CHANGING PACE
Raheel Ramzanali: Some off the wall rule changes for all the major sports
With rule changes being all the rage in sports these days, here are some other rules I would like to see implemented across all sports:
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MLB - The Dock Ellis Card: Did you know LSD is still banned in baseball? As my co-host Del explained to me, “hey dumbass, LSD is still illegal so yes it is banned,” so yes it is. I think LSD being banned is dumb. If anybody still wants to take a tab of LSD and be a professional baseball player they should be able to do it. I want to take it a step further and implement a new rule where each manager is given a Dock Ellis Card every game and they can use it at anytime to make any player on their or opposing team take a tab of LSD. Could you imagine the fun we would have watching a pitcher try to get his bearings in a 2-1 game?! Facing Aaron Judge? Use the Dock Ellis Card on him and he’ll strike out even more due to the hallucinations. This adds another layer of managing and now AL managers can actually manage games in the regular season!
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NFL - Headset Espionage: The NFL goes to great lengths to prevent teams from picking up each other’s headset frequencies. For those of you that don’t know, the NFL (and pretty much all of football) depends heavily on headsets to communicate with the QB, coaches in the coaches box, and each other on the sidelines. Wouldn’t the NFL be way more fun if each team had 30 seconds worth of espionage use? Meaning, they could listen in to their opponents audio feed and gather all the info they wanted to, but for only a total of 30 seconds. The game within the game would become even better with teams throwing out fake calls during times they feel like the other team is using their espionage time.
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NBA - Gimmick Bet: The NBA is wildly popular because of their superstars. Unfortunately, most of their superstars are gimmick based and that bothers me. The Beard, The King, The Unibrow, etc. will now have to make a bet before each playoff series where they put their gimmicks on the line. Could you imagine how hard James Harden would play if his Beard gimmick was on the line?! Just thinking about the potential bets is making me even more interested in the playoffs. Celtics vs Cavs in the Eastern Conference Finals we get to see LeBron put The King on the line against Kyrie’s Uncle Drew. Loser has to end the gimmick and think of something new for 2019.
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NBA - Houston Rule: A team can delay the start of seven total games by 30 minutes every year (including playoffs) so the crowd can filter in. I get it, life comes up and traffic is the worst so I’m not here to bash Rockets fans for not being in their seats when games tip, but I am going to help the teams out. I think they should be able to delay the start by 30 mins if they feel like the crowd is too thin for a real home court advantage. Now teams won’t be stuck with the predicament of a less than stellar crowd during a playoff game. This gives the crowd time to fight traffic, park, and get in their seats.
