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See where Sunday's Texans loss ranks among the 5 most embarrassing of the Bill O'Brien era

See where Sunday's Texans loss ranks among the 5 most embarrassing of the Bill O'Brien era
Sunday's Jaguars game made the lost of most embarrassing losses. Houstontexans.com

Sunday’s loss against Jacksonville was one of the worst performances by a Texans team under Bill O’Brien. Here are the five most embarrassing losses of the O’Brien era:

No. 5: Sept. 22, 2016 - Patriots 27, Texans 0

The Patriots were down to their third-string quarterback, Jacoby Brissett. All he did was baffle the Texans defense, and Houston did absolutely nothing on offense in a brutal loss in New England. Brissett rushed for 48 yards and a touchdown and completed 11 of 19 for 103 yards.

No. 4: Oct. 25, 2015 - Dolphins 44, Texans 26

The Dolphins put up 41 first-half points and coasted in the second half. The Texans were simply not even remotely competitive when the game was on the line. They added some garbage time points, but also gave up three plays over 50 yards and were dominated by Lamar Miller (175 rushing, 61 receiving, two TDs) and Jarvis Landry (5 catches, 83 yards, 2 TDs).

No. 3: Dec. 17, 2017 - Jaguars 45, Texans 7

The season was lost long ago, but the Texans had at least been putting up a fight. They did not in this one. Jacksonville dominated the first half, taking a 31-0 lead, and never looked back. The Texans finally got in the board in the third quarter thanks to DeAndre Hopkins (who else?) but did nothing else. How bad were the Texans? 17 minutes into the game, they had 10 yards of offense. The Jags had the backups in with 10 minutes left in the game -- and still scored. Houston was outgained 465-186.

No. 2: Oct. 4, 2015 - Falcons 48, Texans 21

This is another where the game was out of reach early. The Texans were down 42-0 before putting up 21 meaningless fourth-quarter points. They were simply overwhelmed and never in the contest.

No. 1: Jan. 9, 2016 - Chiefs 30, Texans 0

Who can forget the playoff disaster at NRG? The Chiefs returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown and never looked back. Brian Hoyer turned the ball over five times and deflated an excited crowd. As with most of the games on this list, they were never a factor.

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Have the Astros turned a corner? Photo by Logan Riely/Getty Images.

After finishing up with the Guardians the Astros have a rather important series for early May with the Seattle Mariners heading to town for the weekend. While it’s still too early to be an absolute must-win series for the Astros, losing the series to drop seven or eight games off the division lead would make successfully defending their American League West title that much more unlikely.

Since their own stumble out of the gate to a 6-10 record the Mariners have been racking up series wins, including one this week over the Atlanta Braves. The M’s offense is largely Mmm Mmm Bad, but their pitching is sensational. In 18 games after a 4-8 start, the Mariners gave up five runs in a game once. In the other 17 games they only gave up four runs once. Over the 18 games their starting pitchers gave up 18 earned runs total with a 1.44 earned run average. That’s absurd. Coming into the season Seattle’s starting rotation was clearly better on paper than those of the Astros and Texas Rangers, and it has crystal clearly played out as such into the second month of the schedule.

While it’s natural to focus on and fret over one’s own team's woes when they are plentiful as they have been for the Astros, a reminder that not all grass is greener elsewhere. Alex Bregman has been awful so far. So has young Mariners’ superstar Julio Rodriguez. A meager four extra base hits over his first 30 games were all Julio produced down at the ballyard. That the Mariners are well ahead of the Astros with J-Rod significantly underperforming is good news for Seattle.

Caratini comes through!

So it turns out the Astros are allowed to have a Puerto Rican-born catcher who can hit a little bit. Victor Caratini’s pedigree is not that of a quality offensive player, but he has swung the bat well thus far in his limited playing time and provided the most exciting moment of the Astros’ season with his two-out two-run 10th inning game winning home run Tuesday night. I grant that one could certainly say “Hey! Ronel Blanco finishing off his no-hitter has been the most exciting moment.” I opt for the suddenness of Caratini’s blow turning near defeat into instant victory for a team that has been lousy overall to this point. Frittering away a game the Astros had led 8-3 would have been another blow. Instead, to the Victor belong the spoils.

Pudge Rodriguez is the greatest native Puerto Rican catcher, but he was no longer a good hitter when with the Astros for the majority of the 2009 season. Then there’s Martin Maldonado.

Maldonado’s hitting stats with the Astros look Mike Piazza-ian compared to what Jose Abreu was doing this season. Finally, mercifully for all, Abreu is off the roster as he accepts a stint at rookie-level ball in Florida to see if he can perform baseball-CPR on his swing and career. Until or unless he proves otherwise, Abreu is washed up and at some point the Astros will have to accept it and swallow whatever is left on his contract that runs through next season. For now Abreu makes over $120,000 per game to not be on the roster. At his level of performance, that’s a better deal than paying him that money to be on the roster.

Abreu’s seven hits in 71 at bats for an .099 batting average with a .269 OPS is a humiliating stat line. In 2018 George Springer went to sleep the night of June 13 batting .293 after going hitless in his last four at bats in a 13-5 Astros’ win over Oakland. At the time no one could have ever envisioned that Springer had started a deep, deep funk which would have him endure a nightmarish six for 78 stretch at the plate (.077 batting average). Springer then hit .293 the rest of the season.

Abreu’s exile opened the door for Joey Loperfido to begin his Major League career. Very cool for Loperfido to smack a two-run single in his first game. He also struck out twice. Loperfido will amass whiffs by the bushel, he had 37 strikeouts in 101 at bats at AAA Sugar Land. Still, if he can hit .225 with some walks mixed in (he drew 16 with the Space Cowboys) and deliver some of his obvious power (13 homers in 25 games for the ex-Skeeters) that’s an upgrade over Abreu/Jon Singleton, as well as over Jake Meyers and the awful showing Chas McCormick has posted so far. Frankly, it seems unwise that the Astros only had Loperfido play seven games at first base in the minors this year. If McCormick doesn’t pick it up soon and with Meyers displaying limited offensive upside, the next guy worth a call-up is outfielder Pedro Leon. In January 2021 the Astros gave Leon four million dollars to sign out of Cuba and called him a “rapid mover to the Major Leagues.” Well…

Over his first three minor league seasons Leon flashed tools but definitely underwhelmed. He has been substantially better so far this year. He turns 26 May 28. Just maybe the Astros offense could be the cause of fewer Ls with Loperfido at first and Leon in center field.

Catch our weekly Stone Cold ‘Stros podcast. Brandon Strange, Josh Jordan, and I discuss varied Astros topics. The first post for the week generally goes up Monday afternoon (second part released Tuesday) via YouTube: stone cold stros - YouTube with the complete audio available via Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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