feels like failure. And yet, the 2025 Astros find themselves at an unfamiliar crossroads—caught between the fading brilliance of past stars and the uncertain promise of what comes next.
Jose Altuve is at the center of this issue. His early struggles (-0.5 WAR) may indicate more than just a temporary slump. And when he swung at the first pitch after Lance McCullers had just endured a grueling 33-pitch inning on Sunday, it raised a bigger question: who has the influence to talk to Altuve?
The Astros’ culture has long been praised for its accountability, but who inside the clubhouse has the standing to challenge or counsel Altuve or other vets when needed? With so many veteran voices gone, there’s a growing sense that no one does—and that’s a problem. That’s why the idea of bringing back Michael Brantley—not as a player, but as a respected voice—could make some sense. Brantley was always viewed as a quiet leader, and his presence could restore some of the guidance this roster desperately needs.
Batter up?
While the Astros have built a reputation for reviving pitchers' careers, their track record with hitters is far less impressive. There are few, if any, examples of a bat joining Houston and unlocking a new level. That failure in development becomes especially stark when considering how much they’re currently leaning on homegrown youth.
Which brings us to Zach Dezenzo. The 24-year-old rookie is showing he belongs—his .737 OPS makes him one of the more productive bats in a lineup that desperately needs stability while Yordan Alvarez nurses an injury. While Victor Caratini provides the Astros with the ability to switch hit, he's hitting just .217. Dezenzo should be starting every day in left, with Yordan out. Jose Altuve, who has already played too many innings this year, should be shifted to DH duties to ease his physical burden. The Astros should go with Cam Smith in right and keep Jake Meyers in center to round out the outfield.
GM Dana Brown has made clear that he views Dezenzo as a first baseman or left fielder for the future. So why not get him in the lineup while Yordan's out and see what he can do with consistent playing time?
Of course, losing Yordan Alvarez is always going to hurt. But the numbers tell a surprising story. Yordan currently holds a -0.4 WAR, right there alongside Altuve and Christian Walker as the only Astros with negative marks. On paper, the team hasn’t lost much production. But let’s not kid ourselves—Yordan’s mere presence alters how opponents pitch to this team. The lineup without him lacks fear factor, and the margins get razor-thin.
Speaking of margins, one move that may haunt this front office is the decision to sign Christian Walker. The veteran first baseman is hitting just .205 with a .617 OPS—far below the level expected from a player earning $20 million annually through 2027. Compare that to Jon Singleton, who posted better numbers in 2024 and currently boasts an .880 OPS in Triple-A with the Mets organization. Walker's defense is strong, but it's hard to argue that justifies the price tag. Singleton might not be a Gold Glover, or anything close, but he came much cheaper and was quietly more productive with the bat.
No regrets?
There’s also a broader question looming: if fans had known that Altuve’s massive contract extension would potentially cost the team the ability to re-sign current MVP candidates Kyle Tucker and Alex Bregman, would they still have supported the deal? Hindsight is cruel, but with Altuve’s decline and Tucker and Bregman thriving, it’s a fair debate. Houston might have paid for the past instead of securing its future.
Big deals on the horizon?
All eyes now turn to owner Jim Crane. This winter, Houston's payroll will have considerable room to maneuver. But will Crane commit to restocking the lineup with All-Star-caliber bats, or will his reluctance to offer long-term deals keep the Astros stuck in a holding pattern? It’s one thing to let players walk. It’s another to fail to replace them.
The Astros still have the bones of a contender, but the road back to dominance is getting steeper. The team can’t simply rely on what used to work. It’s time for difficult conversations, bold lineup changes, and a rethinking of how this organization develops—and retains—offensive talent.
We have so much more to get to. Don't miss the video below as we examine the topics above and much, much more!
The MLB season is finally upon us! Join Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and Charlie Pallilo for the Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast which drops each Monday afternoon, with an additional episode now on Thursday!
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